No, the nastiest is “sit in Daddy’s lap and whip your head forward just as he leans towards you”. It’s OK, dear, Daddy is only writhing on the floor, turning purple, clutching his throat and making strangulated gasping noises because you’ve just crushed his larynx with your forehead. I’m sure he’ll be better in a couple of weeks.
Oh, and balls. All infants seem to know instinctively that if they headbutt, elbow, step on or otherwise mistreat your testicles, there’ll be less chance of future competition for scarce resources. The selfish gene in action, right there on your wedding tackle.
I was sitting in a chair with my oldest daughter when she did just that. I saw stars, and thought I was going to pass out.
So I oozed gracefully to the floor, trapping her halfway under me, and holding onto her shirt.
Her screaming and wiggling finally brought me around.
One bloody swollen nose, and one black eye later, nobody believed me, either.
I was born in 1960, and a few years after that my mother was wearing a pair of gold hoop earrings.
Bad idea.
For the rest of her life, she would gaze longingly at small pearl or diamond earrings and then remind me that I was the reason she couldn’t wear the tiny earrings she adored, because they would slip through her ear, because of a certain red-headed daughter…
Our one year old head butted my wife so hard a few weeks ago, we had to go to the dr. They thought there was a chance she had fractured the bone around her eye. She almost definately had a mild concussion. I thought my rep would be ruined to.
Thanks, commasense–I knew the SDMB crowd would give me an alibi.
Glad to know our child is not the only one with homicidal tendencies. Actually, she’s the worst when she’s expressing affection, which she occasionally does by grabbing and pinching. If her fingernails aren’t trimmed, she is easily capable of drawing blood. Ah, the joys of parenthood!
Feh. That’s nothin’. My toddler gave me a busted nose. I was bending over to help him with his shoelace and he pulled his head up…WHAM! Right in the schnozz. It hurt so bad I was seeing stars. But I recovered.
Anyone here ever been “loved” by a severely autistic kid? The phrase “love hurts” means sooooo much more to me now than it did when Nazareth released the song! Our son has an extreme tolerance to pain, and is unable to feel empathy, so he has NO IDEA that the “biting kisses” are not nearly as fun for us as they are for him. One of his favorite ways to love mommy is to press his bared teeth against my chin. Not such a big deal, as it doesn’t leave a mark, but it really kills my neck to have all that pressure. He’s almost 11 now, and he’s a strong little bugger!
He gave his brother a “Tyson” once, bit his ear clean through the cartilage (just trying to wake the boy to get his attention). Try explaining that at midnight in the emergency room… “Well, Mrs. CoolName, when a child is brought to us with a human bite, we are usually inclined to call Child Services”. But my dear friend showed up, and was able to vouch for us. These kids and their crazy loving!!!
With all due respect, Wish, I think it’s time you broke your son of that habit. He could seriously injure someone as he gets older and stronger. It sounds like he’s inflicting quite a bit of damage now.
