The feeling of relief is really not that unusual in this situation. I remember when a dear old friend of the family died, after long and repeated struggles with cancer; his family told us they felt much the same way. (He was an incredibly warm and funny man; as he was in the stage that it sounds like your father is in now, every once in a while he would regain full consciousness, look arouind the room at all his loved onces, grin, and say, “Am I dead yet?” They didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and generally did both at once.) I’m just glad you have gotten to say your goodbyes.
This thread is making me cry. I put my mom into hospice five years ago this weekend. The realization that there’s never enough time to tell someone you love them is devastating. I’m glad you’ll have good memories.
When I read the thread title I expected to see that your father had already gone. I’m so sorry, but glad you were able to tell him the important things. We all lose each other, eventually, but we don’t always get a chance to speak our hearts to them.
Please remember that lots of people are thinking of you and your family right now, probably many who are sending their thoughts and prayers without posting to this thread.
My dad went through a similar thing several years ago. He had a miracle turn around and is fine now. His wasn’t brain related but heart and lung related. He was on his deathbed, declining rapidly. The doctors told us he had 48 hours to live. We weren’t going to revive him if he died as it wouldn’t have solved any of the problems. He lingered on for about a week and suddenly he was doing much better. He was barely conscious, didn’t really respond, or anything.
When he went off life support his body kicked in and a few hours later he was sitting up on his own and shortly another few days he was discharged from the hospital. Since then, the doctors have been giving him a few months to live at a time and he has been doing well. He even went back to work because he got bored of staying home on disability. He still has “6 months to live” as of his last doctor visit. He has been working on those 6 months for the last 4 years.
In other words, even though your father may seem to be waiting to die, don’t give up hope. The entire family was ready to see my father die at that time, but he is still around. Spend as much time with him as you can now so if things go the way of the worst, you won’t regret it as much later.
My condolences and best wishes, matt_mcl, although I have no doubt that with your courage and strength of conviction, you will see your way through this.
