Support for matt_mcl

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

In this thread our beloved matt_mcl tells us a little about his father, how sick he’s become. I’ve just finished speaking with Matt and the poor guy’s completely done in. Trying very hard to be strong for his family, he’s a marvel, and completely exhausted.

I think many of us have probably been in a similar situation, trying to hope for the best and not just wait for the worst. The existing thread is so full of best wishes and support, it’s wonderful, but I’m asking for more. Something else perhaps, anything to help him keep going during such a tough time. Perhaps talk about something he’s said that’s touched you, something you’ve learned from him. Something he’s said to make you smile, because he’s smart and cute and funny, and so well-loved I’m expecting a lot here. Many of you have known him a lot longer than I have; you’ve been very lucky in that respect. Now it’s payback time.

As for me? What can I say, I admire his strength, his heart and his spirit. I’ve never met anyone with such a capacity for care, he’s incredible and I’ve never been more proud to be associated with anyone in my life. I love him with all of me, and consider myself lucky to be able to do so.

I’ve seen the SDMB in action many times, I’m expecting good stuff here, people. Go to it :slight_smile:

2

I just posted what my heart led me to say, over in the other thread. But you’re right: matt is one of the strongest and most decent people I know. A lot of us get on this board and bitch about how the world would be a whole lot better if everybody would do what we think they ought to; matt runs for Parliament – twice. Many of us think gay people need support in what they go through; matt goes out and volunteers. Some of us see difficulties in language as a problem; matt actively pushes Esperanto. Whenever anybody from Middle America gets on with the idea that the U.S. holds a monopoly on the ideals of democracy and freedom, matt posts a gentle reminder about what Canada’s ideals are. I’ve often said that as a Christian, I look to Triskadecamus as an example of how to put my beliefs into practice; as an activist, I look to matt.

Potter, I know how much you love him, but I think I speak for anybody who’s known him even virtually through these boards for any length of time, in telling you that you have no idea how lucky you are.

(And, BTW, this thread was one of the best ideas I’ve seen in MPSIMS in many a day – you’re a pretty good man yourself! :))

3

Matt - I met you at SugarDope, and had the fortune to ride out there with you and LaurAnge.

I am happy I met you, and am honoured to consider you a friend. :slight_smile:

4

**Matt ** You are the nicest gay esperanto (esperantus?) male Montrealean that I’ve ever read on line.

:smiley:

5

Matt, the only time I’ve really interacted with you on these boards was a (mild) disagreement. Well pish! You’re a Doper, you like subways… That’s good enough for me. You’re cool.

I’m proud to be part of the SDMB family. Like most of us, I’ve gained a lot from these boards. Like most of us, I recognise the need to give a little back as well. That is the spirit of this place. It’s presumptuous of me to make this post, as there are lots of folks here who put me to shame in the way of community spirit. The main thing to remember: Matt, you are not alone. The Dopers are here. You have given a lot to these boards, don’t be shy to ask for a collective shoulder when you need it.

6

matt, I have never been lucky enough to meet you IRL, but you show so much of yourself on SDMB. There are hostile threads where it’s chaos and everyone has the flamethrowers out, and I’ll be thinking “what a mess”, and then I’ll see you’ve posted and my automatic reaction is; “Oh good, the Voice Of Reason.”

You’re a peacemaker, matt. And you’re a formidable man as well.

Blessings on you and your fam, and much lovingkindness from me.

7

Matt, we all think you’re a great guy, I really am saddened to hear you’re under such stress lately. I hope things look up for you. If you need to talk, we’re here.

8

I’d met Matt as an fellow Esperanto-speaker before I’d ever been to a Dopefest; he gently introduced me to my first TorDopeFest. Not only that, he waited around until I arrived late, because of a misunderstanding about when my previous appointment was to end.

And his Metro website, like the subway it describes, rocks.

Yes, I live in another city hours away from you, Matt, but if you meed to talk or email–or a place to crash*–, I’m available. My email, if you don’t already have it, is in my SDMB profile.

9

I’ll always remember matt’s support when my kitten was dying, and how he stuck up for me.

You guys are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

10

You don’t know me matt, but you’ve made me laugh out loud here more than once. Best wishes and good thoughts to you and your family.

11

Matt, you helped me understand that I am not a freak. No, not because I’m gay, since I’m not – I’m straight as… something really straight – but because I’m a subway geek, and now I know I’m not alone. Thank you!

12

This post was going to be a new thread of mine earlier in the week. How lucky that I decided to wait until today and much luckier that I saw this thread before I started it.

It is partly because of matt that tomorrow for my final speech (oral communication) I am going to stand up in front of at least one homophobe, and possibly more, and talk to the class about gay rights and gay suicide. And (in typical fashion for anything important enough) I will give examples that are personal in a dual nature: they are of people (as opposed to statistics) and they are of people important in my life. matt is one person I will talk about, as are a few other people I’ve met or heard of on this board.

When I was writing the speech earlier this week and messaged him for help (again; I’ve written similar pieces and thought to ask him first for help) I told him something I think he could bear to see again:

“I’m writing this after the piece you wrote on your website.”

In typically confident-yet-modest fashion, his response was something like “I hope that’s a compliment:)”

That final I will give tomorrow is worth close to one third (28 of the 100 points) of my grade for that class. And I am largely taking as inspiration parts of his website. I have had to reorganize it due to the style we are required to use, but much of the thought and emotion in it is strength I have from what he has said so courageously in the past. Were it not for the fact that B’s mother works in the building (in whose house I currently live) and that we don’t know how she’d react to the news of my sexuality, I would out myself in that speech. And much of the strength would come from seeing matt fight. As is, I will have to word it otherwise, which will take some power away from my words. It is not a happy compromise, but there you have it.

I will stand there and speak to them for roughly ten minutes and I am confident that I will feel weak in the knees for two reasons: one, because I do not know how well-received the message will be; two, because all I will need to do is think of the strength I see in matt and I will be able to say what I feel needs to be said.

It is not a complicated message. It can’t be. I’ve had to decide what is the most important thing about these two topics (gay rights and gay teen/young adult suicide) and further cut that down. I wish I had half an hour to go into some of the more poignant stories of the failings of this society to protect and preserve its own.

I will stand up there later today for all the people who cannot do so for whatever reason, just as matt has done many times before, for far larger and less hospitable audiences. I hope that whatever cosmic force or higher power is around then will instill in me some fraction of the changing force behind his words and actions.

13

Hang in there matt. You have my best wishes for you and your family. I hope your Father is doing better. Make sure to take some time out and pamper yourself in some small (or big) way. You’re going through the wringer right now and need to remember your own needs too.

Warmest Regards,

Zenster

PS: Thank you Potter, for starting this thread.

14

Matt, though I don’t know you well, I’ve been fortunate enough to have spent time with you at a few dopefests. I can say that you are definitely one of the most interesting, intelligent, kind, and expressive people I’ve had the pleasure to meet, and hopefully will see again many times in the future.

I hope that you come through all this in an ok place, and wish you the best.

If you do need some extra support in any way, do let me know, seriously, I’m less than two hours away.

15

I don’t know matt_mcl very well, but I do know what it’s like to hurt. Hang in there, matt. The best advice I can give is to keep loving your dad. Show him that you love him as much and as often as you can. Love really is the best medicine sometimes. It will help when nothing else will. Best wishes to you and your family.

16

matt, you’re one of my family here - I’m pullin’ for all of y’all.

17

Kudos to you, Pun, for making that speech – and in a place where people don’t get that message often, if at all. That takes bravery.

And it is not a hijack of this thread to praise Pun for that. Because a large part of what’s motivated him, and me, to speak out as we have, has been the example of people like Esprix and gobear and especially matt.

“The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing,” – attributed to William Burke, M.P., fl 1780s

And on the other hand, all it takes for the battle to be won, is for one man to have the balls to stand up and speak the truth, unafraid, to stand for what’s right, whatever the cost.

Matt has those balls. In spades, doubled and redoubled. He’s proven it over and over again.

And today he faces a burden nobody should have to bear alone. I only hope that the support of family and IRL friends, and the sense of support from all of us who unfortunately know him only as an online presence, a person who radiates from a bunch of words on our computer monitors, can give him the strength he needs to bear up through it.

18

I’m probably the last person who should be posting to this list, as I haven’t been here that long. But I’ve seen matt in action, seen how tenacious and fiesty he can be. I’ve always had a lot of admiration for him, and for what he believes in. I’ve never seen him be anything but kind to those he loves, and witty and scintillating to those he disagrees with. This place is a lot more interesting with him in it.

19

Matt,

Your compassionate spirit shows through in every post you make. Your fight for the rights of all people is truly humbling. It is people like you that make this world a better place. I wish you and your family peace and inner strength.

20

matt is, hands down, the sexiest brain I know. (And he’s a hottie, too!)

I’ve been through what you’re going through. FIND SUPPORT FOR YOURSELF, or you’ll never make it.

I trust and love you! Mwah!

Esprix