Let me speak from my own personal experience. YMMV.
The survivors are certainly aware of the deceased’s flaws. But they are in a vulnerable and possibly conflicted emotional state, and they simply may not want to hear about those flaws right then. It’s really much safer to be bland and kind unless you are on very familiar terms with all involved. OTOH, I only know OpalCat and JillGat (and her mother) from what they’ve posted on the SDMB, and thus absolutely no insight as to how JillGat’s remarks might be received.
From the other thread:
I have to say that I was thinking this myself.
As I said, I didn’t know Opal beyond the SDMB. She seemed to have a deep sadness and recurring problems, and her accomplishments never really overcame those. I didn’t feel strongly about her one way or the other, so I didn’t post in the other thread. But I was shocked to hear of Opal’s death, just because to me she was a de facto SDMB personality.