Some of us already do. 
Sampiro once trolled the fetid and dank sewers beneath Paris looking for the man who dressed exactly like The Phantom Of The Opera.
When he found him, he bathed him within an inch of his life.
This would be truly frightening for Cartooniverse who has bathed twice in his life. Each bath resulted in the need for extensive counseling.
True, that.
Lord Il Palazzo is neither Italian nor a nobleman. He is in fact a slender man named Phil from Alamagordo, New Mexico whose family comes from a long line of squash-blossom silver jewelry makers. He has long blond hair and a scraggly beard and until he reached his thirties he greatly resembled Zonker Harris.
Cartooniverse speaks several languages fluently yet cannot figure out if crosswalk signals are telling him if he should or shouldn’t walk yet.
Swampbear lost a bet once and had to cross the Arctic Circle.
Since he hasn’t lost another one since, he cannot cross back and now lives quite comfortably with the Polarbears.
Cartooniverse holds a platinum card with Acme Products, and people who offend him have been known to be squashed by a 16-ton weight.
Malacandra is a quality-control officer for Acme, and despite frequent product liability litigation has never yet disapproved a shipment.
Elendil’s Heir confused Acme with acne, and was shooting large steel anvils out of the zits on his face. He managed to kill his chihuahua during one particulary satisfying squeezing session.
VunderBob has dropped anvils on many chihuahuas in his lifetime. Only once was it accidental.
Lord Il Palazzo knows how to divide by zero, but finds it more satisfying to keep the world in general ignorant of the secret.
Time for the thread to die, guys. At 1200+ posts, 25 pages, and nearly a month’s run, you’ve had a good go at it. But when the same few people are the ones posting over and over again and keeping it alive, it’s time to move on and let other threads stay on the front page.