Hi all, I’m new to the forum, but I’m loving its message and would like some help (sorry about the incoming essay).
So here’s the thing:
Unlike my Jewish family, friends, and community here in Australia, I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and look more or less northern European (no, my mum did not have an affair). I look so atypically Jewish its become a source of humour amongst my peers, especially after encountering so many strangers making incorrect assumptions about my nationality/ancestry.
I’m more aware than most that a ‘Jew’ usually doesn’t conform to stereotypes, and that not all Jews have dark hair and eyes, big noses, and small scrawny moneyloving bodies. But my friends often jokingly label me as an ‘aryan’ (a term used by Hitler and his followers denoting those of German descent, especially with a Germanic look) despite the obvious flaw in their terming.
Their ongoing focus on such as left me with a perception that I am superior to them; that because I look ‘whiter’ I’m inherently better. And while seems like the fundamental basis of racism, it becomes especially insane by the fact that I’m somehow seeing Nazi ideals as a virtue, and looking down upon my own culture.
I’m an atheist, so the religious element is irrelevant. It’s this arrogance combined by self hatred which is annoying me. It goes against everything I believe in but I can’t shake it off. Thoughts? Help?
You cannot change other people’s warped perceptions. And life it too short to care enough to try. Either they will get to know you sufficiently to understand their assumptions were wrong, or they won’t.
As a young female traveler, I found myself in parts of the world where, all Western women, were deemed to be whores, and a young woman traveling independently, even worse. It did not matter how modestly I dressed, or, how observant I was of the local cultural standards, in some people’s eyes that’s what I would be. I was a visible minority. It was inescapable.
When I went to the uni, I looked so young, everyone thought I was a teenaged genius. Conversation after conversation, I would explain that I was of only average intelligence and actually 23yrs old. Profs, Admins, peers. You cannot change the misconceptions of everyone. You have to settle for clearing them up for the people who matter and letting the rest slide.
What to do? There is nothing you can do. Just carry on regardless.
I can see being annoyed by their jokes about your blonde hair and blue eyes, but it seems an awfully big leap from there to “Nazi ideals are a virtue.”
It sounds like they’re razzing you because you look different, and not because you’re a member of the master race. A Japanese person with natural red hair and freckles would probably take quite a bit of teasing too, but it wouldn’t imply that the Japanese consider themselves inferior to gingers.
This is an extremely honest self-appraisal and I applaud your ability to face your demons. You just might have to get some therapy to understand and overcome this superiority complex. How do you think your perception manifests itself? I mean, clearly, you can’t be the most successful or talented one in your family. Why does that not suffice to alter your beliefs?
