I am Asian. (from South Korea) and living in Amsterdam.
When I was in the UK, I got so much hurt from random people on the street including students at my uni.
They just ignore me or make fun of me.
Today I got told that 80% Asians are looking retarded.
I know I look retarded or better to say looking little bit like a crazy one… I don’t like myself and I don’t want to see myself either. Even when I was in Korea, I got told so hurtful talking behind me.
But I am very talented and my personality is pretty good. I am a product designer and working for world famous design company. Sorry to mention but the work I make is amazing. Very different and innovative. I have a strong imagination and creative mind so I feel so sorry about myself. If I were white, or I looked better than now, I would have had much better life. People usually don’t talk to me before I talk to them and even when I talk to them, they react strangely… I am just nothing in anywhere. So that things make me more immerse to my study and have my own time to develop myself using my skills.
When I went to a design exhibition held by my company, I took lots of pictures. There were so many people in the exhibition and an old lady just started talking about me that all Chinese people copy this fabulous designs and try to steal it. They cannot make their own design because they are disgusting blabla. (whatever.)
I am afraid of my future because of my looking. Imagine that even you have a strong mentality, you get told that you look retarded or make fun of you whenever you go outside.
How can you possibly cope with this situation ? I had a counselor at my uni but that didn’t help at all. I am really sad. I dunno what to do. Because of my talent, I cannot even give up on my life.
Please give me any helpful answer!