At yesterday’s Bay Area Dopefest we were discussing how various movies had been cleaned up for TV.
Some directors apparently wrote special alternate gag lines to be filmed during production, so the movie would not be ruined in postproduction editing at some TV studio.
Sorry that I don’t recall the films, but some examples were:
A heated exchange of “Fuck you!”“Oh, yeah? Fuck you!”“Yeah! Fuck you!” became the hilarious “Thank you!”“Oh, yeah? Thank you!”“Yeah! Thank you!”
In another “Blow it out your ass!” became “Blow it out your air hole!”
When Jaws first went on broadcast TV there was a dubbing in the scene where the mayor is indignant about the “vandalism” of a billboard advertising Amity Island. The original line was “I want you to find those paint-happy little bastards and string them up by their Buster Browns.” Bozos was substituted for bastards. But later, when the original became acceptable, I heard it without the dubbing.
In a slight hijack I think the first time I heard “bastards” used on broadcast TV was in an episode of MASH. A wounded soldier thought that the doctors were deliberately letting his mortally wounded buddy die so they could use one of his heart veins in another soldier. He looks at BJ and Hawkeye and utters, in a bitter voice, “Oh you bastards”. I don’t like a lot of profanity but that seemed OK to me, not gratuitous at all.
I remember seeing Ghostbusters on TV, and instead of Bill Murray calling the EPA man “dickless” and then later after the mayor asks a question he says, “It’s true. This man has no dick.” Murray calls the EPA guy “Mickey Mouse” and then answers the mayor with, “He is some sort of rodent, we haven’t determined what.”
In the first Godfather movie was shown on TV, the scene where Mike has volunteered to shoot the NY police captain and Sonny is telling Clemenza to hide a gun in the rest room of the restaurant where they are going to meet, he says “I don’t want my brother coming out of there with just his dick in his hands.”
When it aired on TV, the line was changed to “just a stick in his hands”, which of course made no sense.
Fox broadcast “Pulp Fiction” last night (I get the station out of Spokane). It was the wee hours of the morning. They had overdubbed practically everything. An already pretty vapid movie was now completely meaningless.
I was watching “Trading Places” on Comedy Central a few days ago. In the scene in the bathroom where one of the Duke brothers says, “I would never let a nigger run the company,” it is changed to “I would never let VALENTINE run the company.” I put VALENTINE in caps because the volume level jumps noticeably during that splice.
Showcase (a Canadian TV network) has a hillarious ad campaign based on this.
They show an obscenity laden scene from a movie, with all the obscenities dobbed over (Badly).
Tagline: Wouldn’t you rather see it uncut?
Examples:
The Usual Suspects; Police line-up scene. ‘Fucking Cock-sucker’ overdubbed as ‘Fuzzy Sock-Sucker!’
Some movie in black & white with Robert Deniro and Joe Pecci: ‘Are you fucking my wife?’ overdubbed as ‘Are you friends with my wife?’ Several other lines are also redubbed. ‘Try a little more fitness and a little less eatin’.’ for example.
My mother and sister related to me the anecdote of their watching ‘Jackie Brown’ on a cable channel that had dubbed over all the profanities. Because the term ‘mother f***er’ was used so much, they bagan keeping count of how many different ways it was dubbed.
Mother finger.
Melon feeler.
Mutual funds.
Ruined the movie for them. But they got a good laugh. Now we never use the original profanity. We just substitute in one of the interesting alternatives.
-In Die Hard 3, the sandwich board Bruce Willis has to wear in Harlem says “I hate everybody”.
-In D.C. Cab, someone uses the insult “whitebread chickenstuff hockenberry”. One day I’ll se the original unedited to find out what this translates to.
Any Mr. Show fans remember the spoof they did of Goodfellas called Pallies (edited for TV)? There’s a scene where one guy calls another a “mother father chinese dentist” as well as a scene where one character gives another the finger, which has a big “thumbs up” superimposed over it.
I remember seeing Fame (the movie) on TV, and there is a scene where some of the students are attending a showing of ** The Rocky Horror Picture Show **. During ** RHPS **, one of the traditional audience participation lines is “Asshole!” - when Brad does or says something, I don’t recall clearly. Anyway, this was dubbed as “IDIOT hole.” Sort of the worst of both worlds, I guess.
How about when they showed Fast Times At Ridgemont High, when Spicoli was fantasizing about being interviewed as a professional surfing star, and he dismissed his competition as “Fools”! (instead of fags). Now I really don’t advocate pejorative names for groups of people, but
I HATE when they bowdlerize movies. Though I can understand why they might have to do that on commercial prime time TV, it’s insulting when cable channels do that.
For example, Turner Classic Movies was featuring some famous
director from the 1960’s–I forget who it was–and after singing the praises of this man’s talent, did they have the
honesty to show the film as he meant for it to be? No, of course not–they bleeped out the naughty words.