Overheard on Eighth Avenue

[Man and woman walking down street; woman points to restaurant]: “We goin’ in there, motherfucker, or I *stab *you right now.”

Pointless possibly. Mundane? Not to the man.

Without a point the stabbing wouldn’t be very effective.

I must know the name of that restaurant in case I really need to eat.

Having dated people who were unsympathetic about my having low blood sugar problems, I have to say: you *go *girl!

I wouldn’t be surprised if her harpy shrew of a mother was waiting inside to hear his reason(s) for not wanting children.

This is why I can never leave New York. I have overheard just in the past few months:

“Now, that Janis Joplin, she had *her *problems.”

“Bitch took all the drugs! We coulda *sold *them!”

“*Every *town got its dirty-ass boys.”

Heh. Yeah, I love New York. I’ve mentioned it here before but my favorite ever has to be when I heard a couple of people on the bus the day after Valentine’s Day and one of them said, “I love you bitch but if you ever shit on me during sex again it’s over.”

So, you write the Monday Metropolitan Diary all by yourself, do you? :smiley:

I was actually *quoted *once in the Overheard in New York site–it was the proudest moment of . . . well, the week!

Well? What did you say? You can’t just leave us hanging…

I said it before and I’ll say it again: you gotta get that on a Hallmark Valentine Card.

I’m betting on pregnancy and a craving. I felt that way about a Key Lime Pie before I knew I was pregnant. Went to three different grocery stores but they were all out of them.

When we finally found one, we brought it home and I went to start cooking dinner while Ex took a shower. I thought I’d pull it out and have just one bite before I started cooking. It fell on the kitchen floor top down and smashed. He found me on my knees sobbing.

I was overjoyed when I found out that Celtling was on the way, but there was also an element of profound relief. LOL!

At that point, I woulda eaten it anyway. With my hands. Right off the floor.

I ain’t proud.

Clipboard hippie: “Would you like to help save the earth?”
Eve: “Fuck the earth."
Clipboard hippie: "What about the

Eve: “*Fuck *the children.”

You really do always have the right words for the occasion, don’t you? Perfect.

I had no idea you were a priest.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you saying about priests and the Earth?

That’s what I was thinking. I’m five months pregnant, and I found the overheard comment to eminently reasonable.

Today I had a bearded raggedy homeless-looking person shamble up to me on the street and announce to me, in a confidential voice, “I’m going to give up sex for awhile” before shambling away. :confused: