You vulgar little maggot. Don’t you know that you are
pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. I’ll bet
you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.
You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. I would rather kiss a
lawyer on the lips than be seen with you.
You are a fiend and a sniveling, back-boneless coward, and you have bad
breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for
knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless
newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a
coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum. And I wish you would go
away.
You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little
worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a
cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench,
a revulsion, a putrefaction, a big suck on a sour lemon with a lime
twist.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared
richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth
into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody,
abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and
then killed themselves in regret for what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same
species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at
the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut.
Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are
a weed, a fungus, a ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I
mention you smell?
If you aren’t an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating
one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before
attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are
a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able
to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little twit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive
its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to
fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink
shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing
nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,
nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an
ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t have sex with
you. Your hand even refuses autoerotism. You are unreservedly
pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality
forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important
statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What
fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted
tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat,
spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a
disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.
On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are
deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of
wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted.
You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow
wherever you go.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard
stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes
way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of
stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed
on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten
so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing
hot mid-day sun on the warm side of Mercury stupid. You emit more
stupid in one second
than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing
has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid.
Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of
stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything
else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I
can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you
may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength
left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about
unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of your drivel.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped
away most of what you wrote, because, well… it didn’t really
say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was
pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among
a load of babbling was hardly effective… Maybe later in life, after
you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more
success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal”
people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering.
But we sometimes forget that there are “challenged” persons in this
world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this
was your case then I would have never read your post. It just
wouldn’t have been “right”. Sort of like parking in a handicapped
space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social
struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you (like passing
gas, for instance).
In short, if I traded you for shit, I would lose the container I
brought you in. Otherwise, have a good day.
