I don’t quite know how to say this or what it means exactly, but when I did a search for toilet paper at my local Wal-Mart grocery website, the first and third hits were for Kodiak Power Cakes, both Dark Chocolate and Cinnamon Oat.
I may delay trying these until toilet paper becomes more readily available.
No way. Real men use pancakes. A Power Cake ain’t got no time for you or your puny-ass digestive tract - it gets in there, rattles its way right on through, then wipes your crack on the way out.
Oh, I admit I am not made of the right stuff to endure an ass-wiping of this manner.
Even were I gender-qualified, I would simper, cry out in a weak and wimpy way for my on-demand warm water, self-cleaning, heated seat, gentle-dryer-after bidet. Toilet paper use is strictly limited to gentle blotting, and ought not be confused with some heavy duty breakfast-food-cum-abrasive-tissue-substitute scraping and tunneling its way out the exit route as a poor imitation for cleanliness.
I feel faint just thinking of it. <wrist to forehead>
At least Wal-Mart has the huevos (con las salchichas y frijoles) to name and shame.
For those on the the go, they make protein packed frozen waffles!