I am the victim of an insidious cabal of tailors, designers, seamstresses, salespeople, and fashion executives. Why, you may wonder? It’s simple.
You might go to a store or look in a catalog and notice the section for pants and think, “Hey, I could use a really spiffy new pair of trousers.” or “It’s about time that these slacks were replaced with a nice pair of bone colored Chinos.”
I look at the same thing and realize that a group of jackbooted thugs are secretly controlling the creation of pants and pant related articles to spite me and drive me into a spiralling depression of higher pants prices all in the insane drive to conform to the societal norms of not letting my special area swing proud and free during the course of a normal day.
And how do they do this? By creating and selling pants that utterly fail to fit me unless I apparently take out a 2nd mortgage on my home, order styles my grandfather would find laughable, and limit myself to the color choices of 1970’s crushed velvet couch or Cher hair color of the week.
Honestly, I know that having a 36 waist and 38 inseam might be a little off the beaten path, but is it truly necessary to force me into an endless progression of ill-fitting sweat pants, shorts not designed for winter use, or pants that I am forced to cling to for years past their prescribed use with a tighter death grip than if my mom was being pulled away by rabid demons.
Just a simple pair of decently fitting pants that can be found outside of a circus setting. That’s all I ask.
Or buy them long and learn how to hem the cuffs yourself. That’s what I did for my ex for years–he was just about the same size as you it sounds like…
But, on a non-practical level, I feel your pain. Us wimmen folk often have similar problems. You know all those cute, flattering, figure hugging dresses and blouses all the stylish mannequins are wearing these days? Try fitting anything above a 36D in those getups without looking like a beachball wearing a bikini…:mad:
And, actually–I just realized I mixed up Mullinators measurements. The chances of finding a 36 waist longer than a 38 are probably pretty nonexistent. Oops!
So–plan B: Wear the crushed velvet ones and start calling yourself Le’Fabulous. It might work for you.
JC Penny catalogue sells Levi’s with a 38 inseam. Roughly $50 a pair. I just bought two pairs. I recommend the 540’s. I think you can get them from their website.
Eddie Bauer catalogue sells unhemmed khakis. Roughly $40 a pair. If you put a 1/4" hem on them, they’re about a 38 inseam. I have about six pairs, in various colors. They have multiple styles – go to the store and try on various pairs (which will obviously be way too short) to see which styles you like. I think you can also buy from their website. (Eddie Bauer is also one of the only place with tall sized shirts, so most of my clothes are from there.)
Nordstrom’s Rack has good unhemmed dress pants. Roughly $40-$70 a pair, although some locations have better selection than others. If you want a nice suit, Nordstrom’s department store has many extra talls, although it’s a pretty pricey place.
Hope that helps. I truly know your pain. Buying clothes sucks when you’re tall.
P.S. I should point out that I’m only telling you this because you live in Georgia. There’s already a couple of other tall guys I compete with for the freak sizes at the local stores. The last thing I need is another beanpole grabbing up all the non-orange pants.
I thought dealing with a 32" inseam (as a woman) was tough. Especially because women’s pants don’t come with the inseam marked, and the standard inseam seems to be 29.5". I’m not kidding; I’ve seen that exact measurement listed in catalogs when they do bother to give an inseam, and measured some slacks as being at that length. Other common inseams for women’s pants are 31" and 33", and I’ve been stuck with getting a 33" and trying to hem them.
You say orange pants like they’re a bad thing…
JuanitaTech, proud owner of a pumpkin pair of mens’ cords from Banana Republic and a pair of mens’ orange Sans-a-Belt pants from the 60s or so.
Oh sure, it’s easy to be perky below a B cup. Braggart.
See–somewhere in the back of my head I knew you had boy parts. But…but…you sounded so convincing! Trickster! Deceiver! See if I talk to you about my boobies again.
