This is the thread to tell us all what little victories and defeats you have encountered as a parent. I’d like to avoid the big stuff, like the Rhodes Scholarship or recurring meth addiction, but the fun little things that happen as a parent.
Win:
Kid Cheesesteak, teenager, is totally into the songs of my teenage years. Solid rock and roll, Van Halen, AC/DC, Bon Jovi, ZZ Top. I can let him be in charge of the music for road trips and I know I’ll like most of the songs.
Fail:
He hates pizza. I mean, what kid hates pizza? It’s just wrong. When we want to get pizza for dinner, he has to have something else. It’s annoying and wrong, and I’ve failed as a parent.
My oldest (18 in 2 weeks) loves classic rock as well. When he was ~7 years old he could identity an unknown Queen song just by Freddy’s voice. Definitely a proud moment when I learned that.
My youngest (15) also hates pizza. He also hates pretty much everything else, which explains why he’s the only one in the family who isn’t overweight. I dont know if thats a parenting fail or a win.
Win: the 17 year old is a very good driver. He has recently been driving our classic Mercedes 300E to work and school and I have no problem with that.
Fail (maybe): the 15 year old has his permit but has no real desire to drive. In 8 months he’s driven maybe 2 hours. He never learned to ride a bike – his choice – so I’m getting concerned that he won’t take driving seriously and thus not be as safe as his brother.
When my kids were little I was a stickler for seat-belt usage. I never started the car until everyone was buckled up. I figured this would create safer adults. Today my kids would never think to not use their seat belts.
This came to mind recently when a woman I was talking with told me her brother had totaled his car. He was speeding on wet roads and rolled the car several times. She had pictures of the car, it was scary.
Someone witnessed the wreck and called 911. An ambulance arrived and loaded him on a stretcher. He regained consciousness as the ambulance began moving and he insisted they let him out. They stopped at the first place they could and he left on foot. He eventually went to an urgent care to have his broken arm and concussion addressed.
I asked the woman if her brother was wearing his seat-belt. Her eyes bugged out and she told me NO!!! Her dad had raised them to never wear them, as they could trap you in a burning car or drown you in water.
Her dad was my polar opposite, and it sounds like her family is a bunch of nutters.
Both my kids have been doing their own laundry since early teens. Neither of them drink soda, and my son is a teetotaler. Win!
Both my kids will not eat corn. Sure, they like stuff where it is hidden, like corn meal in deep dish pizza crust, but if the kernels are visible, they pick it out. Corn on the cob, a summertime delight, is a no-go. Even my daughter, who is a self-proclaimed ‘adventurous eater’ wont eat corn. Also, neither of them eat breakfast cereal. WTF? Fail.
A couple of years ago, I thought it would be funny to try and convince my sons that I had a phobia of camels (I intentionally chose something that, should I inadvertently cause one or both to genuinely develop a phobia, it would be unlikely to affect their lives too much). I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how much they’ve both bought into it (they are 8 and 3 now and still going strong, though I doubt the older one really believes it’s true). They both think it’s hilarious to tease me by surprising me with a picture of a camel, and they bought me a small camel plushie for Christmas for the same reason. I consider it the best thing I’ve done as a parent (yeah, I know - setting the bar low!).
Fails - the 8-year-old doesn’t like cheese much - he will eat a pizza, but not if it has ‘too much cheese’. Whereas in my book, ‘too much cheese’ is an oxymoron in pretty much any situation.
All the negative things I can say about my 20 year old son. Living at home and apparently no motivation to move out, this is a big disagreement between my wife and I. Swears like a sailor. Thinks nothing of leaving dirty dishes in the sink, not even rinsing them off. Won’t put his clothes away, just throws them in a pile to be washed and again after they are washed. Argues with his mom, I, and his sisters.
However the kid is a workaholic. Full time job, a part time job after work 3-4 days a week, this morning he was up at 4AM to work for a guy moving snow before going to his full time job. Always seems to be buying and selling, flipping things to make even more money.
You would think he would be rich by now and have money for a down payment on a house. No, he spends it as fast as it comes in.
Perhaps check him for celiac disease. A good friends son has that (no one else in the family did). It’s a protein found in wheat. Kid was miserable for years.
Went to see why my 9 year old’s light was on past midnight, and found her curled up on a chair reading a book. Also she was wearing a fuzzy dragon costume.
That was a win for night Dad, but a fail for morning Dad.
At a gradeschooler, my kid commented that all his favorite bands were “half dead” “Like who?” “Yeah, like Who! And the Beatles, and (then he listed a bunch of vintage punk bands that I’ve forgotten)”
And I said “That’s some serious music. Someone raised you right…”
Ironically, my strict vegan daughter hates vegetables (Win/Fail).
Although I’m an obligate carnivore, I’ll take credit for my daughter’s love of animals and hence her choice of veganism.
But, somewhere along the line, I failed to instill a love of vegetables in her. She hates almost all vegetables and all fungi, which makes adhering to a strict vegan diet challenging at best. But somehow, she makes it work.
My other daughter is also vegan, but she loves vegetables (Win/Win).
(I’m not really an obligate carnivore, of course. I like haute cuisine, like ice cream, donuts, pizza…).
Both daughters like good ol’ rock & roll and progressive rock from the 60s and 70s (Win), but they prefer that modern non-music that silly tone-deaf kids listen to these days (Fail), and they can’t stand classical and jazz music (Double Fail).
My 4yo has got super into the Beatles, thanks to the god awful Netflix cartoon beatbugs (which has some how licensed the whole Beatles back catalog but not had any money left over for writers). But still, I’ll take it, especially as she insists on listening to them in the car, instead of the usual Disney tripe ;). I am fairly sure she thinks the anthropomorphic insects from Beatbugs are the actual origin of the songs and the stories daddy tells about the some grownups from Liverpool is just a silly story, mind you
Fail:
She’s decided she doesn’t like cheese. She briefly decided she did again during Christmas dinner after sampling the cheese board, and then decided she didn’t again (after taking loads of the expensive cheese and taking a bite from each piece )
My son still does this when he visits us (he’s 23). And refuses to empty the dishwasher. Drives me nuts because he’s an awesome kid in almost every other way. (I mean, just the fact that he’s already finished college, secured an excellent job and moved out is awesome in my book.)
My son has certain chores, take out the garbage and recycling, feed the cats, scoop litter boxes, and feed the guinea pigs. He does them (win).
We have to remind him to do them every single time (fail), not one day goes by where he just does it and we don’t have to bring them up. It’s been like a year of doing these same chores, a year of reminders, and he STILL doesn’t know what day recycling is picked up.
The cheese thing is interesting. My 11 year old eats cheese, but isn’t a huge fan. A couple of his friends are the same. I don’t remeber anyobe not liking cheese when I was his age.
Wins: he loves to read. Tears through books, and we have wonderful book talks. Loves history and current events.
Losses: Not as indepependent as I would like. He hesitates when it comes to trying new things, especially independently. This is not the 11 year old who can cook dinner, and he doesn’t want to be. But he’s getting better. Hes much more independent than a year or two ago.
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