When my boys were very young–walking around and wanting to touch everything–I would say “hot” and demonstrate with my own hands not to touch certain things. The power button on the CPU was a favorite of my youngest. I figured out early on when my oldest was under two years old that once he learned that “hot” was associated with danger, he wouldn’t be able to argue with it. Once a kid learns that “no” is just the opposite of “yes,” he’ll challenge it almost everytime.
Another thing I do–but this is a recent technique–to keep the little one from running into the path of oncoming cars in a parking lot when I have my hands full and can’t get him into the car right away is I tell him to “touch the car.” He’ll stand there quietly for the few seconds it takes me to open his door, set down the groceries or whatever, and get him into his seat. He puts both palms on the side of the car which makes him look like he’s getting arrested, but it does the trick until the concept of not getting run over sinks in.
Our kids are only allowed 30 minutes of TV a day (they’re 5 and 2 1/2). They have a variety of DVDs and some kids’ shows on tape. They alternate who gets to pick each day. On weekdays, the kid who doesn’t pick TV gets to decide which way we drive to go to daycare, out of 3 options. They’re getting pretty good at taking turns.
We got our 5-year old to eat more protein by allowing him to “steal” meat that was cut and placed to the side of our plates “for later.” We’d make a big commotion about where the stuff we were saving went and he’d laugh and eat it all.
We used to make the mistake of asking them if they wanted to eat whatever we were having for dinner. Now we just put it on their plates and they either eat it or they don’t. They’ll usually try it that way, even if they say they don’t want it. Acceptable dinner substitutes are things we don’t have to cook (cereal or peanut butter and jelly). The ubiquitous chicken nuggets are out unless we offered them that up front.
We try to bathe them together but sometimes they don’t want that. The first person to insist of having a bath by himself has to go first. That usually causes the first to insist that he can take a bath with his brother after all, thereby earning himself another 15 minutes of play time.
The latest trick is for the 2 1/2 year old, who wants to be in his brother’s room at reading time before bed. The older one gets annoyed at that, but the younger one will throw a fit if you try to make him leave. I discovered that if we read a book that is way beyond the level of the toddler (like a chapter book), he’ll get bored eventually and wander into his own room to read one of his books. No screaming or temper tantrums involved.
I’m reminded of Calvin and Hobbes and a strip where Calvin proposes to his father: “Dad, I have an idea – why don’t you pay me $10 for every A, $7 for every B, $5 for every C, and a dollar for every D to motivate me?”
His dad replies, “Calvin, you should try to get good grades for your own future.”
Calvin walks away saying, “Rats. I thought I had four dollars, easy.”
It took me forever to learn this; if your younger sibling is constantly wanting to hang out with you and your friends, yelling at him to go away does not work. Letting him stay there and watch you play barbie or letting him pick up a piece of paper and draw means he doesn’t actually bother you - he gets bored and goes and plays by himself.
I’ve found that the younger sibling finds it harder to entertain themselves and I always got yelled at for not playing with my brother - I was able to entertain myself with a book or some paper and pencils, why can’t he?? It’s just one of those things. Does anyone have any ideas about how to get younger siblings to entertain themselves (that are of an age that they should be able to do so) without needing the input of an older sibling or parent?
Yeah, actually I feel the same way as Calvin’s dad, but ten bucks per A is the system their stepbrother and stepsister have, and it actually seemed to create some interest in doing schoolwork for a change. sigh