Heavens no. I raised them right. If my kids fart, they’re grounded for a week. No exceptions.
I never said anything much except “Quit farting on your sister!” and “Don’t use your butt as a weapon!”. My oldest daughter is a prude and would never intentionally fart on or anywhere near someone. Her younger sister however, acts like she was raised by Jenny McCarthy. She only does it at home though (as far as I know) so it is an internal matter and not a public disgrace.
Barking spiders! Who stepped on a duck?
At home, it’s a joke. In public, I figured peer pressure would learn them faster than I could. Whaddaya know? It worked. (We may have occasionally told them to say “excuse me” while at Grandma’s house. Expecting a 3-4 year old to have much control over farts is a waste of time.)
Unfortunately, we didn’t have a dog to blame.
So, we blamed Flipper, our pet goldfish.
Ironically, Flipper actually *was *always guilty of the crime—he lacked the intestinal enzymes needed to properly break down his favorite foods (cabbage and broccoli)…and he was a very rude fish.
hold a contest to see who can crack off the loudest one.
Holding your farts in is bad for your health . You can tell your child if feel like fart is coming on they should into the bathroom and fart or leave the room .
No has dies from smelling someone fart . I had clients fart right on me when I was a health aide . I couldn’t tell a 80 or 100 yo person to hold their farts in.
um, actually, diverticula are not caused by holding in farts. The fart-gas is in your rectum. The diverticula are in your colon. Lack of fiber, obesity, and lack of exercise are leading contenders for their cause.
naturalhealth365.com isn’t exactly my first stop for reliable medical information. :rolleyes:
My little guy is just 2, so I’m not even bothering to start until he’s potty trained (we’re starting on that now).
Right now, he just goes when he goes, he doesn’t make a big deal.
However, if he catches daddy letting one lose, the neighbors will know in 2 seconds flat.
“DADDY POOPOO’ED! MOMMY, DADDY POOPOO’ED!!”
At work, I just excuse myself and go into the elevator.
For a while, mine would introduce me to people in a similar way. “Daddy pees!”
I don’t recall having a “farting” protocall or speech. However, my dad was the main culprit in the family and whenever he would cut the cheese my mom would say in a very obstinate manner “HANK … Well I hope you feel better”. We got the message loud and clear that she was disgusted by it and that it was something not to be shared with others. One story I recall is when I first moved in with a boyfriend who thought farting was hysterical and did it often. The first time I let one go (and it was a room clearer) he jumped off the couch with the most shocking and disgusted look on his face that I knew our relationship was doomed. I was right.
Oddly enough, this video just popped up on youtube…
I explained to them about the barking tree spiders.
I also taught them to yell, “Who fired that shot?”
Your kids are probably sneaking off farting in an alley somewhere with the “bad” kids because you didn’t allow them free expression (or free expulsion).
I blame the barking spiders.
Once I was waiting in the line for the cashier when a little girl, maybe just 3, was waiting in line with her mommy in the next aisle. She farted and looked embarrassed about it, so I just gave her a smile and told her “That was a good one.”
Good night, sweet prince
Lights A Match Now That He’s Gone
When I was in 7th grade, I tried to sneak out a fart. It came out as a big long squeak/whistle.
I turned to the boy sitting next to me and said, “Way to go, Mike!” Everyone thought it was him, no matter how much he denied it. I’m sure if I saw him today, he’d still be irked.
I knew Mike!
He denied being the culprit for many troubled years. The accusation devestated him and he eventually committed suicide (in a terribly painful manner) as a result.
…or, maybe that was a different Mike…