When I was a teen, I had no style. At all. I was style-negative. Style was sucked out of the room when I walked in. I was strictly T-shirts, blue jeans, old sneakers, white socks, and hair that I let just grow long and straight. No creative cutting, no conditioning, nothing that indicated I’d done more than shampoo it and maybe give it a comb.
If I’d done anything with my hair that even remotely indicated I cared what it looked like, I think my parents would have been thrilled to death.
My own son has already been shocking people with his hairdo and he’s not even six months old (no deliberate styling on our part, he was just born with a fright wig), so I’m not sure what my reaction will be by the time he’s a teen.
It’s funny but this is the first response on this thread that I can relate to. My wife and I are average middle class, mid-Western American white people. We are about as exciting as mayo and bologna on Wonder Bread. I would never tell my son that he definitely could not get a different hairstyle and we have even suggested that he try a slightly different look that is common amongst his friends. But he thinks the more radical looks look stupid, dyed hair looks clownish and long hair is for girls. He also laughs at the pierced kids. He once said, “Why would anyone want to get their tongue pierced? Don’t people usually pay to get rid of a speech impediment?”
If he wants to change his appearance, I want to be involved in his decision. To me, that is what being a parent is about. I won’t stop him. I will help him to think through the consequences of his actions. He’s seen kids do self-tats or piercings and get designs shaved in their heads because they thought it would look cool, only to get laughed at. Teens rarely think beyond the here and now. A parent will help them see what might happen next. Of course, YMMV.
Last year I participated in the St. Baldrick’s “shave-a-thon”. My son thought it was embarrassing but he could understand the reason why I did it. He wanted to do it and we were proud of him for wanting to join in but we reminded him that his graduation photos were going to be taken soon. He paused and said that he would want until the next year because he didn’t want to look back at his graduation photos and be the only one in his class to look so different.