In the dwarf hamster thread, I noticed Mama Zappa, jokingly, saying this.
It made me wonder…does anyone really do this? And would you? Obviously, it wouldn’t work for a dog or cat, but for something small like a fish or a hamster or a turtle, I suppose it might.
I’m not a parent, but I guess I’d find it a bit intellectually dishonest. Plus, kids have to learn about death at some point, right? What would you do?
It depends on the the kid and their age, of course. For my God daughter who is very mature, I would have no problem telling them the pet died and letting her select another one, but she is 10. For my five year old nephew who flips out if he accidentally colors outside the lines in the coloring book, the goldfish gets replaced without his knowledge if possible.
Obviously I limit this to animals with no ‘personality’ to avoid the kid figuring it out. A cat or dog is out of the question. A frog, snake, or lizard…maybe. Goldfish? definitely.
My mom says that she replaced my fish, turtles, white mice, hamsters and gerbils all the time and that I never noticed. It wasn’t until I got up to the recognizable guinea pigs that she stopped doing it. I was just a kid and didn’t know what their lifespans were supposed to be anyway. I lost a fair amount of them myself so she didn’t have to explain or replace those ones.
I tried it with a fish.
Then it died, too.
Then I tried it again, and it died.
I bought another, this time letting Jr. Intergalactic Gladiator #1 know that it died, then that one died.
I then gave up on the fish.
We did not try it with the dog, there was no chance of that.
Where are y’all getting these animals? I’ve had the same goldfish since I was in elementary school! They live practically forever!
Of course, my folks explained to me that sometimes they molt and that changes their color a little bit from one day to the next, and sometimes even their gender. But, jeez, that’s nature’s magic!
I love my little Huck Fin and can’t imagine what I’d do if he died.
KneadToKnow, I think you need to know. Your goldfish…is on a farm somewhere. Running around, enjoying the fresh air.
My mother one time was caring for my conure while I was traveling, when she looked down to see that he had walked across the table and picked up one of her pills in his beak. She said that in a split-second the thought had immediately leapt into her mind that “he’s going to keel over; can I go out and find another bird who looks just like him before my son gets home?” Happily, he dropped the pill without incident.
(Off-topic: I asked my mother if she then took the pill, and she said she didn’t remember.)
With Blackie, my black lab that was allergic to my mom’s '74 Impala?
That’s great news! Yay!
I replaced a hamster. I normally wouldn’t have done it, but my son was 6, my niece, his best friend and everyday playmate, had just died 10 days before. Chewy No. 2 stuck around for another 3 years or so (Chewy No. 1 had been here maybe 3 months). When he was 16 the topic came up, and I thought of confessing, but his “I’m glad I had Chewy after Sydney died.” stopped me.
As a boy, a particular stuffed animal of mine which had apparently lost its head in the washing machine, was replaced by my mother, who neglected to dispose of the fallen pup without my seeing. It might have worked, but I was inconsolable upon seeing my murdered (stuffed) pet.
Moral of the story, bury the body quick 
Absent extenuating circumstances, no, I wouldn’t lie to the kid. Heck, I think 2/7 of the reason kids should have little pets is so that they die and the kid can stop asking what *dead *means.
I can imagine, however, that if my kid was having a hard time with something else in her life, like starting school, or a new baby was about to be born to the family, or her grandparent just died, that I might decide that a pet’s death is a lesson too many right now and delay it by the ol’ switcheroo.
I never say never.
I wouldn’t. Death is a part of life, and kids have to learn how to say goodbye to loved ones.
You can’t shield them from the bad stuff. If they never learn how to deal with it, that’s worse.
I wouldn’t, for the reasons **ivylass **beat me to.
She couldn’t just have sewn it back together?
As for the OP-hell no. Just tell the child and help him or her cope. Unless we’re talking ant farms or sea-monkeys, that’s a seriously shitty thing to do.
ETA: or basically, what ivylass said, for she is wise.
I wouldn’t because I don’t like lying to my kids. I’d like for them to be able to trust me, both with good and with bad.
When my siamese cat died when I was about 6, my mother called all over the state to get another before I got home from school. She told me that Barney had died, but let me know that Chocolate was there for me. She kind of had to tell me because Chocolate hid in the closet for 4 days.
StG
We replaced a turtle when our daughter was 17 and didn’t tell her for a while. The dog killed him (or her?) and my husband went out and got a new little turtle because we felt bad that the dog had broken down the gate and murdered Pete.
Then we sort of didn’t say anything. She kept getting irritated with me and asking why I was calling her turtle ‘Repeat’ instead of Pete. Then Repeat died and I confessed the whole sordid tale and she was mad at the dog.
Other than that, no. When a pet died we didn’t replace it, but we did have little funerals. You haven’t lived until you witness a eulogy given by an eight year old for a hermit crab.
We’ve lost a lot of fishies, and my kids don’t seem to be traumatized. I think they’d notice if I replaced them; they are very observant with the fish and routinely point out individual details I haven’t noticed.
Yeah, well, my brother drowned my teddy bear in our little inflatable pool, and nobody tried to shield me from harsh reality. They just left it in the pool to rot, til I discovered it. Childhood is a bitch.
My aunt did this for her daughter and she never found out. Evidently this hamster was able to escape from it’s cage and long story short the dog ate it. My aunt came home and the house was so fucked up that she thought she got robbed. Apparently this little dwarf hamster put up a good fight. She was able to find a hamster that looked enough like it to fool her daughter. I like to be honest with kids my self. For example my cousin and myself as well as other family visited my grandmother out of town. My cousin asked where her husband was (he passed away from the last time she was there), she just told him he was back in Sacramento (where he was buried). I later told her that he died when she asked me. She has had other family members die don’t see why people should lie to her about those things. In fact I think telling a kid that a pet died is a good thing to do because it can prepare them for a situation of when a relative dies.