Eat the following diet tomorrow (or choose a more convenient day)…
Breakfast
1 1/2 Plain bagel, prepared as follows: 1/2 with butter, 1/2 with straberry jam, 1/2 with cream cheese
3 cups of coffee (or as much coffee as you desire)
Lunch
Bologna sandwich (wheat bread, 2 slices Oscar Meyer Beef Bologna, brown mustard)
1 vending machine-size bag of Fritos
1 handful salted peanuts Supper
1 glass of white wine (screw-top bottle)
Grilled cheese sandwich (wheat bread, three slices american cheese)
3 small haloween candies of your choice
You may drink as much water as you desire throughout the day.
The next day, report back with your ‘findings’.
So, IOW, you want us to eat a normal American diet for a day and report back?
Can we double the amounts? 'Cause I don’t know any human beings who can eat “3 small Halloween candies” on the day after Halloween. The week after Halloween, maybe, but November first? Not humanly possible, sorry.
Of course, doubling the amounts would mean that we’d have to eat 3 bagels for breakfast, and have two bags of Fritos for lunch, but I don’t think Americans raised in a culture of abundance would have too much trouble with that.
The baloney and grilled cheese sandwiches are problematic, though. Too much like “Hell In A Junior High School Lunchroom”. So can we substitute?
Main Entry: 1re·port
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈpȯrt\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from reporter to bring back, report, from Latin reportare, from re- + portare to carry — more at fare
Date: 14th century
<snip> 3: an explosive noise
You want us to eat that and then make an explosive noise for you?
Not going to happen. I think the only ingredient on the list presently located in my kitchen is the butter.
Would I eat a prescribed diet and report on the results if all ingredients were currently located in my kitchen or at least were things which I buy routinely?
Probably not. But there’s no way I’d drink coffee or wine just to appease the curiosity of some person on the internet, even if they magically appeared in my kitchen and I didn’t have to buy them.
Well, to tell the truth, I’m wondering if eating that for a day will make your poop smell really bad, like it did to me.
I normally don’t eat a diet even remotely resembling this, and the results were both instant and severe (I usually eat a lot of fish and fresh vegetables, soups and fruits).
1.5 bagels and three cups of coffee is a lot for breakfast. I’m happy I’ve gotten to the point of eating an English muffin and my vitamins!
And like others, I’d have to go buy the bologna, the American cheese, the strawberry jam, the cream cheese, the peanuts, the Fritos, the damn bagel, the white wine, and the wheat bread. Damn.
If you sub out Soy cheese for the dairy in there, and margarine for the butter, and hot-dogs for the bologna: No prob. And I’ll tell you in advance I’ll be fine.