What are some party fouls you’ve witnessed in your days? (at parties/clubs/out at lunch/whatever) Any ole’ random accidents you’ve seen.
I can’t really start with something spectacular but at my apt in vegas I had this but tall piece of glass from pier 1. It was about 2 1/2 feet tall and 3-4 inces across. It was like a square shaped opening. Pretty thick really. Anyway… this chick kicked the damn thing over right onto kitchen floor. Shattered to pieces. Oh ya… it was filled with coins too for extra cleanup. She never fessed up to it even though 3 people including myself saw it. Damn drunk people.
Other time my buddy puked on the rug. I have pics if interested…
Oh last night I was at a club called level 4. Pretty sweet place. Biggest club I’ve been to. This dude was chasing his buddy, messing around, and the ground was a bit slippery. It was an open deck on the roof. Dude fell right on his ass in front of about 40 people. Good stuff.
I was really drunk at a dance once. There were some sort of decorations hanging from the ceiling. I was really really in my cups and someone dared me to try to kick one. They hung just above head level.
I tried.
I imagine it looked like a cartoon, because I really tried to kick that damn decoration, balance and momentum be damned.
I successfully kicked my feet above my head. My head obeyed the laws of physics and raced to the floor, post haste.
I completed about 50% of a backflip, in front of a crowded dance floor. The place became audibly hushed at the sound of my skull smaking the floor.
I jumped up and tried to play it off. I slinked away to find a group of people who hadn’t witnessed me demonstrate my drunk-fu.
We had a kind of funny telltale so that my parents would always know when we’d had a party. They had this one watercolor painting (done by a friend of ours) that seemed very abstract if you didn’t know what it was, and most people couldn’t tell. Every single time we had a party, some dumbass would knock that painting off the wall in the hallway, then replace it sideways. Every. Fucking. Time.
My parents still have that painting in their hallway- maybe they think my 38 year old brother and my 41 year old self might crash their pad while they’re out of town and throw a party!
At my wife’s 30th birthday party, people started screwing around with phones; calling people’s cells from the next room or the next couch or whatever.
We have cordless phones that work sort of like cell phones; you can dial the whole number, then hit talk and it’ll dial. One of our friends thought it would be funny to enter in 911 without hitting talk, and hand me the phone.
Unfortunately, the phone automatically dials when you enter 911.
The party died pretty quickly after the cops showed up.
My friend Drew (some of you may recall the story about the magnetic resonance machine) throws the most amazing parties.
At one such party (think about forty or fifty people crammed into a 3 1/2) very late at night, the police were summoned to warn us about the noise. Their arrival occasioned rather a ruckus and much flurried hopping-about, during the course of which I discovered that he and I wear the same size jeans.
As a result of the confusion, there was a panicked Livejournal message the next day that his bus pass had disappeared – sure enough, I had an extra bus pass, which I returned later that day.
At the same party, his pillow cases were ruined by someone’s blue hair dye. He chalked all of the foregoing up to an appropriate sacrifice to the party gods.
My girlfriend and I were invited by some friends to their company Christmas party. It was in the ballroom of a Hilton so we went with the fancy duds.
One of our Christmas presents to them was a nice bottle of champagne. After dinner we decided to open it. So my friend Ralph went to work on the cork as the rest of us chatted over coffee. Well Ralph lost the cork, which flew straight up and knocked off part of the chandelier. Which dropped straight down into my girlfriend’s coffee. The glass hit the cup at just the right angle to flip pretty much all the coffee all over her nice evening gown.
Fortunately the coffee had cooled off by then and she didn’t get burned. Naturally, this brought instant silence and all eyes on us. Ralph did his best imitation of the invisible man but it wasn’t working. Then we got a round of applause and some extra napkins. The hotel staff, however, weren’t so pleased.
I gotta hand it to her, my girlfriend just resumed partying. She’s cool that way. But the damp dress was uncomfortable and we left early so I could take her home and help her out of it.
I had a larger bedroom in an old apartment a few years back… enough so that I had a wicker couch thing that was off to the side of the room. At a party a bunch of people were over and a friend of mine was so drunk he fell asleep on it. Fine. I’d just wake him up in the morning and tell him I was leaving and therefore so was he.
At around 4 in the morning I was woken up to him bashing into the door (it opened inwards… He was trying to open it outwards by walking into it blindly while fumbling for the handle). I got up, opened the door, and not so lightly directed him in the direction that is not my room.
Close door. Go back to bed.
I woke up the next morning to find him asleep on my kitchen floor covered in paper towels and yellow paint.
Apparently he was not trying to leave, he was trying to go to the bathroom and was too drunk to find his way. I’m glad I’d woken up to the noise because as I learned later, he sat down in a chair for a bit, got up, then pissed right in the middle of the floor.
My roommates were awake and they were more friends of him than I was so they dealt with the cleanup (paper towels was about the most they’d spring for in terms of effort). I assume the paint was a form of shameing, though I never asked. I just assumed he was too drunk to have done it to himself and never inquired.
I’m glad I live alone and have nobody pissing in my kitchen.
Frat parties shouldn’t count here since they’re prime for misdeeds, but it’s all I have to share.
Winter, in Baltimore, at the one and only frat party I ever attended - I think it was at Johns Hopkins. Anyway, freezing outside and some bozo sets off a stinkbomb in the house. Opening the windows only somewhat dissipated the smell, while lowering the temperature considerably. I suppose I’d have found it amusing if I’d been drinking, but to me, it was just annoying. Plus I was being thoroughly ignored by everyone, including the friend who drove me there… But that’s another tale of woe.
Other than that, I tend to hang in more refined social settings. Yeah, I’m boring.
Must have been 20 years ago. Friends were having a party, and it was a lovely spring day. The keg was out on their deck. The deck was off the den, accessible through a sliding door. I strode purposefully toward the keg, and WHAM!! - yep, right through the sliding screen door. Knocked it off the track, ripped the screen from the frame, and broke my glasses in the process. I REALLY wanted that beer!
Think yourself lucky, in the film Home at the end of the worldThe main characters brother unwittingly runs through a closed patio door and is killed by the resulting slit throat from the broken glass. Not sure that would happen in reality, but you never know.
