Party IV: The game

Hmm, Zipper…would you perhaps like a glass of water?

Why thank you. Tell me about your front yard. Did you do it yourself, or did you hire a landscaper?

Woah, hey - what’s this now? I don’t care what you’re into in private, but I think this is something that probably shouldn’t be talked about in public.

We hired three!

I do like the ditch, Blaster. It reminds me of the pool at home. It’s twelve feet deep at its deepest! Olympic sized, you know.

I would like to know more about you–where you came from, how you got here, why you decided to settle here, that kind of stuff.
ZipperJJ,
Meat in cans, a la cocktail weenies is ok in small portions. I worry a little about the salt and fat content, but this is a Party, so it’s ok to have some foods that one should reserve for a special occassion.

BlasterMaster,

Sorry, not going to happen. Dog is definitely on the “too exotic” side of the delicacy scale.

And besides, how do you know our hosts aren’t spying on us?

I don’t, I guess. I just want to trust them.

If dog is too out there… can you try goat brain? I’ve heard that it’s quite posh in some parts of the world.

You have a pool? Nice! Can I take a swim in it some time?

I’m not saying our hosts aren’t trustworthy–I’m just not sure it’s safe to assume they aren’t spying on us–or maybe they have telepathy or something.

No goat brain either.

Oh man, you are missing out! I remember my first time eating goat brains…seriously, you need to check them out.

Thank you! I’m glad that at least one guy here has tried them. They are SO good.

But E, if you find that hard to gulp down too. Can you try to clear up what you mean with that word that you use? It sounds like you want to have stuff that’s plain.

Go ahead! Swimming is good for the figure, you know.

The summer before I left for university, I swam every night, and I lost several inches on my waist and thighs!

Not plain, exactly. (And which word? Delicacies?) I want to offer a food or a selection of foods which are especially appealling to our hosts. And it’s not that I’m picky, exactly, but I’m a little squeamish about trying animal products which are too far outside the range of ordinary. I don’t even like it when my shrimp have legs–much less heads.

I was hoping that our hosts might admit to having a special fondness for some ordinary but unexpected treat like prune juice.

Well my parents did disappear when I was 12. What do you expect? They didn’t even leave me the double wide. Cheap ass bastards. It’s a good thing that uncle Charlie came along and, uh, “took care” of me. Aunt Sally-Jean was always a little jealous, though. I wonder why? I did make her feel better about it when I was sixteen. Of course, she was only six months along when uncle Charlie buried her in the backyard. Something about the “cheating whore mumble mumble”. It’s a good thing I new how to keep him happy, or he probably would have taken me out too.

Hey, why are you grilling me? Everyone else up here has problems too.

I personally love spicy tuna rolls. The best ones I know of come from a kosher deli near my house.

Sounds like you had a rough life. Has anyone ever referenced the area between your shoulders and head as a primary color other than blue or yellow?

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you making fun of me? You know what I do to people who make fun of me?

Don’t mess with those Jeff Foxworthy fans!

Shrimp? YUCK! I say “sea roach”. They’re just as gross, but from the sea.

No no, I wasn’t making fun of you. How about this, what state are you from?

Ain’t sayin’. Can’t let my ex-wives and probation officers track me down.

Hey, you’re gonna blur my face, right?