I don’t like penguins either. Ever since “Happy Feet.” Well actually, ever since “The Pants.”
I know that a penguin, male or female, will sit on its egg for long dreary periods of time – weeks, IIRC. But other than that, I don’t trust them. They’re shifty.
That sounds dramatic… I mean YES, yes I can’t breathe. OMG, help help. ACOUGH HACK WEEzzzsdf… hack… c…ant… breathe… choke…
Okay, I have an emergency tracheotomy crib sheet right here. It’s got all the steps in order!
The list says: 1. Immobilize patient
2. Make a 1" vertical slit between tracheal rings
3. … oh, darn it! it’s got gravy on it! I can’t make it out.
Okay - who’s got a spare ball-point pen? And a knife. I need a really, really sharp knife!
(looks at the pie knives) Hmm… I don’t think that chocolate pie filling would be a good thing to get into Auto’s airways…
I’ve got a pen, and a drawer full of knives. They’re not really really sharp knives, though. In fact, only two of them are not butter knives, and they’re pretty dull. Do you think they’d work anyway?
I suspect that Auto would much prefer that we use the sharpest knives around. After all, it’s his throat we’re going to be cutting open. Having to saw down into his throat with a butter knife would be pretty distressing, I think.
Suddenly stands up
Oh, wow! I’m healed! It’s a miracle.
So sorry for disrupting the party like that. I can never tell when my Hodgkins Lymphoma will press against my arteries in such a way as to cut off the blood flow. The doctors say I’m cancer free but I know better. I refuse to be ignored.
Again, thank you all so much for the hospitality. sucks on a fiber milkshake
I think any host of a simple frivolous party who would allow an emergency tracheotomy with a butter knife should be shot!
I think anyone trying to use a butter knife for any surgery is barking insane.
And it is utterly scandalous that the hosts don’t have proper surgical scalpels available for just such an emergency. I’m sure that they have them. But they seem to have gone to bed, so they couldn’t tell us where the vital safety supplies were. Not quite as bad, but still pretty scandalous.
(Takes a shot of the hastily cleaned pie knife, and ball-point pen) Still, got some nice mementos from this.
Dirty knives make quasi-surgeons wary. Choose efficient silverware.
Thank God! That situation was all too alarming, as I happen to know that OtakuLoki’s surgical skills are marginal at best.
True, true. I’m in love with someone who has classically good looks.
OK, I am awake again. Glad to see that there was no emergency tracheotomy after all. We might have been sued!
I’d love to hear more about the animals everyone likes and dislikes…it’s for charades later.
Inner Stickler, do you enjoy reading Almanacs or the works of Confucius?
Justin, could you describe the moon for me?
Otaku, have you visited Paris or London?
I’m puzzled, I admit, about many of you. Such an unusual party.
Official guess: Auto is a hypochondriac.
That guy on the floor is WEIRD. I don’t like him. He sneezed on me.
Pie Madness Round 3!
THE FINALS
Vote early, and as they say in Chicago, vote often!
Apple pie of course! It’s all-American, after all.
I personally like donkeys. Elephants are just too pushy, ya know?
You know how the main rule of the SDMB is not to be a dick? Well, I am the complete opposite of a dick. And I certainly know how to spell tomato!
Dolores: So, how do you feel about those two notable Dicks: Nixon and Cheney?
I’d said “Munchausen syndrome,” but I don’t think we need to split that hair.
Not yet guessed:
Antinor01
brujaja
Dolores Reborn
Drain Bead
Eureka
Inner Stickler
Justin Credible
Kat
Left Hand of Dorkness
MadTheSwine
Omi no Kami
OtakuLoki
Rysto
tdn
Wargamer
Guessed, but welcome to continue to post if quirk is maintained:
Autolycus (Munchausen syndrome/hypochondriac)
Revenant Threshold (thinks he’s in Great Debates)
[oog]HOSTS – please don’t search Left Hand of Dorkness’s posts until I say it’s okay – he said something in the discussion thread that gives away *someone else’s * quirk without extra returns. We’ve asked the mods to fix that post, but in the meantime, there’s something there you shouldn’t see. Thanks![/oog]
I don’t like them! Dick Durbin, however…