Past the pixies, now the leprechaun

You wave goodbye to the strangely Dorito-obsessed pixies and find yourself in a sunny glade. Standing before you is a large, bronze pot. It is stuffed with gold!

You walk over to investigate, when you hear a loud whale of lamentation. It crashes through the brush, and floats in front of you. Riding on top is a stereotypical leprechaun. He jumps to the ground and begins speaking:

“Aye, laddy, that be me pot o’ gold. You found it, so I hate to be sayin’ it’s yours. But what say I offer you a deal? If you let me keep me gold, I’ll let you talk to the animals. Sadly, I failed magic classes, so I can only enable you to communicate perfectly with one species of animal. So, pick one: cat, dog, manatee, whatever, and you got it. So, what do you think?”

For now, here the story ends. You can keep the gold, or you can choose to be able to communicate with one animal. What DO you do?

I’d like to talk to the whales. Especially the ones that float.

I’d take talking to dogs. Dogs are better traveled, in general, than cats, and have some vivid senses. I think they’d be quite interesting and knowledgeable, if dense by our standards.

Gold? I can get that if I can really talk to dogs. The other alternative is humans – I’d expect that being able to talk to the entire species would be worthwhile. I’d be a natural universal translator!

Teehee, I’m thinking back to that far side comic where the man is wearing a dog-translation hat and all any of the dogs are saying is, “Hey! hey! Hey-hey-hey! Hey! Hey!”

“It has a snorky, brambish smell-kind of brunky, but the humidity affects that.”

Assuming humans are out this gets tricky.

Being able to talk to a cat does not mean it will do anything you ask it so there is not a lot of money to be made talking to them unless you are willing to blackmail friends and family. Bad Idea. So not my first thought.

Dogs are pretty good, dogs want to please. I would think talking to dogs would be very valuable as a dog trainer and for police work. This could make for an interesting career and make some real money.

The Gold is good, but I expect keeping the Gold would result in a Leprechaun that was out to get me. This could be really bad.

If I could talk to Cetaceans, I might be able to help save more of them. This would be the most moral thing for me to do. I could probably make a decent living while doing it, so actually talking to Cetaceans would work out well. If I need to pick a specific species, I might opt for Dolphins. Bottle Nose or Orca being my top choices.


Well… I’d take the gold. Then buy a 100 acre plot of land and use the rest of the money for a shelter for stray animals. Birds, cats, dogs, whatever. I won’t be able to talk to them but I’ll know what they’re feeling. :slight_smile:

Leprechaun gold has the annoying habit of vanishing. Go with a critter. Dog, in my case, but I’d suspect there wouldn’t be a whole lot of intelect behind it. Kind of frat-boy with fur.

How much money is your typical pot o’ gold worth?

I have no clue, but let’s just WAG and say ten million dollars.

I’ll take the gold. I already know what animals are usually saying, “Are you gonna finish that?”

I’d choose dogs, as they are common and more likely to do what I say, and if I can do that I can make plenty of money. As for the pot of gold, I’m not going to take it because it’s not mine; just because he’s not human doesn’t mean I have the right to rob him. And if he’s the evil variety of leprechaun I don’t want him coming after me.

[DonkeyFromShrek] Pick me! Pick me! [DFS/]

I can just imaging my cat’s speech, “Meow. Fucking meow.”