OK, I have a rant here. It’s long, so bear with me.
My sister was always a little screwed up. When she was 18 she got pregnant ON PURPOSE. She told the guy she was on the pill and she wasn’t. She wanted a baby and thought that the guy would just marry her (they had only been seeing each other a month or so). Instead, he told her to go get bent (basically) and bailed out. It may sound wrong, but I don’t blame him for it. He may not know it, but she did this ON PURPOSE- she wanted a baby. She didn’t care if he wanted one or not. She lied about being on the pill. She laughed about it at the time because she “tricked” him.
On my mothers advice, she did not file any paternaty stuff then- did not list him on the birth certificate. (I don’t know the whole scoop there). I guess it was pride- “he doesn’t want me, then I don’t need him OR his money” kind of thing. She cut him off completely and didn’t even call him when the baby was born.
She has kept in touch with his sister over the years on occasion and has given her pictures of my neice. Apparently in the last few years she has also mailed him pictures- no letter or anything- just pictures “So he doesn’t forget”.
Fast forward to today (11 years later). Out of the blue, she is filing a paternaty suit. She is angry that he now is married and has two other children (one a newborn) and does well for himself. She told me right out that it’s out of vengence that she wants him to now start paying child support. She sounded proud as punch at herself for doing this now.
The dillemma? First, we don’t even get along well- I’m just the only one in the family that doesn’t have a big mouth. I won’t tell everyone else in the clan about what’s going on, so she feels she can bounce ideas off me about it. My problem is, she was so WRONG about how the whole thing got started, she isn’t sorry at all, and she is going to SURPRISE this person with a paternity suit after 11 years of near silence.
By the way, she didn’t learn her lesson. She did the same exact act with her next boyfriend, got pregnant “on the pill”. Thought that was perfectly OK. Even advised me to do the same when my husband and I were talking about having kids and he was reluctant.
So I’m just looking for opinions. I am not going to tell her about how shitty I think this whole thing is, as I don’t want to make things worse between us. As much as I think this man has a responsibility to his child, she helped to cut him off in the first place. It just seems like one hell of an ambush to me.
Thanks for listening.