Pathos Porn -or- dropzone vs the Ghost of Christmas Present

The BBQ Pit
1

My company has a yearly–actually, yearlong–association with a large, local charity that provides a home for children in need. Think of Boys Town. A wonderful institution, though I have a giggle at members of the parent organization who seem more interested in getting drunk than charity work. Let’s leave the place anonymous, please, because its name is irrelevant and I’d get in trouble. It just reminded me of something I dislike about this time of year.

Anyway, a staff member came in to give us a talk about the place and to encourage us to make donations. We are happy to help because it’s a good cause and for many of us dire straits are too recent to even be called a memory. What bothered me is that he brought along a group of residents. Cute kids, all under eight, in little Santa hats. Almost enough to even make me go, “Awwwww!” Except I saw them as they were being used: Props to make us dig deeper, their dignity left at home so their puppet masters could get a few more bucks out of us. I have no problem with an adult making a conscious decision to play on the sympathy of others, but these were little children, too young to realize their roles in this play, and too young to know that their misfortunes were being laid out before a group of strangers.

My family has had its share of bad times, but my wife and I tried to shield our children from the knowledge that we were poor, at least until they could understand it. These kids are in that home because their own parents could not protect them, and here their keepers opened the robe to show us Ignorance and Want as zoo exhibits, effectively saying right in front of them, “Look upon them! Their parents were addicts and whores but WE lifted them up. Aren’t they cute?”

This sort of Pathos Porn is too common at this time of year. We should take care of others all year long and not need people to use the misfortunes of innocents as a pry bar to open our hearts. I’m Pitting the people with the pry bars and the people who need prying, but I especially hate the gawpers who eat this shit up and beg for more. The people who cannot see enough of other people’s misery. The people for whom so much of this holiday season is aimed in a banquet of pain, from sad real orphans to glurgy made for TV movies. You know, grandmothers. God, I hate them.

2

Agreement…

Now and then, I’ll see street-corner panhandlers…with little kids. I feel much the same way you do.

Okay, yeah, maybe they really are totally homeless, and have no place to put the kid at all. Maybe. (But in that case, I’d say the kid should be taken away by children’s protective services.) Either way, having a kid sitting out on the street corner as a “prop” for panhandling is repugnant.

Certain other panhandlers do the same thing with little dogs. Sheesh.

3

Even worse than that was kids 5 or younger out selling crap on the streets in Cabo San Lucas at 11pm or later. I know the people living in that area are dirt poor, but I really felt bad for those kids.

4

You have to run a whole gauntlet of that when crossing from Mexico into the U.S. The street vendors and beggars line up alongside the waiting cars for a good half mile, and it is not at all uncommon for kids to be tapping on your car windows for attention.

(The good news is that they are actually fairly restrained. Tapping on your window is about the worst of it.)

5

I understand where you people are coming from, but I suspect the showing off of these kids gets results. And the people doing it may be figuring that being too young to understand being used to crassly manipulate people also means being too young to be scarred by it. Even a child understands that you can’t eat dignity.

6

I agree completely with the OP, while admitting that it does probably work. Sometimes, the appeal is so bad that you can’t even bear to see it. This is the “Two Girls and a Cup” of Pathos Porn to me. When it comes on TV, I have to go do something in another room, even though I fully support the organization behind it.

7

There was one set to Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” that I would run like hell from seeing again, and I support the SPCA local chapter.

In general I oppose kids being used as props, but I also suspect that the kids got a day out and some little reward, plus a glimpse of people living lives that are much different from that which is their “normal”, so there are a few side benefits to it.

8

This is the major reason why I am so bah humbug about the whole season. TV and the internet are crammed with disfigured/starving/homeless kids and pets, all with the same message - if you don’t donate, you are heartless. Doesn’t matter if I don’t know anything about the particular charity, doesn’t matter if I already donate, hell it doesn’t matter if I know that the charity in question is just a giant money maker for their 1%.

I’m pretty quick with the mute on the TV remote.

9

Clearly, my Conviction score is higher than my Compassion.

10

Yeah, it’s not a great job, but it’s indoors, you get to sit, and you don’t get splattered with hot grease. And it’s attainable for a kid who has aged out of the system.

But quit making me see both sides. :mad:

11

I worked for eight years for a non-profit organization that served behaviorally disordered kids. It was a residential facility; the kids had been taken from their parents for a variety of reasons and were in the system due to their mental health issues. So not only are these kids raised in poor, drug-addicted, abusive homes, but they struggle with a variety of biological issues (depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, ODD, etc) of their own.

Our board of directors wanted us to select the cutest of the cute (we did routinely have some cute young kids) to send to a fundraiser they were having. Not to participate in the fundraiser, mind you (which was a black tie, silent auction, eight-course-meal affair), but to STAND OUTSIDE ALONG THE ROAD HOLDING UP THANK-YOU SIGNS FOR THE DONORS TO SEE AS THEY DROVE UP. This was in the middle of (affluent) Atlanta, at night, in December. Those of us who actually worked with the kids were mortified at the thought, but our hands were tied. We did manage to convince our president to shell out some money to send the kids out for dinner at Ryans after they prostituted themselves.

So I’m totally with the OP.

12

You wouldn’t be the first to feel that way:

[QUOTE=Charles Dickens]
‘Are there no prisons?”

‘Plenty of prisons,’ said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.’And the Union workhouses.’ demanded Scrooge. ‘Are they still in operation?’

‘Both very busy, sir.’

‘Oh. I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course,’ said Scrooge. ‘I’m very glad to hear it.’

‘Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude,’ returned the gentleman, ‘a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for?’

‘Nothing!’ Scrooge replied.

‘You wish to be anonymous?’

‘I wish to be left alone,’ said Scrooge. ‘Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don’t make merry myself at Christmas and I can’t afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned-they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there.’

‘Many can’t go there; and many would rather die.’

‘If they would rather die,’ said Scrooge, ‘they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”
[/QUOTE]

13

Did I gainsay the value of giving at all? I only spoke against whoring out actual children to pump up the donations. You will note that Scrooge’s guests did not drag along any ragamuffins to gain his sympathy.**

bobkitty**, that is a horrifying story.

14

I could see bringing the children to lunch, give them a treat and introduce a touch of the reality of the children’s lives to the donors. It would have to be done carefully, but it could be done respectfully. However,

is just appalling. It is truly like something out of Dickens, but it brings to mind the carriage running down the child in “A Tale of Two Cities”.

15

Interestingly, the Dickens story is one of those times where I was okay with it. No one in the story was doing what they were doing in order to try and convince Scrooge. He just saw them going about their daily lives. And the ghosts weren’t pressuring him to do anything but change his outlook, not trying to get him to pay money to some cause.

Most pathos porn seems like emotional manipulation in order to make money or get something for themselves. Dickens story used it on Scrooge to make Scrooge himself better, to improve his life.

16

Beggars certainly do get more money if they have a dog, but that’s less an indictment of them than the givers. They also keep a dog for protection, companionship and warmth, the fact that it earns them more money is an added bonus.