Paul Cellucci doesn't get it. How sad.

The US ambassador to Canada doesn’t understand why Canadians don’t support Bush’s missile defense scheme.

Why the fuck should we care what you idiots decide to do with your antimissile peashooters, Paul? It’s not like you can hit any incoming missiles that aren’t planned for months in advance. Even those you seem to miss most of the time. If you don’t understand why most Canadians don’t support missile defense, you are seriously unqualified to be anybody’s ambassador to Canada.

Oh, and just a suggestion, but you might want to stop acting like an opposition MP. “Cellucci offers wish list for our military” “Canada’s tsunami response too slow: Cellucci” “Cellucci suggests Canada adopt foreign policy to complement the US” “Spend more on spies, soldiers, Cellucci urges” “US ambassador criticizes Cdn. defence spending” " All headlines from this month alone pulled off a Google News search for ‘Cellucci’. For your consideration - note especially (2):

diplomacy n. 1 : the art and practice of conducting negotiations between nations 2 : skill in handling affairs without arousing hostility : TACT


Um… look. As an American I agree that the whole missile deffense thing is a pie in the sky project. There is no way in Hell we can make that work wih current technology. But

Don’t you think you are being a bit touchy?

An ambasodor isn’t a high official. And maybe, just maybe, SDI might be viable in fifty years. He’s simply pressing for a program that, if it ever works, would cover the entire North American continent. And trust me, the SDI thing is neither a priority, nor well funded.

My advice is to shrug you shoulders, say “yeah, whatever, Celluci”, and move on.

It’s a non issue.

I concur with you…Paul Cellucci is a moron,who isn’t qualified to run a hot dog stand. How did he get to be ambassador? This points up the whole weakness of the political system of handing out jobs in the American government. Prior to being Governor of Massachusetts (he became governor when William Weld left office), mr. Celluci’s greatest achievement in life was selectman for the town of Hudson, MA.
Oh, and runnning up $400,000 in bills on his credit card.
So, Canadians, enjoy your time with this boob…consider yourself lucky that you didn’t get somebody even MORE stupid than Paul Cellucci!

ralph, bite your tongue. Cellucci is reportedly coming to the end of his tenure as Ambassador and I shudder to think what kind of clown the current US admin. will foist off on us next. Especially when they’re in a pissy and vindictive mood.

Monkey, I don’t think most Americans appreciate the magnitude of the missile defense issue in Canada. In the US it’s seen as just another expensive boondoggle but up here the issue is extremely controversial has taken on nationwide significance. National sovereignty issues, military funding, continental security and trade issues all raise their ugly heads when the topic of missile defense is broached. Cellucci is just stirring up more shit now that the US didn’t get what it wanted.

Not that this is anything new, however. I’d wager most Canadians are sick to death of his hectoring pronouncements and thinly veiled threats. I doubt the Canadian Ambassador to the US could get American media coverage if he paid for it, but up here, everytime Cellucci farts, it gets front page coverage.

Sadly, he seems to fart an awful lot.

You’re right. Most Americans don’t appreciate how big this thing is in Canadian politics. Me Included. In all seriousness, why is this important? I honestly don’t know.

I’m not looking for debate with this post. This post is more like a GQ. Why do Canadians view SDI as a national sovereingty issue? (I think I can almost answer that myself, but I want the Canadian viewpoint) And what does it have to do with Canadian military funding or trade issues?

That Cellucci is an ass. He pisses me off everytime he opens his mouth. Let’s just hope we get a better replacement.

In other news the Vatican ambassador to Canada decried easy access to abortion, the Cuban ambassador called capitalism a stain on humanity while calling for increased trade and investment and the Russian ambassador urged Canada to stop the growth of NATO. Canadians across the country were initially deeply dismayed to see ambassadors advocating the interests of their countries of origin but then realized that it is their FUCKING JOB and got over it.

::snort, chuckle::


What exactly does that mean? What would a better repalcement do differently? Not say anything at all?

It’s their job to advocate the interests of their country diplomatically you dumb fuck. By advocating the interests of your country in a ham-fisted and obtuse fashion, Mr. Cellucci has actually frustrated the interests of your country, which is not his job at all. He is, in short, completely unqualified to be a diplomat. If he had the least bit of competence, he would keep the stronger elements of his advocacy behind closed doors when meeting with our various elected officials, and would in public only say something like “The US government regrets that Canada will not be participating in the missile defense program, but we will of course respect that decision.”

Moreover, it is not his job to act in public as if he were a Canadian politician. He’s constantly in the press railing against our government’s decisions as if he were someone with standing on the matter. Sorry bub, you may advocate your position, but in the end you don’t have a say, and it’s damned annoying that you keep acting like you do. You will note the congruity between this stance and the backlash against various foreign comments re: who Americans should vote for in your recent presidential election.

We’re cowboys, baby. With the top let back and the sunshine shinin’.

That’s nice. I hadn’t realized cowboys drove around in convertibles, but whatever.

Oh, and by the way, real cowboys leave the hammer down on an empty chamber so that they don’t inadvertantly shoot themselves in the foot when their horse starts. You may want to take lessons, because it must hurt to have such gunshot-ridden feet. Or are you so numb you just don’t feel it anymore?

Whoa, ease back the hammers on your shooting irons there, tiger. How about we go to the tape?

And now the other shoe drops

Yep, noted. Got it. Loud and clear. It’s O.K. for for those outside the U.S. to comment regarding who should govern America, but it’s not O.K. for those inside the U.S. to comment on what they think Canadian policy should be.

Pot, have you met kettle?

That said, why do you care so much what Cellucci says, anyway? Our gifted diplomats go to places like China, Russia, or Syria. They have actual work to do there. This is the U.S. and Canada we’re talking about. We have the largest unguarded border on the planet. We’re allies. Fer Christ sakes man, we Americans don’t listen to what our “ambasador” says to Canada. He’s probably an old fraternity brother of dubya. He is low, and I mean low in the power structure.

Anything important between our two nations doesn’t even cross his damn desk. Because you’re such close allies, it’s handled by the Cabinet. Celluci may be an idiot, I don’t know, but he has no power whatsoever. We respect you - believe that. If Celluci says something stupid, roll your eyes, shrug your shoulders, and move on.

Lighten up, Francis.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve always been under the distinct impression that ambassadors don’t normally conduct a great deal of ‘diplomacy’ by saying nasty things about their host country in its newspapers.

Don’t they usually say these sorts of things to a country’s leaders in private, then come out and say that they had a “frank discussion” of their differences, or something of that sort?

Just trying to get a fix on what an ambassador’s “fucking job” normally is, and whether or not Cellucci’s conduct constitutes an unusual departure from that.

Why don’t you find somewhere where I’ve expressed the view that I think I ought to have a say in how the US is governed, hmm? I’ll be right here, waiting. :wally

Incidentally, I don’t have any problem with foreigners commenting on what they think Canadian policy should be. What I have a problem with is foreigners behaving as if they have a say. I comment freely on American politics, but I don’t put my views forward as someone who has standing, but just as an observer. The difference should be reasonably clear. Cellucci hasn’t been doing this. He’s been behaving as if he has standing when he does not. There’s also a reasonably substantial difference between Joe Schmo from Podunk, IN expressing his views, and the principle spokesperson for the US government in Canada. I’d have thought that sort of difference would be obvious to observers with more than two synapses to rub together.

Anyways, if your ambassador is really so insignificant, you might want to tell him to shut the fuck up, because he isn’t doing you any favours. Trust me, I usually do just roll my eyes and ignore him. Pity our media doesn’t.

Just to clarify: by “these sorts of things,” I mean the sorts of things that Cellucci has been saying in the Canadian press.

Is it me, or our friends to the north acting a little more uppity than usual? I think we should invade before they try to blame mad cow disease on us again.

Better hope we don’t hand you your asses in a sling like the last time you tried that stunt.