This takes me back to when I was working and I use to cook for people. I had to make one important rule: “Don’t try to help.”
I could give several examples but the one this post brought to mind was the guy who tried to help by adding the noodles to the pot. Yes, I was going to serve it with noodles. But I was going to cook the noodles in water not in the marinade. And while the noodles were cooking, I was going to reduce some of the marinade down to a sauce. And then add the sauce to the noodles after draining the water. But thanks to the unsolicited “help” I received I ended up with soup instead. And not very good soup.
If I am having guests, instead of going by memory I will print out a dinner package - all the recipes formatted as a list of what to do to what and when, and if someone wants to help, I will give them tasks to do in single steps [wash this pot, fill it with 3 measured quarts of water using this measuring cup, put it on that burner at this temp setting and put this lid on the pot.] I rarely will let someone just wander into the kitchen and grab something to do. I do actually have a number of friends who will come over and grab their own task off the list because they actually can cook, and know my kitchen and habits. It is fun cooking with people who know what they are doing and are comfortable in your kitchen.
Ha! How did I miss this when it was new? Speaking of canned peas - I was watching an episode of one of the Hoarders shows, don’t remember if it was TLC’s or A&E’s. Anyway this girl made “dinner” for herself and her mom. It was: Hot pasta added to bowl. Large gobs of Miracle Whip added to hot pasta. Add can of peas. Mix and eat.
It looked to me like something Paula would put in her cook book.
One of the last straws in letting my Southern Living subscription go several years ago was a recipe for berries and yogurt. Yes, they actually printed a recipe for cutting up strawberries and topping them with a dollop of yogurt mixed with honey. If they want to suggest that as a side dish, fine, but come on. A recipe? I couldn’t believe how far they’d dumbed down that magazine. I’d had a subscription since college, too.
Heh. I was raised by WASPs. What you call “a hot version of half the cold “pasta salads” out there,” we call casserole.
Of course, it’s missing a can of cream o’ mushroom and a can of tuna, and the Miracle Whip should be mayonnaise, but we’re still in the ballpark of a casserole.
Possibly an urban legend, but supposedly one of the big canners (Del Monte or Libby’s) received letters of complaint when they removed the cooking instructions from their canned peas.
Also, the label on the can probably doesn’t tell you to add butter (and certainly not that much).
If you’ve had English mushy peas, you know it’s a lot like having pea soup without the liquid. Quite tasty, actually.
I remember watching Paula make corned beef and cabbage (a favorite dish of mine!) one day. She started out, “First, you open a can of corned [“bully”] beef…”
If you’ve never had bully beef, it’s the stuff that the POWs at Luft Stalag III ate during WWII. Not all that bad in and of itself, but far from marinated brisket!
On another occasion, a business partner’s Russian “secretary”* fixed lunch for us. She boiled spaghetti and then dumped in an entire jar of Uncle Ben’s curry sauce (back when Uncle Ben was quite the rage in Russia). Never had anything like it before, and can’t say I’ve had anything like it since.
*Actually, she was screwing him in exchange for free business management lessons. Had to take off to visit her son in Siberia whenever his wife came to Moscow.
I disagree about the mayo, though. Hold the mayo and add a can of Cream of Celery soup instead. And some pimientos and frozen peas. And use egg noodles, not durham wheat pasta!
Tuna with pasta, peas, and mayo is pasta salad, served cold at summertime picnics and to after-funeral gatherings. I like mine with a little chopped white onion, too…
I’m sure she is a very nice person, but with the close camera work and the wide angle lens that clip looks like it should be titled Jaba the Hut Cooks.
