Hmm. I just realised that my post is really kind of pointless nonsense. Please ignore at your own discretion. :o
-PIGEONMAN-
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Shadow of the Pigeon -
Weirdo of the Night
Of course it’s poitless nonsense. You used the ambiguous term “minor”. 
Pedophiles are not just acting on ‘sexual’ desires toward children. It is also about power, you can’t separate those because too many think castration will ‘cure’ pedophilia, and that is why it won’t.
I’m a victim of childhood sexual abuse. What I believe he found exciting was my inability to say ‘no’. It was a secret which made it that much more titillating, for him, and devastating for me.
I don’t think there is a ‘cure’ in the sense people drawn to overpower the helpless will stop wanting to do that. The program that I saw once on a tv news show was the perpetrators facing now adult child abused victims( NOT their own victims ) and really listening to the PERSON, which is what the pedophile loses, concentrating only on their own desires. It is facing basically growing up and taking control over the fact they hurt others.
I think prevention is the key, listening to your kids. I’ve probably been an overprotective parent because of my past, and yet, I find myself amazed at how many parents let their kids go with people they don’t know anything about other than some activity they may have in common. ‘He’s Johnny’s coach!!’ as if that explains anything relevant.
Pedophiles know who to target and unless we understand that and know how to reach those kids first,then we lose so much. This tears at the soul like no other kind of abuse.
I would like to know why there has been such an increase in pedophiles – in all their various forms. Are the ones who target teens the result of a fear of contacting AIDS from older women? Why has there not been a major psychological study of potential therapy and treatment for the victims of this obviously virtually uncontrollable mental disease? Are psychiatrists afraid to be met with public rage and outcry if they dare publish anything making such people anything but the desired devils and evil demons the public and news media wishes to perceive them as?
Does this affliction go along with the sudden increase in homosexuality – both male and female (lesbian) forms? (In my opinion, the homosexual condition is 95% genetic with a small 5% being due to various psychological causes.) Even so, it is difficult to determine just how many homosexuals existed in the past because, unless they were powerful and famous, they tended to remain ‘in the closet.’)
History shows acceptance of various forms of pediophilia and even current forms of pornography display an ‘accepted’ form of ‘play’ opposite sex pediophilia with women dressing up and acting like teens or little girls.
Things tend to get somewhat confusing. Why, I wonder, would a grown male risk facing public rage far worse that that usually reserved for homosexuals, race, murderers or rapists just to have sex with a child unless the urge is uncontrollable? Even in prison, their treatment by the other prisoners will be far worse than that reserved for serial killers, rapists or general murderers.
Currently, child molesters often kill their victims in an effort to avoid being caught, which increases the public rage and the efforts to find them along with the severity of their treatment when caught. What sane person would willingly risk such punishment? What drives them to these acts and why and is it genetic, psycho-social, a new form of psychosis or some strange form of compulsion?
(I think someone else posted on this subject along the same lines that I’m pursuing now, but I can’t recall who. That’s where I started thinking along these lines.)
Condemning convicted child molesters to a life of degradation and public suspicion by informing all where they are living does not always work. (I find this action curious because one may no longer be quarantined, like years ago, for measles or mumps and when AIDS showed up, and no one knew how it was spread, children with it sued to remain in public schools and won. They could not be discriminated against even though they carried a potentially lethal ‘plague’ for which no cure has been found BUT child molesters may be ostracized and forbidden to live within miles of a school.)
Aside from mass execution of the afflicted ones, what options do we have to cure this seemingly increasing ‘plague’? Currently, it seems that any potential cures are being pushed under the rug.
Granted there is a strong sexual urge or desire that often pops up in adult men and women for teens, but that is recognized and can be based somewhat on the simple observation that teens are in the height of their sexuality, designed so by nature and are probably not only unknowingly giving off signals, but pheromones as well. In many lands and in several belief systems, wedding a teen was considered acceptable and, in some places, still is. In some places, a woman just out of puberty is expected to have a child before being considered as wife material.
Much more research needs to be done to find the causes. A normal, mature person of ANY age would find their sexual desire squelched by an upset and crying child they were trying to seduce. This, however, seems not to affect the pedophile. (Even your general rapist tends to stick to adults or young adults though he is usually not affected by tears of fear.)
What about incest? There have been willing participants in incest over the years and in some isolated communities even today, incest still goes on. (There is a Middle Eastern Tribe of Bedouins who have the tradition of marrying within the group, keeping others out, so that everyone is related and birth defects have become common. Those ‘jokes’ about the ‘hillbillies’ were based in reality here in America.)
There are, of course, pornographic materials dealing with incest.
So, where does the study of a potential cure begin? If we manage to stop the news media from pouring gas on the fires of rage and inflaming child molestation episodes in an effort to decrease the public’s desire for severe punishment, that might drop the incidents of killing the young victim to hide the crime and might encourage the pedophiles to come foreword for treatment. However, I am not ignorant enough to think that such a concept would be generally accepted by the public. They would, perhaps rightfully, see only an increase in child molestation’s.
I do feel that we need to start following up on the reports of missing children, who are most often considered abducted for sex. I can find all forms of places dealing with these children when they are snatched, but few willing to go into much detail concerning who has been found, where and why and in what condition.
Like how many kids ‘vanished’ as runaways and where were they found? How many were parental abductions and where were they found? How many were actual sexual abductions and where were they found?
Currently if a child under 13 vanishes, the thought is that they have been abducted for sex and, from what I have observed, if not found within 24 hours, they either turn up dead or just vanish from the news and no one knows what happened. Some children have been found years later, in other States, held in some form of brainwashed captivity as a surrogate child or the ‘prisoner’ of a somewhat deranged parent.
Many turn up as runaways but not all of them are fleeing sexual abuse.
Why is the pediophilia concentrated mainly among the Whites, followed by the Mexican or Hispanic and then the African Americans? Why are there so few cases among Orientals – even though in some Asian countries child prostitution is accepted?
According to accepted rumors and street talk, the African-American girl is sexually active sooner than the Caucasian. Could that defuse a form of child abuse? In one of the Scandinavian countries, child pornography was, and might still be, legal BUT they had restrictions on age. The girl or boy had to be willing and had to be about 12 or 13, if I recall correctly. (I love porn, so I can recall years back in various magazines, the MANY ads to buy films of child sex from those countries and reading articles on how the porn industry was an accepted form of legal business over there.)
Again, why the sharp compartmentalization among the various races of the level of molesters? What about the rumors of the sudden desire of Japanese males for anything dealing with young teen girls clothing – preferably soiled panties and, last I read, even saliva. Yet, I have NOT been able to find statistics concerning their level of child molestation’s.
This all gets confusing. Our current way of treating child molesters is not effective. If it were, then the incidents would be dropping. They are not. Public demand for their blood barely slows their activities. I keep waiting for lawyers to start fighting the current registration and posting laws of convicted child molesters as civil rights violations. (There is a move in congress to start pulling the teeth of such laws.)
These laws are not working. Killing the molesters is not working either. People killed thousands of homosexuals in the homosexual revolution and that did not stop them at all. Homosexuals do NOT suddenly wake up and decide to become members of one of the most hated societies on Earth, but – omitting the various, temporary sexual psychosis – are born that way. A normal man finds sex with another, hairy, mouthy, rough skinned, stinky guy repellent – which is why men find lesbianism more acceptable. Even women, when poled, find lesbianism more accept
‘Molest’ means to ‘disturb’ or ‘annoy.’ It’s one word often misused & not defined. To say so many people have been molested as children, well, what does that say?
In the USA, there are legal ways to do just about anything. If you can get her folks permission to marry, you can have sex with a 15 year old.
But then who hasn’t been disturbed or annoyed sexually as a child?
“Men are like parking spaces, the available ones are handicapped.”
As I posted earlier, psychotherapy has been shown to be an effective treatment in many cases. So if you think you have a problem, talk to a shrink, right?
Wrong.
In such cases, therapists are required by law to report such patients to the police. Doctor/patient confidentiality does not apply in this case. A person that fears that they might be a pedophile have nowhere to turn for help.
So where do we begin? By changing that silly law, I would think.
tdn,
‘So where do we begin? By changing that silly law, I would think.’
I’m not sure I understand this. Do you mean the law that prohibits child pornography? Or making pedophilia just a ‘minor misstep in judgement’??
I think what tdn means is to change the law that requires reporting by professionals.
But do pedophiles ever want help before they act on their desires? I don’t know.
Good point, though. If a pedophile did want help, where could he go? Is it possible that we’ve shut the door to a possible means of prevention in some cases?
Peace,
mangeorge
I only know two things;
I know what I need to know
And
I know what I want to know
Mangeorge, 2000
Yes, that is what I meant. And FWIW, I agree with your other comments as well.
That word “ephebophilia” is a very useful one. I’m 18 - technically (and factually, I hope) an adult. If I were attracted to someone as young as 16, I would probably have no reservations about trying to get them to have sex with me. I really don’t think that makes me a pedophile. To my mind, a pedophile is interested in children, not teenagers.
As long as my sexual experience is being batted about, some further details may be helpful: the “substantially older man” (now my best friend) was in fact 21 when I was 16. And I initiated the sex, although he did tell me later he had been giving me signals. And it wasn’t a “fairly positive event.” It was an EXTREMELY positive event.
By the way, as a comparative thing, it may interest you to know the legal age laws in Canada. IIRC, according to the Criminal Code, legal age in Canada is as follows:
-14 for most forms of sex, provided that the older person is not in a position of trust, power, or dependency towards the younger person if the younger person is below 18;
-18 for anal sex.
If you must know, my sexual partners and I have never broken this law.
matt_mcl, I didn’t realize that Polycarp was referring to you with his thread, unless your comment;
‘as long as my sexual experience is being batted about.’
was only about your own post.
And no, I don’t consider an eighteen year old coming onto a sixteen year old necessarily a pedophile. I’d consider someone who did that, more than likely immature, he/she isn’t comfortable within their own peer group. Of course that is just IMHO, but your phrase;
‘I would probably have no reservations about trying to get them to have sex with me’
sounds like someone more interested in their own conquest and desires than true caring about someone.
“It took something like this to make the Miss America Pageant look good to me.” Patricia Ireland on the TV show 'Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?"
Good grief! Matt, my sincere apologies for your misapprehension I was tarring you with the “pedophile brush” in bringing your name up in this context.
What I was attempting to do when I made reference to the incident you had spoken of as your first sexual experience some months ago in MPSIMS was to draw the distinction between ephebophilia (thanks, Tracer, for the word) and true pedophilia. I never intended to call either you or your friend a pedophile, but to imply, by the example you gave, that there are at least some adult-adolescent (at age 16, you were legally an adolescent, and presumably emotionally one as well) sexual relationships that were non-traumatic and positive.
I would presume that no pre-puberty encounter could be classified as “extremely positive” as you described yours to be. To make the distinction so that a young adult who has a fully consensual sexual encounter with a healthy, relatively mature 17-year-old (using the U.S. age of majority of 18) someone a few years old does not get thrown into the same pot with a person who forces sex on a first grader.
—===—
I think I agree with the general trend of posts to date, that effective counseling on managing one’s sexual attractions may be the proper course to take with people afflicted with pedophilia. I know in that the one case which I encountered, the young man who molested his (preschool) neice was himself a victim of molestation, and had a moderate case of obsessive-compulsive disorder of which this was the sexual expression. (Therapy and caring got him to the point that he is now the happily married father of four*, a recovering alcoholic – he was an active one at the time – and holding a stable job. For the record, his older son is the child of another man; she had unloaded the creep while pregnant with the kid, and the young man in question fell in love with her and has been the functional father of the boy literally since birth.) While he is understandably loath to speak of the molestation incident, he did once share with me that he has the situation well under control – he almost never feels any desire towards a child, and can suppress it very effectively on the rare incidents he does.)
It occurs to me that what is needed, and almost imposible to devise, is some objective means of defining “maturity” in a case like this. I have known 15-year-olds who I would consider capable of making a mature, reasoned decision about their lives, including their sexual lives, and I have known 21-year-olds who were still immature in a socio-sexual context. To define any calendar age as “the age of consent” is simply to minimize the number of people who fall on the wrong side of the line in terms of age/maturity quotient.
Test
Dangit Poly, first it was Gaudy giving tests on God, now you are giving them on Pedophilia.
I cannot bear the pressure.
Stop the insanity.
Jeffery
Padding the post count whenever possible.
You know what I mean. I mean I would treat them equally to any other partner or potential partner. Anyway, this question about “true caring about someone” is an entirely separate debate over the ethics of casual sex, which I am not prepared to get into now.
Gosh, did I sound like you did? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to and I didn’t take offense at your words in any way.
…I couldn’t have said it better (except that I was actually 16 at the time). Thanks.
It may interest you to know that an acquaintance of mine has admitted that he is attracted to young boys. (He’s about 22 and he’s talking 13, 14 yo.) He’s painfully aware that to try to do anything with them would be wrong and he’s dealing with that. To my knowledge he’s never touched any boy.
Interestingly, I’ve read a fair amount of writing by people with pedophilic urges, and the tone is one of resignation to desires which they can never carry out, mixed with a healthy dose of sincere rage against people who would abuse children in any way.
Well, even that’s iffy. My peer group (and the circle in which I met my first sexual partner) has a fairly wide age range, and most of my friends are in fact a few years older than myself. (This may have to do with the fact that I skipped a grade in school and also started it early, but whatever.)
Still, a USA citizen having sex with anyone in any other country who is under 18 can be arrested. That’s a US law, too.
Even if the U.S. citizen has been living in this other country for 10 years?
Waitaminnit. I’m a US citizen, but I’ve never lived in the States. (My momma is an American so I have dual Can.-Amer. citizenship.) Does this law apply to me? Oh, wow… another reason to burn the bloody thing.