There is much on TV that strikes a cynical pose (House, certain aspects of Heroes) and much on TV that one can easily be cynical about (what is “The Mind of Mencia”, but half-German Ned Holnes, taking on the Bill Dana/Jose Jimenez-like persona of “Carlos Mencia” to ridicule the foibles of Mexican stereotypes?)
But what if we took it to extremes? Imagine yourself the cynic’s cynic, a miserable mistrustful individual who can not look upon any human activity without the deepest pessimistic suspicion. Suppose you have somehow been hired to compose the plot synopsis blurbs for TiVo/Cable Guides/TV Guide/what have you. What do you write?
CSI: Murder vicitims, as if they haven’t been through enough already, have their remains torn to bits by professional ghouls that have been deputized by local government.
I Love Lucy: Band Leader Ricky Ricardo (Dezi Arnaz) performs his nefarious duties as a stealth cultural PR pawn for the oppressive Battista regime, marrying a pitifully dim American (Lucille Ball) as a front.
Shining Time Station: Known drug addicts Ringo Starr and George Carlin relate their narcotics-addled hallucinations of personified mass transit to unwitting youth.
Well, there’s the old joke about The Wizard of Oz: “Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.” (This apparently originates with Rick Polito, a columnist for the Marin Independent Journal who specializes in tongue-in-cheek plot descriptions. Since he himself said he wrote it, I believe him.)
I was under the impression that the OP was actually more upset that you were the only one who wanted to play, rather than being upset at the quality of your post.
I wish I could add something to the game, but I got nothin’.
OK, I feel better now. I mean, as good as one can feel in a world that will one day witness its seas boiled away as the dying sun expands to fill the lifeless, blazing sky.
Monk: Bizarre homicide cases are relegated to an incompetent task force who depend on a neurotic mental patient consultant and his scatterbrained handler to keep their jobs.
Three’s Company: Three roommates struggle to maintain their identites and their lives despite being contantly oppressed by strict landlord controls, communication mishaps, and ambiguous sexual issues.
Sesame Street: Street vermin and dangerous animal puppets interact with poverty stricken children and second rate performers in an attempt to educate them within the malaise of Urban America’s underfunded school system.
Precisely. The reply was brilliant. It’s relative loneliness is what saddened me. Sorry for the pity party.
I thought the concept was surefire, and posting during lunch hour on the West Coast and relatively close to the end of the workday on the East, I thought it would take off like a shot.
But ain’t that the way, in a cruel and uncaring world? You can’t even count on the cynics to be cynical!
Gilligan’s Island: Two dim-witted salts and a corrupt college professor take advantage of a shipwreck to feign ignorance of navigation and engineering for years in a pathetic attempt to have their way with two nubile passengers in a tropical locale, while waiting in vain for the ungrateful relatives of a half-senile wealthy couple to pay a ransom.
The View: 5 women no one gives two shits and a shake about natter on numbingly each and every god damned day. Occasionally, one flames out in a blaze of veiled insinuations of “moving on,” “new opportunites,” and other such excuses to cover the fact that not only do WE not like them, they don’t like each other.
Semi-Homemade Meals with Sandra Lee: The stereotypes are true, if you are a thin, white woman with fake blonde hair and fake boobs, you too can get on television by opening cans of tuna.
Good Eats: In spite of executives best attempts to dumb down television until the populace is one step above maggots in intelligence, this stellar show has entered into the public eye with wit, intelligence, curiosity and enthusiasm all prominently displayed. Catch it before they catch on!
Kitchen Nightmares Why yes, this is just another way we can show you more irascible, passionate, scottish, skin. Take your shirt off again Gordon!
Just 'cause I’m a cynic, doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy myself.
Murder, She Wrote - An old lady mystery writer travels around, inciting murder wherever she goes.
The Dukes of Hazzard - Reasons are invented for a racist car to jump stuff.
The Ghost Whisperer - AKA “The Boob Whisperer.” 30 minutes of a halfway good ghost story, then 10 minutes of Lifetime, television for women."
Inspector Gadget - A 12 year old girl works as a secret agent by building a mechanical “uncle” to interact on her behalf with a counter terrorist unit employer.
