Penile fractures (TMI very much implied)

After an hour of tossing and turning in bed, I decided a little TV might put me on the road to 40 winks. Surfing through the channels, I came upon a program on the Discovery Health channel that was in the middle of some unknown surgery. I’m always curious to see what body part is the subject of a surgery, so I put the surfing on hold temporarily.

The program was all about penile fractures.

I learned three things:

  1. The phenomenon of penile fracture is so rare that the average urologist sees but five cases on average in his career. Still, that’s five cases too many as far as I’m concerned.

  2. A broken arm is more painful than a broken penis. Well, that’s what the urologist claimed. I’d rather hear an opinion straight from a guy who’s busted his willy and his arm before I take the urologist’s word for it.

  3. Programs about penile fractures will not aid your efforts to fall asleep. Conversely, you might find it even more difficult to fall asleep – especially if you’re male – after watching such a program.

Did he ask the nurse to sign his cast?

uh…huh huh huh…

Did they go into how one breaks the old fellah?

I just want to know how I’m supposed to uncross my legs at this point.

The Master speaks

I have a friend who did this about 6 years ago.
Fooling around with his girlfriend in the hot tub, got out to get a rubber, put the rubber on, and as he climbed back into said tub missed the step and drove his erection into the edge of the tub with the full weight of his body.
First time I’d ever heard of ‘soft tissue’ fracture.
The boys at the bar laughed at this one for weeks; “Hey! Did you hear (insert name) broke his dick!”