Congratulations on expanding your information to sources outside that forum, including actual women. Double congratulations if you actually listen to such women.
Speaking of which: how do you know those are even women? Plenty of bots on Tinder.
Even presuming that some of them are, and are actually looking for partners and not just for giggles:
One: they’re far from a complete sample.
Two: Lots of people who say they’re looking for tall, dark, and handsome end up screwing, loving, and marrying skinny, short, and bald – not as a desperate compromise, but because that’s the specific person who, in actual person, they found out that they wanted. Older people with more experience may be more likely to have consciously realized this; but if you just open your eyes and look around at couples seen in a wide variety of circumstances, you’ll see plenty of such combinations at any age.
In fairness to this post, the ones stating how it’s really all about a guy’s laugh, his personality etc. are not really answering which of these two ‘lesser’ issues is the relatively more important.
But I believe it’s about as obvious as anything could be that height is the more important of those by many times if ‘date’ means straight men seek out as many (not at the same time necessarily) attractive female partners for sex as possible. It’s still a relatively rare social setting where a women will know the guy’s penis size at square 1 and make a decision to even entertain his first line based on it. But she’ll see his height and there’s a huge advantage in pick up/hook up situations in being 6-4 over 5-7, other apparent characteristics equal. Saying ‘well if the 6-4 guy is a complete jerk with unbearable bad breath’ …but that’s not a logical comparison, why would we assume that? When you ask if X is important the logical assumption is ‘all else equal’. Or even close to equal when it comes to the obvious huge advantage tall guys have in casual pick up situations over short guys. That’s not reasonably debatable IMO no matter what anyone said on a previous thread.
If ‘date’ means build a long term relationship (perhaps marriage) then I think at the same time the arguments that neither height nor penis size are really important and an argument in favor of relative importance of penis size would both be more plausible. The latter because a particularly small penis could be a factor in a satisfying relationship in the long run, though much less often practically enters into getting sex in the first place. The former because even in the semi-rational game of romance people give more consideration to stuff like ‘do I want to be with this person the vast majority of life that isn’t composed of sex?’ when it comes to long term relationships.
Anecdote: About 90 minutes in to our first date, I had to assure my now-wife that the size of my penis was *not * proportional to my rather extraordinary height.
If it was, that would have been a deal-breaker.
I’ve also never had a woman say “Damn you’re tall, you must have a huge dick! Can I sit on it?!?!”
Three : Tinder is notoriously a one-night stand lookout app.
It’s not *exclusively *that, but that’s the reputation it has and a big reason people of both sexes log on it : for quick, meaningless fucks. Within that context, priorities get weighted differently and it’s not altogether surprising that “physically fit, chocolate bar abs, big strong dick” would get weighted higher than “Woody Allen-like sense of humour” by women - just like “pornstar tits” would get weighted higher than “kichen superhero” by men. If EVERYTHING about the prospective relationship is about fucking, then superficial fuck-related topics will perforce be more relevant than anything else.
And even if there are deeper, more important fuck-related topics than strict fitness & appearance (e.g. “does he know what to do with his tongue ?”) it’s not like you can take people’s word on it. So far, there isn’t a Yelp for cocks and/or vag (that I know of).
But when looking for something beyond “fuck 'em once and never learn their name” relationships (which, to my mind, is so utterly useless - you never fuck 'em right on the first night ! You don’t know how they work yet ! C’mon !), women will obviously look beyond those superficial criteria, much like men will for that matter. That’s where the “smart and makes me laugh” stuff comes into play. I mean *obviously *I’d prefer if the next girl I fall in hopeless retarded love with could suck my Adam’s apple all the way down - yet if she can only get it down to my lungs BUT she can make me laugh OR at least doesn’t roll her eyes when I’m talking at length about min-max D&D builds AND she can steam xiaolong baos worth a damn, we can still start talking shared flat.
In either case pornstar tits are absolutely surplus to requirements. I fully expect women are the same, although the sinful slatterns might be more lenient re:xialong baos. Which just demonstrates that women have no soul.
I’m well aware I’m not answering it. It’s an unanswerable question. Maybe at some point, one will become an issue because of physical logistics, but how we as a couple deal with anything has so many more nuances than that. I absolutely can not answer “tall* guy with small* penis or shorter* guy with large* penis?”
Extrapolating even further, these preferences can vary so much between women that it’s a waste of time for you guys to worry about them.
Nah, don’t worry about it. (Yes, I know you’re joking.) That’s not why I split up with either of them.
One was a lot more interested in another one of my friends. The other one was verbally abusive and trying to cut me off from my friends, in addition to various other sorts of obnoxious behavior.
This. Very much this.
We tend to assume that men have one. (If you don’t, mention this at some point before taking clothes off. Some women will mind, others won’t.) And we tend to assume that it probably works. (If yours doesn’t work at all in a sexual sense – by which I don’t mean that you’re worried about its size – and you’re trying to get into a relationship in which its working would be likely to be relevant, then mention this before getting too far along. Again, some women will mind, others won’t.) Some of us think they look neat, some of us think they look silly, very few of us care much about the details.
Corry El:
Cite please?
Even if true on average (and I really would like to see some cites before granting that – cites of actual success, not of people looking at pictures and given two pieces of information), it certainly isn’t true for anywhere near all women.
The first one wasn’t out of line – there was no cheating/dishonesty involved. Amicable breakup of a fairly early-stage relationship; these things happen.
The second found me resistant enough to his particular tactics that the damage done was mostly at annoyance level – though there sure was a lot of annoyance involved. Years later I started to see articles about red flags and verbal abuse and so on, and realized the escape I’d had.
Worth reiterating the point that physical preferences aren’t quite as simplistic as taller/bigger equals better.
I had a friend for a number of years that was very open about her sexuality. She was tiny …literally about 5’ and 95 pounds soaking wet. She had enough experience to know that no long term relationship was going to work with a man with a large penis. More vigorous sex was uncomfortable to painful for her otherwise. She didn’t want it to hurt or have to be careful and in control all the time. Can’t say I blame her.
Bluntly asking cock size was her way of playing with guys that hit on her before the rejection. They invariably went big. The confused look on their face when that got them shot down was priceless.
FWIW, this study of 60,000 people showed that very short men have a slightly lower number of sexual partners than taller men, but short, average height and tall men have nearly the same number (the two numbers are the mean and median number of partners):
Surprisingly, overweight men had more sexual partners than underweight or average weight men, but the weight categories are based on Body Mass Index which can classify people as overweight although a casual observers might not classify them as such.
I’ve never really understood the huge obsession some guys have with the idea that cock size is super important to women and their cock is too small. In all of my talks with women and genderqueer people with vaginas, penis size is rarely significant, and if it is ‘too large to be comfortable’ comes up way more than ‘too small’. There are a small number of ‘size queens’ out there, but it’s a small percentage with a specific fetish like the guys who have a fetish for really enormous (K+ cup) breasts, not a general trend. The vast majority of women won’t see a man’s erect penis until she’s already decided whether or not she wants to have sex with him, and will consider him showing it before that a deal breaker (no, dick pics are not a good idea). Also if someone does want a large cock, she can get silicone ones in larger sizes, more varied shapes, and more features (like vibration or inflation) than any flesh version can hope to match - that also never have trouble being ready or lasting as long as she wants.
My advice: stop hanging out in reddit forums with dudes who obsess over their cocks being small, it’s not an environment for getting a realistic or healthy perspective.
Why is that surprising? People in general tend to put on weight as they get older, so the ‘overweight’ category is likely to skew towards older men, who’ve had time to have more sex partners. Also it’s possible for a person to have a lot of sex partners in their 20s, then later settle down and put on weight, so most of the ‘number of sex partners’ wouldn’t be happening during the ‘is overweight’ phase. Also the ‘traditional wisdom’ is that women go for richer guys, and men that are older and heavier typically have more money overall. Even if there was a strong selection against overweight men, there are a lot of factors that would tend to skew the data in the observed direction.
It seems that only being very short poses a problem and not a major one. It’s interesting that as height increases, the difference between the mean and the median goes up. The taller the men, the more outliers have an impact. I wonder how much of that is driven by highly sought-after gay men who rack up 3 figures within their own subculture.
I wonder if they controlled for age. Older men tend to have more fat and being older would simply have given them more time to accumulate more sexual partners.
