As a cold and unemotional person I used to think drama was an unfortunate side effect of overemotional people(comparatively) they had to suffer through.
But you know…after a bit more of seeing the world…I’m beginning to think they actually like it and intentionally create it. I think their actions are calculated for maximum drama down the line, perhaps without them even being aware of doing it intentionally.
They fucking love the shit.
There are several phrases that come to mind:
Duh
No shit Sherlock
OMG! Someone alert the media!
How dare you slander me with such a claim!
Well, you get the drift. But guess what? I had that revelation myself once upon a time. I guess it’s supposed to be intuitive, but some of us need to figure it out or have it explained to us. But ever since I did figure it out I’ve been a lot more dramatic.
Yup. And when those who actually don’t love the drama take roles in it anyway, that just feeds it.
Don’t forget my personal favorite 
Thank you, Captain Obvious
But yes XD My sister in law is one of those who love the drama. But I don’t think she realizes that she’s intentionally inviting it. She revels in it, but at the same time can’t understand why these things always seem to happen to her.
If you’re just figuring this out now I assume you’ve never spent more than 5 seconds in the general area of groups of middle school girls, people with borderline personality disorder, bipolar people, jealous men or women, or watched any type of daytime talk show, judge show, or reality show. Just for a start.
Not that I would recommend doing any of these things if at all possible.
Yep.
Most often, the most dramatic are the ones who like to tell you how much they hate drama.
Man, we just got rid of an extreme case of drama-generator at work. It was exhausting just being in the same room with the hag, between the reports of life drama outside of work hours to the drama she generated while at work. Yes, most certainly, some people like it. Not only that, but some people seem unable to live without it.
In contrast, my home is my haven and most of the rare visitors have commented that while it’s no show case type of home there is a certain serenity present that is so often lacking elsewhere. This is because it’s a drama-free zone (for the most part) and the spouse and I take steps to ensure it stays that way. The drama-addicts find it boring and strange, the rest of us appreciate the quiet and calm.
I like that, Broomstick. A drama free home is key. We’ve tought our 17yr old daughter to think of her emotional energy as a gas tank. Quiet and calm fill her tank, drama drains it.
Right here. It seems like the amount of protesting about hating drama directly correlates to how much they stir up.
Welcome to the Dope.
And the people who always say “I don’t do drama” are the worst offenders.
A random comment here. You know all those TV shows filled with personal/interpersonal/work drama? To me they are kinda fun in a “how do you solve this problem?” kinda way. Problem solving can a fun mental exercise
OTOH I’ve often thought to myself I’d commit suicide or end up in prison for murder if my life was actually like that. One minor drama per year is about my personal tolerance level.
I guess barring truly horrible circumstances (a death, an illness, etc) there is some truth to what you say. My Mom used to be at the center of the drama in our family and we, including myself, absolutely fed into it. There was a time when I would spend hours on the phone trying to talk her out of suicide, or spend a lot of mental energy trying to fix issues between her and other family members. It took a long time to realize my role in it. It certainly wasn’t intentional, I certainly didn’t love it, it was just the only way I knew how to be. And to a certain extent I was comfortable with it, it fed into my sense of identity as a ‘‘good person’’ somehow.
Somehow or other I learned to let go. I still validate my Mom’s feelings, but my own feelings don’t get caught up in it the way they used to. She still lives in the middle of a lot of drama because of her choices, though things have improved a lot. Part of it, at least for me, was accepting, once and for all, that it’s not my damned responsibility. I don’t get to be the ‘‘fixer’’ anymore, or perhaps more aptly the ‘‘martyr,’’ but I do get to live my life in relative peace.
I’d say that, yes, most people love the drama. Especially in small towns where this isn’t much going on. It gives them something to talk about and gives them a feeling of superiority to others. It livens up their rather boring existence. I’ve noticed that people who love drama the most are the ones without a career or reason to exist other than to socialize in a negative manner.
This may be taking a figure of speech too literally, but you’ve hit the nail on the head for me. “Drama” isn’t just people being upset (much as I generally agree with the xkcd pov, this time I think he missed it). “Drama” is people creating *stories *and filling *roles *in those stories, and demanding others around them fit into neat little antagonistic roles, rather than being authentic, in the moment, and actually communicating with one another with an attempt to understand, be compassionate and find common ground upon which to build solutions.
I still have times when I’m upset. My husband and I may be upset with each other sometimes. But I’m far less likely to create drama nowadays, and far more likely to work with him to find solace or solutions to whatever’s making me upset.
Preach it.
My wife and I are the same way. We have both let go of friendships because of the drama. I ended a 21 year friendship with my best friend because of all his drama. Stupid things: cheating on his wife, got herpes, etc. I do not need that crap in my life. My wife ended a relationship with a good friend due to an overload of juvenile drama. It is sad it has to be this way, but we refuse to get into the mud with people who habitually make poor life decisions.
Our beautiful home is like yours, a drama-free zone. It is our nest, our retreat to our own peace, quiet and love. This is our sanctuary away from any drama or stress at work or with family.
Yay for the drama-free home! I am another person for whom drama is exhausting.
So, you just discovered reality TV?
I came from a drama-filled home and it took me a long time to get rid of it. All through my twenties I was a terrible girlfriend and I sometimes wonder how my SO stayed with me through all of that. (Answer: he really loves me.) As time went on and I grew, I began to finally let that go. It made all the difference that my SO is not dramatic at all.
It’s not even always that we like it, though sometimes we do. It’s just that we’ve often never been taught any other ways of dealing with things like adults. When you’re mad, of course you sulk and give them the silent treatment. We never saw our parents or our families talk it out calmly; where were we to learn such things? It was not for years that I began to be calm all the time and release some of the insecurity and found out how much more you can get done by being calm.
About 6-7 ago on my work review I got this comment, essentially: “Mika is always calm and even-tempered. She lets the stresses of the job just swirl around her and never gets upset or angry. She is a wonderfully calming influence on the job.”
That felt like a million bucks, I tell you. Not only that I had been working all this time to be mature, but that other people had noticed! It takes years of work, and you have to want it that way, and you have to have a non-drama filled home.