Please help me understand the difference, so I can decide which my boss is. Or are they really the same?
Mods: I’m assuming IMHO is the place for this, since definitions of these terms will be quite subjective, but if I’ve judged wrongly, kindly move this thread where it belongs with my thanks.
Well, here’s my take. Drama queens overdramatize everything. They tend to say, “OH, MY GOD!!!” and “I’M FREAKING OUT!!!” an awful lot. Everything is in capital letters with these people. Attention whores, on the other hand, will do anything to draw attention to themselves, or make themselves the central actor in every situation.
Of course, nothing stops an attention whore from being a drama queen, and vice versa. There is definitely some overlap, though the two things are not exactly one and the same.
Hmmmm… I’d say drama queens take situations that come up, and turn them into OMIGOD THE WORLD IS GOING TO END.
Attention whores create situations to get attention, they don’t just overdramatize real things.
Ah, that’s good, amaranta - then she’s definitely a Drama Queen (though she prefers the title Princess :rolleyes: ). Thanks.
Drama Queens also manipulate other people into huge fights because they love the drama. They don’t need to be the star of the drama, they just need it to be going on around them.
My friend’s roomate is basically both of these traits put together into one person. Everything is a disaster for her, and the infuriaiting thing is that most things she puts on herself than suddenly becomes impotent about dealing with it. I’ve gone on many a rant about this person, and how much I hate the fact that my friend doesn’t kick her to the curb. Example of attention whoring/drama queening:
A group of us were going to go out to eat. All of us were very hungry, and had decided on a restaurant. Roomate didn’t want to go because her stomach hurt and she felt sick. But then she suddenly wanted to go to the coast with her boyfriend (to throw up in the ocean maybe? fuck if I know) This had me rather surprised because it is a 45 minute drive. My friends and I are just about to leave when there’s a problem! As she was getting ready while her boyfriend was on his way, she couldn’t find her driver’s license. She was in a total panic, and no amount of rationization would calm her down- meanwhile we are STARVING and she is guilt tripping the hell out of my friend into staying to help her find her license. I had a strong hunch I knew where it was- in her wallet in another pocket (that’s where it was the last time this has happened. And yes, this has happened before). She was grateful, but given the obvious spot we found it in, I couldn’t help but think that she ‘conveniently’ lost her wallet.
What about drama queens who are also attention whores in addition to being little princesses?
Is there a word for that?
Dratenntionsesses.
My first instinct is that the primary difference is in how crude the person doing the describing is. “Whore” is not a word that all of us use frequently.
On the other hand, I think perhaps there is a difference between reacting with unneccessary drama to everything and trying too hard to get other people’s attention, which seems to be a distinction others are making as well.
Drama Queens like chaos. They enjoy being miserable. If there isn’t a problem in their life, they will create one. They date inappropriate men and they bitch about how miserable they are.
Attention Whores don’t need the chaos, they just need everything to be about them. They are the ones that you say “I met a new guy…” jump in with “Did I tell you Brad called me, and he wants to get back together. Well, he didn’t say back together exactly, but we are going out Friday night. He is such a great guy, and so cute. Do you think he really wants to get back together for real or do you think he just doesn’t have a date Friday?”
Princesses believe the world revolves around them. They don’t even listen to you saying you met a guy, because that isn’t within the realm of their possibility. They respond to “I met a guy” with “did I tell you I bought a new scarf?”
Attention whores will also mutilate themselves to get attention, or sometimes their kids. Hospitals have security tapes of adults hurting the kids and then calling personnel to the bed so they can be praised for their attentiveness.
The drama queen can’t do anything discretely, and only a Los Vegas show can compete. The Iliad is a one day trip retold by a Greek drama queen. Napoleon was an attention whore.
Robin Williams is both.
That’s a “Stupid Bitch.”
Or “Gigantic Pain in the Ass.”
Zebra hit the nail on the head!
Darn, I thought this was going to be one of those Godzilla vs. the Loch Ness Monster, who would win? type of threads.
So, okay, I’m going to describe a woman of my acquaintance, and I want to know your assessment of her: drama queen, attention whore, or plain old psychobitch?
This woman is a single mother. She’s divorced; by her account her husband was verbally abusive in the extreme, and continues to be a problem in her life. She suffers from depression and possibly has had a hard time getting her medication dosage right (or cannot afford it, I’m not clear on this).
So, she plays on an online text based game. She plays a number of characters, all female, and most of whom are forever seeking a romantic relationship with someone. As soon as she secures such a relationship for her character, she becomes insanely possessive. Her partner must always greet her when she is online. Her partner must always include her in roleplayed scenes. Always. Every scene. If her partner happens to want a little variety, or just to play something with someone else, she begins berating them. These berate-sessions can last an hour, and generally include: accusations of neglect, expressions of anguish at being left out, wails of being mistreated, and sooner or later, “You’re just like my ex-husband!” Attempts to inform her that her behavior is out of line will get you an accusation that you are condescending and insulting, and that she will not stand for it. If the partner disconnects the character being berated, and connects with a different character, that character will be identified and begin receiving more of the same. If the partner attempts to ignore this, and goes to play with other people, his screen will be filled with this stuff until he can’t even play. If he logs out and comes back five hours later and she’s still online, it will begin again. Also the next day.
If the partner “breaks up with her” in character to get away from this out-of-character (and they always do, because nobody puts up with this for very long), the next female character he moves on to will be accused of ‘stealing’ him from her. Hostility will commence from all her characters, to all characters of the ‘stealing’ player. She has a very long memory.
All scenes of the non-romantic variety seem destined to turn into big arguments where she is the injured party, and nobody wants her around, and everybody hates her, and anything you say will be used against you without benefit of a court of law. Frequently this turns into being yelled at out-of-character as well, for what happens in-character.
So, what would you call her? Other than ‘obviously unhappy, and trying to heal an injury in her emotional self with an inappropriate bandage’?
Esprix?
I kid, I kid …
I’m not a mental health professional, but I’d vote psychobitch. From your description, this woman has a personality disorder/problem of some sort which is influencing her ability to function daily in a negative way, and causing most people to dislike her and avoid her. And she appears unable to recognize her extreme behavior for what it is.
I work on a committee with an Attention Whore. We’ll have an agenda for a meeting and she’ll come in with “new information” she’s down loaded off the web and completely de-rail the meeting. She flirts shamelessly with the men on the committee. Except one guy whom she claims was abusive to her (turns out he didn’t agree with something she said and told others about it. Never said anything negative about her, just didn’t agree with an approach she was taking to one issue. Very tame stuff). Basically, if the group isn’t talking about Kim’s idea or reacting to Kim in some way - Kim ain’t happy.
I’m chairing a sub-group of this committee which is staging a conference. All last week as this was being planned she’d throw out unfounded objections and suggestions on how the thing could be improved (in summary -do it her way). I had to keep bringing us back on track. I must have said “Right now, we’re just trying to determine the date for the conference” about 15 times.
At another meeting she once remarked that she has no close female friends, and that puzzles her. It didn’t puzzle me one little bit, but I joined all the other females in the room in murmering a noncomittal “Mmmm.”
Sounds like someone suffering from Historonic or Borderline Personality Disorder. I guess that’s a nicer of saying, yes, she sounds like a “psychobitch”.
Now, if Kim were (according to my own definitions) a drama queen, she would create a crisis and not just need to be the center of attention. Running a conference, she torpedos the relationship with the hotel (perhaps without realizing she is doing it) so that the contract doesn’t get signed and you look for a new hotel. Or she forgets to get the conference materials printed so there is a last minute scramble to find someone who can get them all printed in 24 hours.
But Chotti, you are describing a psychobitch. If her relationships existed IRL, she would be the sort of woman the court has a boilerplate for issuing restraining orders against. It surprises me that she is allowed to keep an account on the game.