When I think about “manliness”, I consider my former boss, who did funny car competition on weekends. When he showed people how to use the machinery, he illustrated the art of jogging stacks of product into register and putting the right amount into the unit – too much and it would stall, too little and it would bounce and misbehave.
He was not burly or “macho”, but he was a manly man, as much as whatever that should mean. This Hermes dude seems to view “manliness” as an artless state where the only emotions a man should feel are arrrgh and horny.
I was thinking about this thread the other day. My son had a lacrosse game in a “less gentrified” neighborhood of Jersey City. During the game my daughter wanted to hang out on the nearby playground, which was predominantly black kids of various ages. They did seem older and more matured than white children of an equivalent age. But I would guess a main reason for that is they spend more time outside being active and less supervised.
Like there was this one toddler that looked like a little tiny minnie me version of the rapper Coolio who was absolutely adorable. But I’m also wondering if it isn’t a little sad for a child of that age to have more adult mannerisms.
?? What does it mean for a toddler to “look like” a famous rapper? Do you just mean that the kid had a bunch of little braids? Or that they were dressed in a replica of a well-known Coolio outfit, or what?
Little kids nowadays tend to wear similar styles of clothing to what adults in their lives wear for informal/everyday occasions, and a lot of Black adults wear hip-hop-influenced fashion. I would be really hesitant to jump to the conclusion that any of this means that the little kids in question are inappropriately acquiring “adult mannerisms” at too early an age. I would also be hesitant to assume that I could accurately tell the ages of a bunch of unfamiliar kids in an unfamiliar neighborhood, or that my guesses as to how old they “seemed” were reliable guides to their actual ages.
Well, yes, the child was dressed in a style that reminded me of the rapper Coolio. I was really referring more to how the toddler was carrying himself. But to your point I see a lot of toddlers doing what I call the “tough baby” thing. You know, because they are small and stocky and get that scowl because they are so intent on getting to that ball but can’t really articulate their thoughts yet.
Although I do feel kind of bad that the child couldn’t seem to find anyone to play with. He was too small to go on any of the equipment and all the other children were much older.
Okay, but you know this reads like a textbook illustration of individual manifestation of systemic societal unconscious racial bias, right? That is, non-Black American from majority-white neighborhood:
Goes to unfamiliar majority-Black neighborhood.
Sees Black kids engaging in totally ordinary kid behaviors (including that toddler stomp-and-scowl thing that, as you note, is very common among toddlers in general).
Sees other aspects of the kids’ appearance, like clothing or hairstyle or scowls, that in their own minds are associated with Black adults, like rappers or other celebrities.
Comes away with the impression that the Black kids seem somehow older, or inappropriately “mature” for their ages or developing “more adult mannerisms”, and that it’s somehow weird or “sad”.
But that perception is ultimately you, not them. If you looked at illustrations in early 20th-century American or British juvenile fiction, for example, you’d see fourteen-year-old white boys wearing three-piece suits and neckties for everyday dress, and you’d probably think that they “seemed older” or inappropriately “mature for their age” too. That presentation is coded adult to you, because you associate it in your own experience with adults rather than children. But to the kids in question, it’s a normal and expected aspect of childhood.
You’re right about that part, it is kind of a drag to be the lone “playground baby” who probably had to accompany an older sibling who was tasked with “minding” him but naturally preferred to spend most of their time playing with their own friends.