This made me laugh at a time I was pretending not to be in my office. Thanks, Bam… my cover is blown.
To the OP, and Ice… I hear these complaints on occasion, and I have to tell you I am completely amazed by them. I’ve never been a lunch-taker, because I hate how the fridge makes everything too cold and the spread makes the bread soggy. But I always wondered about the psychology of lunch-stealers, especially in professional settings where you can be reasonably assured that everyone earns enough to a) make their own lunch or b) buy one.
I figure it must be some mental power play. Like, “Hey, I’m increasing shareholder profits by coming in ten minutes early, so I deserve to have one of my less hardworking co-workers feed me lunch.” And Ice’s explanation fits perfectly with my experiences with teenagers. They don’t think, much of the time. Assigning logic to teen behavior in all instances is a sure fire way to make yourself insane.
Here’s the solution to all of your problems, though, folks.
Get yourself one of those insulated bags made out of backpack material. If you’re over the age of 12 and you do not work on a construction site, do not buy a lunchbox.
Then get yourself a luggage lock. Preferably a combo that you can reset.
Affix the lock to the top of the bag. If you have the right lock, it should prevent the thief from opening the bag, and it requires minimum fuss on your part.
I understand the urge for revenge, but if you have to expend energy making a cat food/dog shit/habanero-and-mustard sarnie, what revenge is that? I’m too lazy to intentionally fuck over people.
The other thing… I distrust other people prepping food, especially not professionals. So I can eat at Wendy’s but I am never certain if Joe Bloggs down the hall masturbates before making his lunch, or if Sally picks her scabby earlobes with the knife she uses in the dijon mustard. Ergo you won’t catch me eating other people’s food, for the most part.
