A partner at a law firm at which I used to work has admitted to raiding the fridge and his clerks’ desks desks for food.
I applaud the OP’s initiative.
Call me stupid, but I can’t understand how this is assault. The lunch stealer is being harmed by his own action. If he obeyed the law and didn’t steal, then he would have been perfectly fine. Why is there a legal expectation that the bag you brought was actually your lunch? Maybe you made your cat a sandwich, but didn’t have time to take it home, so you brought it with you.
I especially don’t see a problem if you specify what is in your fake lunch on the bag or whatever. If they don’t believe you, that’s got to be their own fault, right?
Finally, I find it odd that nobody has mentioned telling somebody who has the authority to do something about it, perhaps even a boss. Signs may not work, but surely most people can be dissuaded by having someone over them threaten them.
He was a retired fellow from a small community in the maritimes who came to babysit for a week in Toronto. He knew about cold breakfast cereal, but had never eaten it before – he was a bacon, eggs and hot cereal fellow. Before he arrived, I dumped the cat kibble in a jar, and once my parents left, I put the jar beside the oatmeal jar. The first morning, I made him breakfast, including cat kibble with milk. (I did not feed the cat kibble that week, and instead fed the cat canned tuna), and had Captain Crunch myself, which was too sweet for his tastes. He made his own breakfast the rest of the week, quite liking the kibble, until I told him what it was the last day before my parents returned.
Why would you even admit to the cat food sandwich as being yours? Unless the lunch stealer is specifically targeting *your *lunch, from a bag with *your *name on it, just make a hot sauce and tuna sandwich, and leave it in an unmarked brown bag.
If the lunch stealer complains that you tried to harm him, you can pull out your real lunch from under your desk, in its insulted bag. Be sure to comment on how you keep it at your desk now, because ‘someone’ was stealing it from the fridge.
In this case, calling it a bag is not insulting, because it’s descriptive.
I still like the food dye - it’ll turn their tongue blue, and if you have to eat it, so what? It’s just food dye. It’s not assault.
:smack: Insulated. It should have been insulated.
Ok, here’s how things stand. Last night i experimented with several hot sauces and while i found some decently hot ones i didn’t think any of them reached teach-you-a-lesson level of hotness unless i went totally overboard with them making the sandwich an obvious trap, so i went with cat food because i really didn’t want to spend that much effort or money on the scumbag. The sandwich is currently sitting in the fridge awaiting lunch hour, i sure hope they take the bait because just making it made me nauseous.
For several months my former office was plagued by a thief we called “the Bread Monster”. A lot of people brought loaves of bread in to make up their own sandwiches. And it would go missing, a few slices at a time. Sometimes the entire loaf would be gone. HR set up investigations, nobody would own up.
Eventually I caught the Bread Monster red handed with his mitts in a bread bag, and a slice of dry bread in his mouth.
It was the CEO.
I hope the thief grows fur and whiskers.
In the US that would be considered strict products liability, totally different matter from an IIED claim
The way I read it, its a products liability case under UK law as well.
By Scots and English law alike the manufacturer of an article of food, medicine or the like, sold by him to a distributor in circumstances which prevent the distributor or the ultimate purchaser or consumer from discovering by inspection any defect, is under a legal duty to the ultimate purchaser or consumer to take reasonable care that the article is free from defect likely to cause injury to health
A sandwich you make for yourself cannot be considered a product “sold” to anyone, nor put in the stream of commerce.
And anyway, as previously discussed, cat food is not a substance likely to cause injury to physical health. People eat it all the time.
Those are cute, but in my office, it would mean that your lunch would be thrown out. On occasion, a long-forgotten lunch has been discovered as the source of stench and has been tossed. If someone peeked into your bag and saw the “mold” your lunch may vanish.
To the OP, I would simply start a totally false rumor that the perp has already eaten a cat food sandwich. If someone tries to get you in trouble, you can then tell the truth “There was never any cat food, it was a ruse.” and perp will have outed him/herself. Otherwise, the rumor will get around and the perp will know not to mess with your lunch in the future.
Or, you can do what I did in my old workplace: I started using a small toolbox as a lunchbox, because it allowed me to lock it with a little travel lock.
Why do one thing when you can do several?
Why not a lunch containing …
[ol]
[li]A cat food sandwich.[/li][li]Some sort of dye powder on the interior of the bag that doesn’t easily wash off one’s hands.[/li][li]As already mentioned, one of those musical greeting card IC chips removed from the card and placed in the bag, triggered when opened.[/li][/ol]
Minimum-wage starvelings and power-tripping CEOs aside, IMHO the usual reason for lunch theft is that nocturnal Word of Warcraft raiding, binge drinking, or the American Idol finals occupied the theif’s attention the previous night and no preparations were made for lunch.
There are plenty of them here on the Dope. Look in any thread related to automobiles, and there will be someone advocating vandalizing cars.
Ok, let us assume the OP gets a great victory by tricking the thief into eating cat food and they vomit, get sick and never steal the OP’s lunch again. What has the OP gained?
Not the ability to eat his lunch. Because we have established that thief can get to the OP’s lunch in more or less complete secrecy. And, we can assume that the thief does not have a lot of scruples.
What’s to stop him from striking back at the OP and poisoning or otherwise trapping the OP’s lunch?
In other words, the OP gets revenge at the cost of never again being able to keep his lunch in the fridge again. Not to mention a small chance of being sued or fired. Or maybe the thief decides on other, more dangerous forms of revenge- hey OP- where do you park your car? Maybe the thief has access to the OP’s home address?
A day late an a dollar short…
I would suggest making the sandwich with meat product such as SPAM, KAM, or potted meat. The next day, or the end of the week post the cat food label. While revenge is sweet, be the bigger person and hope that they learn the lesson.
I would also be worried about the possible retaliation. Store your lunch at your desk. The foods won’t spoil in an insulated lunch bag…that’s what they are designed for.
I like the idea of the noisemaker in the lunch bag. It’s a good alarm. You may be able to find one that is activated by light instead of the tab action.
We had a lady at our work that did this as well, but it was hit-or-miss to what went missing and when. I discovered a document on a shared LAN drive that was a journal for her Overeaters Anonymous group that detailed the thefts. (It was the same lady who pumped her breast milk at her desk or on the bus and washed the equipment in the office kitchen…and left it out to air dry.)
Someone tell me, what is the merit of a proportinal response? Someone messes with me, I don’t want them to feel the same pain I felt…I want it to hurt MORE, so they realize I don’t give as good as I get, I give BETTER.
Not saying that doing something so blatant as defacing someone’s vehicle is advisable, but simply reacting in proportion always seemed silly to me.
Thanks for not bashing me, even though I deserve it.
I really don’t recall exactly what I stole to eat, but I kinda doubt I would have taken/eaten a sandwich with any kind of not-instantly-identifiable filling or anything made with mayo since you never know with that kind of stuff. I would take a quick peek inside a lunch bag, then if it looked promising, I’d grab it, hide it under my shirt or whatever, then sneak down to the basement with it and open it up there.
If it were a plain bologna or ham sandwich, I’d eat it. But anything filled with any kind of salad (tuna, chicken, egg, mystery, etc), I’d furtively and guiltily toss in the trash. So, any kind of cat-food sandwich trap wouldn’t have worked in my case. Lunches with those would still get taken, but since I’d never even take a bite, they would keep disappearing and I’d never “learn my lessson”. :eek:
Also, people saying “spike it with Dave’s Insanity”, wasabi powder, dog shit, etc etc. um, do you folks not inspect and sniff your food before stuffing it in your mouth? I imagine that most lunch-stealers would open up the sandwich and carefully inspect it, smell it, and only if it passed muster would they take a tiny bite. They wouldn’t just chow down on it. Well, at least I didn’t/wouldn’t have.
Again, I know what I did was wrong and I feel like a real schmuck now thinking back on it. Being poor and hungry wasn’t an excuse.
p.s. I don’t know why I didn’t have a lunch of my own, maybe the group home didn’t let us use the kitchen/knives, whatever to prepare one. I really don’t remember.
In which case, then skip the whole silly assed immature revenge fantasy, notify management about the thefts and just keep your lunch in your desk where it can;t be stolen.
Getting revenge on someone where you don;t know who it is, but they quite likely know who you are- is just about the most foolish idea imaginable. It leaves you open to retaliation with no way to strike back.