I was the “why” kid, and it was hugely frustrating to me and everyone else because nobody could seem to answer it satisfactorily. But in hindsight, I think there’s another factor that doesn’t seem to come up much:
We group kids in school based almost exclusively by age. Then we put a couple of dozen of them in a room and expect them to learn something like math at exactly the same rate. It seems more and more absurd as I get older.
Math builds on itself. You learn this, then that, then take both of those things and do something else and it probably needs to be learned in that order. Fine. But when everyone is doing it at the same time, some kids aren’t going to get it the first time. And as soon as they fall behind it’s very difficult to catch up.
So my experience as a kid went like this:
Teacher: OK, everyone got that step.
Me: (silently) Uhhhhhh…
Teacher moves on to next thing. Ten minutes later…
Teacher: Everybody got that? Good, now we do this…
And I’m still stuck ten minutes ago. It’s a very helpless feeling. I made attempts to get help, and teachers sometimes tried to go back or slow down, but the fact was I was very unlikely to learn it at that pace. It wasn’t until years later I found that I could learn it if I went much more slowly.
Nowadays I’m very un-shy about saying, “No, I don’t understand,” during some kind of training. And of course, there are usually others too. But godammit, I’ve gotten pushback on that sometimes!
Should also mention here that I used to be a (non-math) teacher. I understand that we need to keep a schedule, but I recognized that if people weren’t absorbing the material there was little point in moving forward.
