Pretty much what Earthworm Jim said. We have to stay open and close according to our times, and we simply get less business the later it gets. One thing about working in food service is that there is never, ever a time when you’re allowed to just stand still and do nothing because “there’s nothing to do”. There’s always something to do, and we’re made well aware of this by our managers. Now, as business slows down, we don’t need as many friars, slicers, burners, or anything else operational that is used to prepare food as we normally would if we were more busy, so we turn them off, take them apart, and clean them as quickly as we can so we can leave the store on time (which never, ever happens).
Now as employee in the Deli department at a Publix grocery store, the time that I’m supposed to check out and go home is 10:30. The store closes it’s doors to customers at 10:00. At the end of the day, there’s grime, bits of cheese and meat, oil and grease, all over the place. We have to hose down the floor, soap and water every square inch of…well everything, throw stuff away, do mountains of dishes, wipe down everything, take apart everything and put it all back together, sweep, and squeegee the water on the floor into the drains. There’s no way in hell that we can get this done in half an hour. We have to rely on the later hours of the day being slow if we have any hope of going home in time, and every customer we have to deal with decreases our chances of doing that.
I thought of another one: people who drive Hummers. But they aren’t going to real Hell. Oh no. They’re going to Dipshit Hell, where they will hang out with that guy I saw driving around downtown with REALLY LOUD music blaring out of a brand new (with dealer plates) silver convertible with the top down, dressed in a suit. You think you look cool, but you actually look like a dipshit! Other inhabitants of Dipshit Hell: people who sit around in cafes talking on their cell phones about how much money they’re making so that everyone can hear that they’re loaded, women with those FUGLY white-and-pastel Louis Vuitton bags, and anyone who buys copies of Who Moved My Cheese? in bulk to give their employees.
Especially the ones who go ballistic when you refuse to speed up even though doing so would mean (a) mowing down the bicyclist(s) ahead of you on a narrow, winding country road, or (b) pulling out to pass the cyclist(s) and having a spectacular head-on collision since you can’t see more than 50 yards ahead at the moment because of all the blind curves.
People at work who, when you are involved with a very long complicated project that you are doing your way and while it may not be the best way, it’s a working way, insist that you do it their way, thus destroying your system and messing up things to boot, so you have to stay late.
I’m sure there’s a special slot in hell already reserved for the dumb shit who created the CD digipack with the spoked circle in the middle. If the spokes break, the CD doesn’t stay in and you have to buy another one. DAMMIT.
I’m glad they are being replaced with digipacks that have solid raised circles in the middle to hold the CD.
In a similar vein: the bitch in the blue Volkswagen Golf, who stopped right on the crossed out box in the middle of the intersection yesterday, thereby disabling me from making my left turn into my street, thus backing up traffic behind me all the way through the NEXT intersection, and then pretended to not hear my horn, which was approximately 20 centimeters under her open window. Took 4 minutes for that mess to clear.
I have had apologies from most people and I had one person get upset with me for moving because I was rude. :rolleyes:
Oh, and of course the classic, “But I need to answer my cellphone, it could be somebody important!” :rolleyes: The implication behind that, to me, is: “Somebody I’d rather talk to than you might call me.” That is an example of when the “accidental” flying cup of coffee would come in handy.
I don’t see any of those people anymore. I mean, if I’m “rude” I shouldn’t be allowed to hang out with you and if I’m not “important” enough I don’t deserve to hang out with you.
Dragonblink you are now officially one of my heroes.
People at work who jam the copy machine and walk away without unjamming it. FUCKERS! Now I have to mess with it and get the jam fixed. Why? Because you are lazy fucks who will BURN.
I also work in a grocery store deli, except in mine if we work late we get bitched at by the store manager for working overtime. Apparently some of the corporate chimps tested it and figured you could wipe every thing down, do all the dishes, wrap all the meats, etc. in half an hour. :dubious:
Allow me to add bosses who understaff and then fret overtime, and people who know how fast a job can be done. Rot in the pit ya bastards. :mad:
A woman sitting directly in front of me at the movie last night took three phone calls on her cell phone. What was so remarkable was how well she did it. She’d hold the phone vertically, practically pressed to her lips, to answer, and then press the phone to her ear to hear the caller. She moved the phone back and forth, quickly wrapping up the call. I could never hear her words except once when she said “I’m still in the movie. Bye.” If I hadn’t been sitting right behind her, able to see the glow of the LCD display, I’d never have known she’d gotten the calls. I wanted to hug her!
And the people who will be one level below them - the ones who jam it, then come and ask me to un-jam it, and when I patiently explain (for the zillionth time) how to do it (because I’m swamped and just can’t do it NOW), just stare at me blankly and still walk away without fixing it themselves.
Well that situation sucks but it certainly is not the customer’s fault. Pit the management for being bottom line assholes. I have had many years of food service experience, mostly as a cook, and we (the cooks) had a stock remark whenever one of the prima donna, slack ass, no account, piss and moan waiters woulld complain about a late seating–“Oh gee. Another pesky customer!”
Dammit, I wasn’t done yet. They can share the innermost circle with:
WHOEVER DESIGNED THIS WEBSITE SO THAT IT’S POSSIBLE TO ACCIDENTALLY POST JUST BY HAVING YOUR FINGER SLIP.
Anyway, I’m hungry late at night, and I drive by a Der Wienershnitzel with a big, blazing, lit neon sign in the window that says OPEN. I drive up to the speaker, and hear “We’re closed”. I say, “You need to turn off your OPEN sign.” I drive around to the exit, still hungry, and as I’m leaving, notice that the OPEN sign is still on. BURN - MOTHERFUCKERS!
Second innermost circle goes to the people in my neighborhood who get to the 4-way stop sign WAY before I do, but as I’m approaching from the cross-street, wait for me to stop BEFORE they proceed. Then when I get there and stop, they’re still sitting there. When that happens, I’m going to say to myself, “Well if you’re not going to go, then I will”. Do not pick that exact moment to suddenly wake up and drive, almost smacking into me. If you’re so goddam scared of being hit that you have to wait all day until all other cars come to a complete stop before you get up the nerve to start moving, then why are you perfectly willing to smack into me as soon as your pride gets hurt?
Third innermost circle - wait a sec, this should be FIRST - People who park SUVs in the “compact” space.
As I said not five minutes ago to saramamalana: those who manufacture espadrilles, those who market espadrilles, and those who wear espadrilles. Ditto for those hideous winter-type boots (I think she called them “Ugg boots”).
