I wasnt quite sure how to title this thread…anyways, what do you think of people who feel like they have to butt in to a discussion or disagreement, either online or in person, because they are the persons friend or relative? Recently I was on a forum and me and one other person were disagreeing about something. I stated I had x belief and she was rude to me bc of it. There were no swear words or yelling (capital letters) . Suddenly another person jumped into our two way talk and told me “I am Janes friend. She is a nice person, just stop” As if her friend wasnt able to speak for herself. I calmly pointed out that the discussion was between me and Jane. She 2hen said some insulting junior high type stuff. Once more I pointed out that unless Jane was a child, she should be able to speak for herself. This is the only time I have encountered this type of junior high antics where one person appoints themselves a spokesperson because they are their friend. Again, there was nothing out of bounds in our talk, no swearing or anything like that. It was two adults having a disagreement. Have any of you experienced this ? Do you think its overstepping to interject into a two party disagreement,just bc you are tgat persons friend? It felt intimidating to me to be told to basicaly stop because this woman was her friend.
I’m against it.
Yes, but generally, the person tends to add something of substance or attempts to defuse the situation, as opposed to just announcing their relation and telling one person to stop.
If it’s a civil discussion/disagreement, generally, yes-- especially since both parties were taking part in it. At most, I’d probably advise my friend in private, suggesting they should stop, but I wouldn’t shoulder the battle, just because.
With the understanding of your circumstance (or rather, that of the person you were disagreeing with), I would have asked my friend to exit the discussion, since they were escalating it beyond what it needed to be. I guess someone got defensive.
Somebody was rude to you on the internet??? OH NOES!!!
Sorry for the snark, but in a public forum like this one, and presumably the other one you’re referring to, anybody can “butt in” to any discussion at any time.
We don’t know exactly what Jane’s friend said to you. Maybe it was truly rude, maybe it wasn’t. But nothing was stopping her or anybody else from entering the conversation. Your choices are to respond to her or not. That’s pretty much it.
If you want to guarantee a discussion between you and only one other person, do it via PM.
I think the issue has alot to do with what a poster above said. Usually if someone interjects thsemselves into a two way discussion,they are not doing so.because they are somehow related to or a friend of that person…they do so bc they have something to offer. This person who butted in didnt seem to have anything to say, other than “Im Janes friend, so stop it”…as if a) Jane is a child and needs a spokesperson and b) as if being Janes friend somehow means my opinion isnt valid . My thought was so what if your her friend, what does that have to do with our discussion? I have friends too, most people do, but what does that have to do with it. Jane should be able to speak for herself