People Who Can't Park Piss Me Off

I was getting a haircut this morning, and when the stylist
turned the chair toward the parking lot, I noticed some idiot had parked about 6 inches from the drivers side of my car.
(clearly marked spaces)

Of course they had 5 feet of clearance from the other side of the space.

Being that I have an artificial leg, on the way out I politely asked the people in the waiting area if whoever owned that vehicle would please move over, as I was somewhat disabled.
(It was someone in the shop, as it’s a stand alone building)

Not a fucking person said shit.

I walked out and climbed into my car through the passenger side, which is a fucking hassle with a fake leg.

Hell, I don’t even use handicap spaces, even though I have a placard. (I can walk, people in wheelchairs need them)

Dam, I hate rude fucking people!

Yeah I hate those fuckers too.

I like to keep my car doors free of dents and dings. It really pisses me off when some fuckin car parks 6 inches away from my passenger side door and swings their door open hitting it and leaving a dent in it.

And what’s worse is when I have to pull into a parking space with another car next to it that has its fuckin tires on the line. Because of that, I have to park with my tires on the opposite line so I don’t get my door hit on the passenger side.

But I’m also taking a gamble because I’m assuming the car next to my driver side won’t have a passenger to hit my driver side door.

Just make an effort to park in between the lines with sufficient space on either side. It’s not that hard.

If you’re pissed at people crowding your vehicle, never own a cycle.
People always querly think the space must still be empty, despite the 4’x10’ object sitting there.

Hey Klaatu (aren’t you really the Beatles :)), I agree. Worse than what happened to you? people who believe that their cars are so valuable that they take up more than one space. I’ve more than one car taking up FOUR SPACES at a local mall. To me, this says “Please take your sharpest key and ruin my paint job.” Of course, I’m a nice guy and wouldn’t do that, but it makes me feel better thinking about it.

I love to try to park next to these people! I have an 'ol 91 Jeep with a fading paintjob and a few dings. So I’ll do my best to pull in bacwards (my passenger door next to his driver door), or very close next to the guy taking up 3 or 4 spaces - Get RIGHT next to his front bumper. I’d never actually do any damage, just try to show my point to him.
  Morkster the vengeful

Fonz:

I’m curious. Is it illegal to park you bike on the sidewalk next to your house? It always seemed a waste of a whole space to use it for one motorcycle (not to mention the danger of getting it knocked over by people who just have no distance judgement!)

People at UMKC are the fucking WORST. We have very limited parking available. There is a gravel lot, with concrete movable curbs in it. Logically, each curb = 1 car. Of course, I said logically. Dick-smacks like to park with their car juuuust to the side of the edge of the curb, so the next guy has to park further over, and so on, until we’ve wasted five or six spots because some fuck-nugget thinks his riced-out Neon is a piece of art. FUCK YOU!!!

On my last day this semester, some fuck-rag in a Nissan parked, angled, across two spots, and a truck, huge ol’ mo-fo, parked at an opposite angle beside the Nissan. So instead of ||, we had /\ and took up four spaces. I ripped out some paper, scrawled “Hey shitstain, learn how to park, dick-weed” and put it under the Nissan’s wiper blade. Doubt it did any good. In the school paper a few months before, there was a police report about a girl who zoomed in and stole someone’s parking space as they were waiting for it. She got a note with a drawing that said “Wait your turn” and had a scribbled smiley face with a bullet hole in it’s head and labeled “you.” Hey, bitch. Learn how to park, and that wouldn’t happen.

The other day, across from the BB I work in, some ass wipe thought it was his duty to park across four spaces, horizontally, at the top of the spaces, because his car was THAT important. Eight intelligent people parked around him, blocking him in, and hopefully teaching him his lesson.

You don’t know how many cars I’d key if only I had a facemask. Parking is NOT that hard, assholes.

–Tim