Interesting that some people would rather relax than play games. For me playing games is relaxing! My wife is not a big gammer, but she knows I am and will participate from time to time. She, like Eve, seems to find them a waste of time. Which is strange since this is the same woman who Tivo’s ‘Days of Our Lives’ and watches that every night!
Part of it may be that she’s just not comfortable playing games in that particular setting. I’d rather be drawn and quartered than play games with my in-laws. A lot of it is that their idea of a fun time is to sit around talking shit and gloating about how badly you’re doing. This is bad enough with a game you’re familiar and comfortable with, but all they ever play is Rook. I’ve played Rook exactly once in my life, and that one game is the primary reason I flatly refuse to play cards with my husband ever under any circumstances. Spending an evening being mocked for being bad at something I don’t understand how to do by people who are really good at it but won’t help you out is pretty much the polar opposite of my idea of fun.
I don’t like playing games like Cranium or Guesstures or Pictionary in big crowds of people I barely know, either. It’s just…I don’t know what, exactly, but something. It just doesn’t appeal to me at all. I don’t mind watching, but I’d really prefer not to take part. Now, I rather like these games with my family and close friends. The louder and rowdier the better, in that situation.
If I may add a bit of illumination (as burundi’s husband): I’ve seen my brother’s girlfriend play games twice that I remember.
First time was years ago, when my brother finally convinced her to try Dungeons and Dragons. She played a session of it and decided she didn’t like it; fair enough!
Second time was this weekend. After our normal game of D&D, everyone packed up to leave, and then my brother suggested a game of Super Mario Smash (a Nintendo fighting game), and she eagerly agreed to it. I sat around and watched them play for a bit, and she was good at it, obviously having played it a lot, and she was talking as much smack as anyone else there.
I don’t know what that means. Other than that, she often hangs out with us when we’re playing D&D or playing board games or whatnot; she’ll often bring her sketchbook and draw while we game. So it’s not that she doesn’t like us. Maybe she’s just very particular about what games she plays.
Daniel
I’m not a big game player. I don’t have much of a competitive spirit in most instances. If I play a game, it is supposed to something we do while we shoot the shit (and in the past drink beer.) But I don’t care enough about the game to concentrate or play hard.
Having said that, I play a mean game of ping pong.
I love ping pong! And air hockey too. They seem much more relaxing than charades or board games. And I don’t know why.
I basically can’t get the hang of most games, though I used to kick ass at Trivial Pursuit.
I’m really fond of mancala games (yoohoo, Agent Foxtrot, wanna have another go?) and not too long ago I learned to play mah-jongg. But I suffer from an extreme lack of people to play with. I will play online sometimes, but I’d rather have a live person (or, in the case of mah-jongg, people) to play with. I live with my mother, who doesn’t enjoy playing at all, although I can coax her into playing mancala once in a while.
Leave it to me to like playing games that, in order to play, I have to teach my opponent the rules.
The Parker Brothers games are better than watching paint dry, if you’re, like, stuck in an isolated cabin for a weekend, or something, but they’re by and large terrible. There are lots of amazing, well-designed games pouring out of Europe right now: Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, and many, many others. These are family games in the true sense: the rules are simple enough for children to learn, but there are many layers of strategic depth, so they are not boring to adults, either.
Since the majority of people who are nowhere near as “into” games as I am, I’m pretty much accepted that I am “weird.” People who like “normal” games often balk at the games I play, not because they’re complicated or difficult to learn, but just because they’re just not used to the concept.
I think that, due to the crappy board game market in the US, people are acculturated to a small number of games in the world: social/party games (e.g. Trivial Pursuit, Cranium, Pictionary, etc.), word games (Scrabble, Boggle, etc.), card games (mostly poker deck games, or maybe Uno), traditional strategy games (chess, backgammon, etc.) and board games, which in the US are typically race-style games and are designed (poorly!) for children. So to get someone interested in board gaming, you first have to overcome the stigma that boardgames are for children, and they are boring to an adult, then the fear of the unfamiliar (since good, origianl board games are very different in format), then the more complex problem that adults are often very self-conscious about learning new games and making mistakes. (Probably exacerbated by jerks like CrazyCatLady’s inlaws who would rather crow over their own superiority than encourage a new game player.) Social games that are popular with adults in the US, you’ll notice, usually have extremely simple rules, by design. In my experience, most adults get much more flustered than children when they have a complex set of rules to learn, naturally, they make mistakes. This is, as far as I can detect, the best way to tell a gamer from a non-gamer. Sit them down and try to teach them something new, then watch what happens when you have to correct them. Do they say, “Oh. Okay,” ask a clarifying question, and continue play? Or do they say, “Oh, ohmigod, I’m sorry! Have I screwed everything up? What do I do now? Oh, I’m so stupid, I just can’t get this! This is, like, the millionth mistake I’ve made! I don’t know how you memorize all these rules!” etc.
People who don’t like to game at all, I just lump into the “not weird” category along with the people who, mysteriously, prefer lame and boring (but familiar) games to good games. I don’t really grok either group.
Heh–we’ve been totally engrossed by Settlers of Catan since I got it for Christmas this year (thanks, mom!) My favorite part of the game is the trading phase in it, and watching in delight as people come up with new and unusual ways to wheel and deal with each other. “Okay, I’ll give you these three ore now, along with a wood, as long s you give me a free use of your port on your next turn and give me the ore back on my turn, so that I don’t have to worry about having the Ore stolen by the robber.” That sort of thing. It’s tremendous.
Daniel
I love to play board games and cards because it’s being with people that I enjoy. My family is great to play games with, chatting and joking and telling stories.
Computer games or play station or whatever is the proper term for those thingies, I don’t much enjoy, sort of. The shoot 'em up kind stress me the hell out! I don’t *like * getting killed and chased around. The non-shoot-'em up sort are okay, but I’d rather do something real, like hiking, artwork, sewing, etc., with my ever-diminishing stock of time left on this earth.
I have nothing for this thread but Eve!!! Yay!!! Eve!!! Double yay!!!
Oh yeah, my little brother once bit the nose off of Operation in a fit of pique. No foolin.
A wholeheartedly with Podkayne here – people who don’t game have been probably been put off by what they encounter. The accessible games aren’t games at all, whereas the inaccessible ones are… simply inaccessible.
Games that are based on pure knowledge can amount to intellectual masturbation contests. It’s understandable why anybody, particularly somebody who’s not particularly knowledgeable, would be turned away from them. On the other hand, anybody who’s looking for an intellectual past time will be appalled by party games.
Real, entertaining, gaming arises when strategy becomes possible. But these games are probably the most inaccessible, typified by the likes Chess, Monopoly, Poker and Go. I think it’s possible that people are deterred from strategy games for the same reason that Mathematics is generally disliked. Both are based on seemingly arbitrary rules, appear cryptic, and even when it’s all explained, it takes a lot of practice to become good. Games have a distinct advantage though – they’re multiplayer, and a hell of a lot more fun!
We just need to make games like this more accessible, and the board game should be the ideal format. But as Podkayne said, most of the board games that make it onto the English speaking (same deal in the UK) market are pretty lame. Up until about a year ago, I’d never really conceived of anything beyond Monopoly, Scrabble and the hordes of mindless ‘race’ games like the abysmal “game of life”. Perhaps if good strategy board games were widely available, then more people would be drawn to the ‘real’ side of gaming
I too highly recommend the Settlers of Catan, having recently been taught how to play by a Dutch friend. You honestly have to play it to understand the magic. It’s one of those beautiful games which simply overwhelms you with the amount of possibility arising from a fairly simple set of rules.
Oh, and finally – a game has to flow. It’s very easy to have a game where the flow is constantly interrupted, usually by a couple of players who seem unable to focus on the game. This is no fun for anybody, and judging by how often it happens, I wouldn’t be surprised if it puts people off gaming. For those who care, board games are amazing while stoned (I said the guy was Dutch, right?) – everybody becomes completely absorbed in the game, which is hard to achieve with sober people (but even harder with drunks). Just make sure you explain the rules beforehand!
However, there will always be people who think gaming is childish, or don’t like to be mess up. Gaming will never be for them, but I’m sure there are far more people who should be gamers!
Non-gaming Doper married to a gaming Doper
I was never crazy about board games, not even as a kid, or cards. I’m usually involved in a book and don’t take much time for even TV. I am quite competitive, but like to see myself improving. Drachillix has tried to initiate my interest in the games that occupy him, but they don’t feel like fun to me. If the family is playing Trivial Pursuit or Poker or such, I will take a turn, but do not seek to do so. Even in Vegas, I’ll only game for a while, then people-watch, the very reason to go to Vegas.
I find most games to be stressful, to be honest. First, there’s the uncomfortable period when you’re learning how to play the game–learning all the stupid rules and instructions and complicated “tricks”. Then there’s the thinking involved–all the strategy and score-keeping and rule-remembering. Also, games require endurance. It’s not enough to play one round or one hand–you get sucked into a never-ending thing that keeps you from watching TV or simply relaxing. You have to be really “into” it to enjoy it.
Another reason I don’t like games is that I generally don’t play them well. I suck in card games because I can never remember the rules. I suck at things like Jeopardy because I’m too slow on the “buzzer”. I’m pretty good at other kinds of trivia games, but I get bored after a while and stop paying attention when the questions are read. I also get performance anxiety and get easily embarrassed when I goof up (especially when everyone else is doing so well), so playing games kinda suck for me.
When I was little and other kids would try to rope me into joining them in a game, I’d always cop out by saying I didn’t know how to play (even when I did). This would sometimes give me an out all together. Other times, it would provide a “built-in” excuse if I didn’t do well.
I really enjoy games (at least, I enjoy the ones I’m not really bad at; I don’t like having to have trigger reflexes or anything), and I wish I had people to play them with. My friends either enjoy playing video games together, which I think is kind of boring while I enjoy them sometimes on my own, or they seem to think they’re kind of silly. I wish I went to parties where people played Trivial Pursuit and such; I used to all the time with my family. There’s a hilarious account of the Bookslut people trying to play the literary edition of TP: http://www.bookslut.com/features/2005_03_004701.php
I grew up in a no-TV, book-devouring, game-playing family, and I loved it.
My husband grew up in a lots-of-TV-as-soon-as-they-could-afford-one, “Books, what are they for??” kind of family, and even to this day he will NOT read fiction, though he is a voracious “How-to” reader.
He will not play games of ANY kind with me or our kids, and unfortunately I have discovered that my mother and father must have had the patience of saints for teaching us the rules, how to take turns and to win or lose pleasantly. It is much more work than play to play games with my own kids at the moment.
When we were kids we had a caravan, and we were taken all over Europe by our parents. Last summer we were all together and reminiscing about our childhood summers. My Mum asked us what our best memories were, and me and my brother came out with the exact same thing - lying in our bunkbeds in the caravan, with the curtain pulled across, rain drumming on the roof, the gaslight hissing, and Mum and Dad playing crib at the table: “15, 2, 15, 4 and a pair’s 6” “Oooh you bugger!”
Nothing has ever felt cosier and safer than that…
I wouldn’t say my in-laws are jerks, Podkayne. They all seem to enjoy taking it just as much as they do dishing it out. For them, it’s fun. It’s just that their idea of fun and my idea of fun are irreconcilably different.
I really like playing games. I am lucky that I am around game-playing people who are willing to belly up to the Scrabble or Trouble board with me. I will try almost any game at least once, though I am not very good at card games. My friends and I generally talk over our games. The only problem I have found is in finding people to play online games with. Sometimes you just want to play Dots with someone, and it’s a pain to have to do it on a piece of paper.
It’s been awhile since I’ve played games. Before Grandpa died we played cards a LOT. We’d play Rummy most of the time and with different great-aunts and uncles we’d play Hearts and Canasta. Sometimes we’d also pull out Scrabble, Upwords or Yahtzee. My brother and I used to play Monopoly fairly often and some of my best childhood memories are of being out camping; a fire at my back, a lantern on the table and everyone playing Cribbage. It’s just about companionship and it’s easy enough to discuss what’s happening with life over a mug of tea and a game of cards.
Role playing is a completely different thing for me, it’s not so much about the game itself… it’s about the story. When I LARPed regularly it was about interacting with others and seeing what would happen, as well as socializing. It was more fun than a night at the bar, and there was many a time where after the game ended we’d all go to some 24 hour restaurant and be up until nearly dawn just discussing future plans for the characters and story, or just hanging out.
I haven’t done either in a bit, and I miss them both for different reasons. I don’t like a lot of board games though, cuz I like to play by the rules and my little cousins always make up rules as they go.
The game: Pinochle
My dad and I vs. mom and my wife.
Great times to converse about things followed by the winners’ bragging.
I very rarely play games of any kind. However, I will play if someone invites (I’m okay at Scrabble, chess, and Trivial Pursuit, though I always lose the latter to my mom and her killer “always answer Sandy Koufax” strategy).
I guess I do other things for recreation, such as art, cartography, and work on my websites.