Nope. Why should I? There were lots of adults I wasn’t allowed to hang out with when I was a kid. They weren’t obligated to let me, and likewise I’m not obligated to either. It’s not my responsibility to entertain anybody else’s offspring.
Soooo…is this some of that much-vaunted kindness and compassion and general respect for other human beings you’re wanting us to show for kids?
I mean, really, people tell you that your kid is causing them physical pain, and your response is that they should just sit the hell down and STFU, but yet everyone is supposed to be all sweetness and light to kids? Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. The rest of us are trying to live in a goddamn society here, and that means compassion and understanding and respect need to flow both ways. It means that I don’t snarl and bitch at your kid for being a kid, even when he’s giving me a blinding headache that will have me hanging over the toilet for a few hours, yes. But it also means you should make some tiny shred of effort to keep your kid from engaging in behavior that will give me said blinding headache. If your kids have picked up your attitude, it’s small wonder people hate them.
Some of the parents in this thread make me want to drive the five hours home just to give my brother and sil a few extra hugs for not being self-absorbed prats. My niece has been known to tell her dolls that if they don’t stop throwing a fit, they’ll have to go home because the other people in McDonald’s don’t want to hear that racket.
Imagine it’s a different sound that gives people a headache–a siren, an alarm, a cell phone, loud music, etc. You’d say, damn that’s loud, somebody ought to turn it off. Why should the situation be any different because the sound is coming from a human?
So you’re now saying that it isn’t just children’s laughter that you find painful, as you had previously claimed, but that what irritates you is when a child is actually screeching close enough to hurt your ears.
In other words, you’re irritated when people do irritating things. Way to stake out a really solid position there. It not even on topic; wouldn’t an adult screeching be equally painful?
No. I am claiming that if you have some sort of disorder that causes you severe pain every time you hear a child laugh, you are messed up. I’m not asking you to be sweet or nice to the kids. I’m not asking you to volunteer at the local elementary school. If a kid runs up to you and screams in your ear at the library, yes, that’s bad. If a kid is laughing in a fucking Wal-Mart? You’re being a douchebag for complaining. And if you keep reading this as “you should all love children no matter what they do” that just shows that you just don’t get it.
Imagine if you were absolutely disgusted by the sight of fat people, and it put you off your dinner. Do you think that we should ban fat people from restaurants, or that you should be treated with understanding when you get on a message board and complain about how these fat people need to stay inside and lose weight and not show themselves in public because it causes you to be physically ill? Should we just accept that it is a fat person’s social duty to be aware of your extremely rare condition and change their behaviors to soothe your oh-so-delicate sensibilities?
At some point you need to step up and take some responsibility for your condition and avoid places where you are likely to see/hear/smell/be reminded of children.
P.S.: Compassion is not equal to respect is not equal to politeness. And you’re right, i don’t respect people who whine incessantly about small things they have a great deal of control over. And I don’t empathize with your condition either, just like I don’t try and see it from Fred Phelps’ point of view.
As I said before, stating a hatred for children is a flaw. You may hate gay people, or women, or black people, or disabled people, or any other group for an accident of birth, certainly; but doing so reveals you to be a not very decent human being.
Daniel
Is there a manual on this? Haven’t seen it before.
Or is this just your personal opinion? If so. . . .oh.
I’m going to have to disagree with you. My Great Grandfather the Racist Asshole wasn’t a mental case, he was just a racist asshole. He knew right from wrong. If you asked him what made black people inferior to white people he’d say, “My opinion!” That’s all it was. Likewise, those who hate gay people aren’t suffering from some kind of disorder; they are jut assholes. Some of them use religion as an excuse, but that’s all it is: an excuse. They could wake up tomorrow and say hey, I guess gay people aren’t so bad. I could make a conscious decision not to hate kids. That’s the thing about hate; it isn’t something you can’t help. You can’t help your needle phobia, but my boss can stop hating women. Hate isn’t something that’s out of your control, it’s a decision you make. Whether I’m a decent human being is another matter–but let’s set aside the notion that I’ve “built my identity” around hating children or that I’m “self-righteous” about it. My identity, I would say, is about helping abandoned and abused animals, about staying fit, about renovating my house, about graduating from college, about cleaning up the neighborhood and helping the environment. None of those things relate to hating children. It’s not something that comes up every day or even every week. I don’t walk around all the time thinking about how I hate kids. If you met me on the street and we had a conversation, me hating children wouldn’t be involved. The good things I do with my life far outweigh this one little flaw, as you call it.
Are you disagreeing that such an attitude is a flaw? Are you disagreeing that it makes you not a decent human being? Are you disagreeing with the fundamental similarities between hating children and hating homosexuals? What exactly are you disagreeing with?
Yes, yes and no. Did you read the post?
Evidently, again, I have not made myself clear. My child is perfectly capable of behaving himself in fine dining establishments. He does not need “kid friendly” food–he eats what I eat. He certainly does not eat at McDonalds. I am able to read my child and his moods, if he is somewhat cranky then I don’t take him out. The only disruption caused when we dine out comes from people like you getting overly bothered that your relaxing meal might be disturbed for a moment.
Actually, I don’t think this physiological reaction (and it is a physiological reaction, not a bad attitude) is all that rare. Number one reason given for parents shaking their babies to death? It wouldn’t quit screaming. We’re hardwired to hate the sound of crying/screaming babies for biological reasons–it helps ensure we’ll go take care of the little buggers instead of neglecting them. Some people are just wired harder than others, and if we could rework that wiring, rest assured we would.
Or do you think I go around getting migraines on purpose because they’re just so much fun? You think people who kill their own children because they’re driven crazy by the crying just did it for shits and giggles? I know, I know, we’re all horrible defective people, and never mind any shades of gray anywhere because you have decreed the One True Way, and anyone who disagrees is deliberately being an asshole.
Lord knows there’s no shades of gray in anything. The problem isn’t the kid who is laughing in a normal tone of voice in Walmart. It’s the one who is shrieking at the top of his lungs for the entire trip–you know the kid I’m talking about. The kid you have to yell to be heard over when you try to get some fabric cut, and again when you’re getting something at the deli, and again when you try to pick up your prescription, except by then the shrieks are interspersed with gasps and hiccups because he’s been allowed to scream himself sick with absolutely no effort expended to even attempt to soothe him.
If I could avoid the neglected little critter, I surely would. But he’s there when I go shopping at 8 am, he’s there when I go at 3pm, he’s there when I go at midnight (and no wonder he’s shrieking, he’s probably exhausted–take the poor thing home, ffs.) I gotta buy toilet paper sometime, you know?
Heard.
Oh, bullshit. If a child is not being a disturbance, then the only disruption I make is a quiet word to the parents and child(ren) that I appreciate a quiet atmosphere, and I admire the child for acting like a well-behaved grownup. The parents and children always seem to be happy that I noticed good behavior. I usually don’t have to trouble myself to do this, though, as many parents seem to feel that it’s perfectly OK for Bubba Junior or Betty Sue to screech their way through the whole meal. I don’t go up to the parents or child and tell them off. Instead, I just grit my teeth and haul out my packet of painkiller. I whine and throw a hissy fit on this message board, instead of doing it in a restaurant. That’s what the BBQ Pit is FOR.
I did read your post. The only time it came close to addressing my questions was when you refer to your hatred of children as “this one little flaw, as you call it.” You seem to agree it’s similar to hating homosexuals (and, presumably, people of other races), and you refer to your grandfather as a “racist asshole” because of his hatred of other people. That sounds like a flaw to me.
But it’s not a mental disorder, it’s something that I am in control of, as he was. The difference is, he would take offense to a black person crossing the street, minding their own business. A kid crossing the street, minding his own business, doesn’t get a second glance from me. I don’t care enough. So you could amend my earlier statement that I hate ALL kids to read that I hate obnoxious kids, and am totally indifferent to ones that are not disruptive and are leaving me alone. When said kid approaches me and tries to interact, then it scales up toward hate range.
As I said before, you would never even notice my child were you not looking for a reason to be offended. Rather than trouble yourself to make quiet remarks to me regarding my childs behavior, I would suggest that you choose more compelling dining companions. Perhaps then you would be more interested in your dinner conversation rather than what is happening at my table. I am an adult and do not need your “well meaning” pats on the head, nor does my child. Nosey busy bodies make my head hurt–maybe you should stay at home until you learn some manners.
That is a MASSIVE difference. You’re still pretty defective if you hate a person who tries to interact with you because of an accident of that person’s birth, but it’s not nearly so revolting and pathetic as your original statementthat you hate kids.
Hating obnoxious kids? No problem.
I’ve maintained through this whole thread that I don’t approach random kids on the street and shout at them for doing nothing that affects me. If you somehow came to that conclusion, you got there by yourself.
If I wouldn’t notice your child, then good. I hadn’t noticed the little girl I complimented today until I was on my way out the door.
I have very compelling dining companions. Or I have any number of books, if I’m eating alone (and yes, I do like to eat alone at times). However, if a screeching child is not only bothering me, but giving my best friend a migraine, then I’m gonna be pissed at the parents of that child, not just because it’s irritating to me, but on behalf of my friend. My friend has had four kids of her own, a few grandkids, and loves most children. But even she can be distracted and suffer because of oblivious parents.
If you are a concientious parent, then good on you. I wish more were like you. I see too many parents, though, who are content to let their children screech and run loose in the restaurant.