So are you hoping your kid grows up to be one of these people?
You are the parent. Teaching your kid not to act this way is your job. Tell the kid nicely that nonstop blather is not respectful of others, pleasant to listen to, or good conversation.
We all have our own offices here at work and I haven’t noticed any jibber jabberers; but my wife on the other hand…
She has a friend. I’ve never met the friend but they talk on the phone on a fairly frequent basis. My wife will end up putting the phone down (on speaker) and go about her business–cooking, cleaning, whatever. The friend will just keep on talking. And talking. And talking. At times my wife won’t even carry the phone around into the next room. She’ll do whatever she needs to do, come back 5 minutes later and mumble an “uhmmm hmm” or something and then leave for another 5 minutes.
Now here’s the funny part. For her other friends, it’s my wife who talks incessantly on the phone. She can go on for hours. Literally! Many times I wonder if she’s even stopped to take a breath. I can only wonder what the friend on the other end is doing.
None of this bothers me b/c I can’t understand a word of the conversations. They are all in Korean. Very easy for me to tune out. But I wonder how these women build relationships on hours-long monologuing. I conclude that they actually thrive on this type of “conversation.”
And it does let my wife get it out of her system and spare me the pain.
Don’t most kids out grow this, though?
If the kid were 13 or 14, I’d be concerned. But 8 sounds just about right for “talking a whole bunch of nonsense”.
I didn’t say there was anything abnormal about it. I’m saying to teach the child manners and social skills so it doesn’t go around bugging and boring people. Maybe most people DO outgrow it, but apparently there exist quite a few people that didn’t. Irritating everyone within earshot is no way to go through life, and eight is not too soon to begin learning how to read others and how not to be a pest.
I’m glad I don’t have children because I’d have a hard time teaching my imaginary child how to only talk when they have interesting things to say. Especially if they were unusually quiet OR talkative.
My mother was once called into school to talk to my second grade teacher about me. The teacher’s complaint was that I had been talking too much in class. To both others and to myself. My mother let me know about it, but that was as far as the “correction” went. And I suppose I learned my lesson because it never came up again. But it was really a strange “phase” since I was a pretty introverted child. I don’t remember even enjoy talking all that much. My only guess is that I was anxious or overstimulated and needed some kind of release.
Sometimes I do wonder if being labeled a “talker” made me equate socializing with being a bad girl.
I think I missed something up-thread - why can’t you get a headset for your phone? Surely you don’t have to hold it to your face all day, if you talk on it for a living? Just leave them on when you’re not actually talking to a customer, and say random things into the mic sometimes.
Anyway, I would say something like this to her: “I’m sorry to interrupt, but you’ve been talking non-stop for 20 minutes and as far as I can tell none of it was related to my work. I really need to get a lot of stuff done today for (you/our department/our customers), and I need some peace and quiet so I can concentrate and do the best job possible. Thanks for understanding.”
This is a good sign! It means that she really can be aware that she is impacting your work, so I think you can make this benefit you.
At the beginning of the day, not every day at first, say something like “Oh, I really really have so much to get done today. I probably won’t be chatty at all.” If she tries to draw you in to conversation, just say it again, “Oh, I can’t talk! I have so much to do. It’s just one of those days!”
What you want to do is get it kind of embedded in her mind that you may not be available for chat at all that day, so when she’s on her way in to work, she’s not counting on that outlet.
Gradually, you work your way up to that being the norm rather than the exception. If she ever asks, just say, “I know I haven’t been as available for conversation lately. I’ve really been trying to get my work done sot that I don’t think about it at home/worry about it later/have to scramble to catch up/fill in the blank with something appropriate.”
Good luck. I had a natterer at work, but he was a friend so I could say, “You’re really getting into some detail here. Is the detail important?” and he’d think about it and realize it wasn’t, most of the time.
Why would this be any harder than teaching them anything else?
That is to say, damn right it’s hard!
Is the flirty one also pregnant?
I had a very strange opposite reaction with a coworker once.
I am not a talker. I say just enough to get through the day, and I really wish other people would do the same. The chatterers get on my nerves.
My coworker was one of them. He would be on his cell as he came in to work, talking to his friends, would hang it up as his headset went on to talk to callers, and in between calls he would talk to me. When his headset came off his cell went on, and he’d be back with his friends. Objectively I should have killed him by the end of the first week.
In this case, I found it kind of soothing. So much verbiage, so little content, it became like white noise. I even learned the important difference between under eye cream and over eye cream, which I would never have encountered any other way.
The rest of them should be given a word budget and some form of shock collar for when they go over.