[rant that doesn’t deserve a thread because it’s not that big of a deal but I thought the OP was lame] Signing your posts is stupid. We can see by the bolded username on the side of your post that your nick is Carnick.[/…]
Yes, it might be convenient, but it’s lame. Incredibly lame. Can’t you people see that? Why can’t you use “my wife,” or “my husband”? Are tried and true words that have been used for hundreds of years too conformist for you hippies?
And yes, I AM that bitter, but all great thinkers are. Don’t worry, my next thread will be titled “Don’t you hate it when you get that shopping cart with one wobbly wheel?” and inside will be a bunch of quotes from Chappelle Show, The Princess Bride, and The Simpsons, so at least it will be universally agreeable.
When I rule the world, spouses will be referred to by their most prominent body part.
Yeah, yeah. Point taken. I stopped doing it, alright?
I’ll now sign my posts as:
- Mr. Awesome
I think my main squeeze would much rather be referred to as “the jillelope” than as “the broad I’m nailing.”
The Mr./Mrs. thing never really bothered me at all. I’m just glad the DH (“dear husband”) thing hasn’t caught on around here, because that’s really fucking schmaltzy.
(I don’t think I’ve ever seen DW–it appears to be a female thing.)
How else are they supposed to refer to their SO? husband/wife, EVERY SINGLE TIME?
My “husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/SO/blahblahblah” gets a little old. In real life as well. Sheesh, people find new names to call their partners, their kids, their pets, their bosses etc, all the time, real life, online, in letters, on the phone.
So?
We should simply go to a standard title based on gender: “Bitch” and “Prick” would probably work.
I’m going to go run it past SlyFrogette.
After discussing this with my companion, we decided that Skutirette was too cute by half. From now on, she will only be referred to as Skutir’s-punkin-ducky-pooh. Skutir’s-punkin-ducky-pooh feels that this is less obnoxious than Skutirette but more friendly and intimate than Significant Other or Partner.
Well, how else is one to refer to one’s spouse when talking to one’s social inferiors?
The term “boyfriend/girlfriend” starts to REALLY bug a person when you AND said “boyfriend/girlfriend” are well into your 30s/40s and older.
So how do you feel about “Shmoopy”? Yeah, that’s it…we should all refer to our spouses and SOs as “Shmoopy”. I like it a lot. “Shmoopy did the cutest thing yesterday.” Maybe we could all name our cats “Shmoopy”, too. Or “Shmoopy 2” if you have more than one. Is it growing on you yet? No?
Fuck you, Carnick, I’ll call her whatever I fucking well please, you obsessive fucking fuck. So pull that fucking rod out of your ass and get a grip on something besides your fucking dick. See…now that’s how a rant should start…not “oh me, oh my, you all are annoying me so much with how you write, that my little panties are all in a twist…”
Sound off like ya got a pair, goddammit!
Word. I’m 32, she’s 31, and the images summoned by the term “girlfriend”–passing notes, sweaty hand-holding, and the Prom–are totally out of whack with the nature of the relationship.
“Snoogy-Woogy Wips” is slightly better.
As for me, I’m not going to let Carnick’s pet peeves influence my writing habits WRT designating my family members. My wife will remain kaylasmom, her sister will remain kaylasauntie, my parents, kaylasgrandma and kaylasgrandpa (should the subject ever arise).
Oddly enough, my daughter has always been, and always will be, simply Michaela. Go figure.
Also: it is a good thing to learn something new each day, and today is the day I learned that people did not necessarily have a reason to refer to their spouses as “Designated Hitter.” I’m glad to finally have that out of the way.
I don’t know about you, but if Mr Wolf called me Cunt, or I called him Dick, there’d be a divorce in the works. 
Well, there is no Mrs. Triskadecamus. One of my sons has his own user name, although I never use it because no one really knows him. (He mostly lurks)
But I did once refer to my granddaughter as Quintadecamus.
I thought it was cute.
Tris
How about both genders using MFF for “My Favorite Fuckmeat”?
It’s got the advantage of brevity and yet the words for which it stands should keep the cutesiness to a minimum.
Beloved FM, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…
I’m going to tell my FFM what his new name is. 
Carnick wrote:
No, actually. By referring to my wife as “Mrs. W.” I am actually trying to conform to the norms of this message board. Not doing so would demonstrate my unwillingness to adjust to the peculiar society which exists here, label me an outsider, and permanently deny my full acceptance by many of the other Dopers. That you do not (or can not) see how much of a burden this spousal-naming convention is to some of us just illustrates that you’re a heartless clod, insensitive to the needs of those of us who desperately want to fit in.
In my case, you might be confounded to try to figure out who I’m talking about when I refer to “Mr. Esprix.”
Esprix
Besides the needless vulgarities, I don’t see a big difference between our ranting styles.
Fuckhead.