John Doe being your husband’s name of course. As we all know it used to be (& still is according to some people) proper etiquette for a married woman to use Mrs with her husband’s full name (only divorcees were supposed to use their own first names). Any of y’all still do this? Like on stationary or or socially. Not counting sarcastically or when you’re annoyed and want to make it crystal clear who your husband is? For those of you that don’t how annoyed (if at all) do you get when other people do it?
I never have and no one has ever referred to me that way as far as I can recall. Heck, hardly anyone calls me Mrs. Doe, with or without my first name.
As far as names, the only thing I don’t like is when people introduce me to little kids with only my first name. Until you’re an adult, you need to call me Mrs. Doe. I think the distinction is important.
I found a little dog in the road once and before taking her home for safekeeping, I left my number with the convenience store the dog was hanging around. I gave my name as “Mrs John Doe” so I wouldn’t get calls from creepy weirdos (it was that kind of neighborhood).
Hell no, and I find it a hair obnoxious coming from anyone but elderly relations. I haven’t taken my husband’s last name so it isn’t even accurate. “Ms./Mrs. Hislastname” is just a mistake anyone could make, since modern living is complicated and all, but “Mrs. HisFirst Hislast” just grosses me out. I have a first name.
Occasionally husband gets mail addressed to “Mr. Mylastname,” which I find amusing.
No, but I wouldn’t use Mrs. Jane Doe either. I would be fine with Mrs. Doe, Ms. Doe, or Ms. Jane Doe.
No, and I also find it obnoxious. It’s bad enough that I had to take his last name, I am not his property!
I’m thinking of legally changing my last name back to Bodoni. I really don’t like his last name.
No, because he doesn’t own me and I have my own name. I didn’t take my husband’s name either, so it’s even less likely that I’d go by some variant of his last name. It’s a good telemarketer filter, though!
I’ve never addressed myself as “Mrs. John Doe,” but when I was sending out wedding invites, I’d address them to married couples as “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe” (as long as I knew for certain that the wife/hubby combo had the same last name). It just seemed kind of old-fashioned and classy.
I like ChileanBlob’s idea of calling myself “Mrs. John Doe” in sketchy situations. I’ll try to remeber to do that!
In eight years of marriage I have never called myself that or been called that. I almost universally go by Ms., too, just because I like the symmetry of it - if guys can have an honorific that isn’t specific to your married condition, so can the ladies. 
No, but like Hello Again and her hubs, we have different surnames. I am quick to correct people who erroneously call me by his surname. Welcome to the 21st century, people. You can spare a few brain cells to remember people’s names, instead of taking the patriarchal shortcut.
We do occasionally refer to people (celebrities mostly) by a facetious version of this, such as “Mr. Diana Krall” for Elvis Costello.
I’m the lone dissenter so far. I have been addressed that way, and I don’t mind. According to our beliefs, when we married, we became one. I was more than happy to take his name.
Never, and it would be weird. But I don’t have a problem with little kids calling me by my first name or requiring that they call me Mrs. Foxfyre.
Fuck. No.
I have cut off relations with relatives who refuse to call me by my own, legal name. Needless to say, those not relatives generate even harsher reactions from me. I absolutely will not tolerate being referred to in that manner because I find it humiliating and degrading to be stripped of my identity.
I took my husband’s last name when we got married, but I still have my own first name - don’t see why anyone should address me by both of his names and none of my own.
I just can’t get behind the “we became one” reasoning. When we got married, I did not gain a penis or a love of tennis and Neil Young. We’re still two individual people. As Cat says, we have two different first names; why isn’t it OK for us to have two different surnames as well?
Here’s a question: Why doesn’t anyone call our husbands Mr. HerFirst HerLast? Hmm???
In exactly one situation. For instance: I had an account with some online service. When I got the account, way back when, we were all sitting around our new computer and we figured everybody would use this account, so we listed it in His Name.
Fast forward 9 years and it’s time to close the account. I call up. I identify myself, give the account no. and all that good stuff. For the last 5 years I’ve been the only one using this service.
It turns out that, before you cancel your account, they keep you on hold for as long as possible, hoping you’ll decide it’s not worth it. And I mean, like, three hours. At the end of which, this disembodied voice informed me that I could not cancel the account, because I was not His Name.
Now let’s keep in mind that this account was being paid for out of MY bank account. I called my bank and said, “No more electronic withdrawals from this service. Make that happen.” and they did. And so the online service did not get paid. And so, they called me. And when they asked who they were speaking to, I said, “Mrs. His Name. And I would like to close the account.” “Oh, what was your name again?” “Mrs. His Name. And I would like to close the account.”
Fortunately, it look much less than three hours that time. (Oh, the account still wasn’t closed–that took another three months, during which they kept telling me it was, in fact, closed–but at least it wasn’t being paid for and I wasn’t being kept on hold for three hours every time.)
I felt kind of bad that that worked. I think I may have done it a couple of other times, for the same reason. I did resent it. We were jointly paying for all those things, so why did my identity get erased? But I used the joint identity to cancel, and it worked.
Not a wife, but I honestly haven’t heard anyone do this except in movies and occasionally when addressing mail (and that always seemed a bit odd to me.) I certainly understand how people might find it degrading. But it’s funny when people who feel that way turn around and write something like this:
Only on formal corespondence, which doesn’t come up too often. And only when we’re being invited or addressed as a unit.
It doesn’t bother me. Because it’s always both of us being addressed, I view it (Mr. & Mrs. Kevin Lastname) as ‘our’ name as a social unit, rather than me being called by his name. On the very rare occasions when I send out formal mail from us jointly, I use that construction myself. As I said, it doesn’t come up often – we are informal people and usually just use firstnames (Tammy & Kevin Lastname).
I would think it was kind of weird if I got a letter to me personally that was addressed Mrs. Kevin Lastname. I wouldn’t be offended, just nonplussed. If I ever send formal mail on my own, I use Ms. Tammy Lastname, because I don’t like ‘Mrs.’ with my first name.
Another Ms. here.
It used to feel uncomfortable to me when the neighborhood children called me “Mrs. Doe.”
When we moved into this neighborhood we were thirty-somethings and I remember my husband being offended when he asked an elderly woman nearby what he should call her and she responded with Mrs. Taylor."
In fact, I think the old way of referring to women by their husband’s names nearly makes them disappear in some situations. When I read my hometown newspaper and people who have moved away are written about with reference to their married name I’m unsure who is being referenced unless I’ve kept up with their series of spouses.
There are times when I’ve wondered why I wasn’t independent enough at the time I married to think of hyphenating.
My grandmother (born 1918) signed her checks and all formal correspondence in the Mrs. John Doe format. Actually, she used his initals, so it was Mrs. J. P. Doe.
My mother (born 1952) changed her name both times she got married, and the first time (1970), she had to fairly often throw out junk mail addressed to Mrs. Mydad Lastname.
Me, I didn’t even bother changing my name at all.