People you wish would GO AWAY! (no Dopers)

Haley Mills, the little Pepsi mutant.

Alex Trebek. Like Jeopardy, hate him.

Jar Jar Binks.

ALL the people involved with (I can barely bring myself to type this) “Whazzup?”

Whoever dubbed the new Kids’WB offering, “Fraturday.” ARGH! Another barbarism.

Regis Philbin.

OK, y’all’s turn…

–It’s my pen name, oh1 Pseu, pseu, pseudonym!

The reporters that are here.

Dude, Haley Mills was in The Parent Trap. You’re thinking of Hallie Kate Eisenberg.

So many people, so little time…

Julia Roberts
Zsa-zsa Gabore
The Teletubbies[well, not actual people…]
Backstreet Boys
Donald Trump
Alec Baldwin
Joan Rivers
Brittney Spears
Hillary Clinton
And I agree with you on the little pepsi girl, whatever her name is…

Celebrities are too easy to ignore to make them truely ‘go away’ worthy. For real annoyance, I’d say:

  • co-workers that whistle while listening to music.

  • Anybody that whistles. Ever.

  • Slow drivers in my way while when I’m trying to get to work.

  • Gas station employees that ask for my i.d. every single time I go to buy smokes. You see me all the time! I know that you recognize me, why can’t you freaking remember that I’m 29 years old, and not 17???

  • I can’t go into details without resorting to inappropriate language, but a certain liar that had previously said she was going to stay away from me.

  • Everybody, when I’m in a bad mood.

  • Myself, more often than I’d like.

:o Guilty!

These folks are cordially invited to depart the earth on the next flight out:

Jesse Helms
All TV Evangelists
Oprah Winfrey
Jerry Springer
The people who laid out the roads in New Jersey
The person who invented toll booths
The current politicians who continue supporting toll booths
Paul Verhoven
Ken Starr
People who don’t know the left lane is for passing or understand the concept “right of way”
All insurance companies
All major airlines except Southwest
PE teachers who allow their students to play old-style dodgeball
People who write checks at the supermarket

  1. Al Sharpton
  2. Jesse “can’t keep it in his pants” Jackson
  3. Roger Clemmens
  4. Rosie O’donnell
  5. Monica Lewinsky
  6. Al Gore…Oh good HE really IS gone!
  7. Dennis Rodman, Carmen can stay.
  8. Opie and Anthony
  9. That annoying guy that Hawks sports Memorabilia in that crazy loud voice on QVC (or Homeshopping?)
  10. Spike Lee

I have only one:

This two-faced, back-stabbing ass-snake with a friendly grin biatch at work needs to be abducted by cruel, inquisitive aliens immediately. (Cruel, Inquisitive aliens: take note)

Not only does she walk by my desk and say inane shit like “Smile!” and “Do you have a case of the Mondays?” but in spite of all this, she will (and has) report(ed) me for innapropriate behavior.

If you’re going to be an asshole, at least be open about it… like me! Don’t slink around in the shadows like a hooker trying to avoid a cop or her pimp! Come right out and say it loudly and proudly, or at least let me know, you know? Send a memo or something:

Dear co-workers. I am a bitch. I will stand around at the local bar we all go to and swap bawdy stories with you and buy you drinks, but then when I’m at work I’ll get all offended if someone says “booty”. So watch what you say around me, because I am a psychotic hose-beast with hormonal imbalance induced periods of psychosis. During what alcoholics refer to as “a moment of clarity” I may seem to be friendly or even cool, but don’t be fooled. I will stab you in the back and get you fired because I am a holier than thou hypocrite. Do not trust me, and do not socialize with me.

Thank you for your time,

The Two-faced, back-stabbing ass-snake with a friendly grin Biatch where you work.

See? Wouldn’t that be better? Damn, I hope she falls in a hole and can’t get out, Lassie style.

Clowns, thats it. If they went away I would be a much happier man.

There’s this woman at work…I’ll explain.

NOTE: I work with people with developmental disabilities, and sometomes people donate clothes to give to the clients at workshop, in case they need a change of clothes. The woman I’m about to describe is the person in charge of collecting said clothing.
Okay, here we go. I will call her “Sara.” Sara spends every day at lunch in someone’s office. Sara has an office of her own, and there is an employee lunch room available, but every day, she wanders into someone’s office, sits on their floor (she rarely uses a chair, even when one is available and offered), and proceeds to start gabbing. It matters not whether the owner of the office is on their lunch break, is on the phone, is trying to get work done, etc. Sara proceeds to talk all about how much she loves George W., or hates democrats in general, or how the gas prices are out of hand, or where she went over the weekend, etc. One day, she actually took a nap on a co-worker’s office floor. I swear, I am not making this up.

A couple months ago, I cleaned out my closet and I brought in two big garbage bags full of old clothes for our clients. I gave these to Sara. Three days later, she was wearing one of my old shirts. I said something to the effect that those were supposed to be for the clients. She said, “Oh, but I just love this shirt!” Fine, I don’t mind. But now, almost every time I see her, she asks when I’m cleaning out my closet again (oh, and I’ve seen her wearing more than just the one shirt). She does this in front of people, which is really annoying. She actually walked up to me one day and wanted to know if she could have my shoes. She did this in front of several people, who had no idea what was going on. I realize that she is probably kidding most of the time, but still…it bugs me to have to hear it non-stop.

I could go on all day. I really wish I could make her go away.

Oh my God, I so agree with you mighty_maxx! I hate clowns!!!:eek::eek::eek: I should have added that to my list!

Brannon Braga, who of late has been responsible for some of the most appalling writing and character development I’ve seen in a Star Trek series.

Stockwell Day. Please, please, please.

Jean Chrétien. Please, please, please, please, please.

Bite me.


  1. Fundies
  2. Any right wing Christian who goes around Bible-thumping and wanting to ban anything they deem “immoral” basically giving other, more rational Christians a bad rep.
  3. Speaking of the right-wing, bu-bye George W.
  4. Fabio (Why the hell is this guy even famous? Really, I wanna know.)
  5. Adam Sandler (I was dragged to go see two of your movies by friends. I laughed once in the combined 4 hours of your stupidity and that was at something my friend said.)
  6. Alex Rodriguez (a quarter of a million dollars to play baseball? You greedy f#ck! I’d roll around naked in a tub of razor blades if it would heal my knees so I could play baseball again - for free!)
  7. Sir Smashington (local DJ - shut up and play music, I’m not listening to hear YOU. If I want talk radio, I’d listen to talk radio.)
  8. Rush Limbaugh

I’m sure I’ll think of more people later.

Gee,maybe I could sympathize…IF I KNEW WHO ANY OF THESE FREAKIN’ PEOPLE ARE!

My Statics professor.

Bout it.

That frikkin’ Aussie croc wrestler

(I heard I almost got my wish, too)

*Originally posted by matt_mcl *

I agree with you about Braga, but come on, Matt, I know Stock gets you hot.


Wayne Manzo. I have to sign him back on the internet every forty-five minutes. He’s sitting twenty feet away from me right now. He spends twelve hours a day working on this. I keep meaning to submit it as a Weird Earl, but I keep forgetting. It used to be even weirder.