Said changes, since I didn’t want to make the title too unwieldy, can cover anything from political views, religious conversions, going from being shy to very outgoing, hedonist to ascetic, and so on, even if strictly speaking they may not fall underneath the heading of “psychological.”
I have a friend who, when I first met him, was a liberal and an environmentalist who fought for several local causes. I once dared to read a book on Christianity, and he looked at me like I was crazy or something. Somewhere along the line he had a vision (while he was in the depths of despair as he tells it), converted to fundamentalist Christianity, and became a Republican dittohead who now calls environmentalists “enviro-whackos,” tho his core personality didn’t change at all really.
Not sure it counts, but my mom has alzheimers, and went from an amazingly together, intelligent woman to a woman who spends her days watching tv and doing word circle type puzzles, and reading magazines.
To point it out, back in WW2 she was working on the jet prototype in the engineering division. A few months ago we watched a documentary on it, and she was in the background recognizable and had absolutely no idea that was herself until we pointed herself out to her.
And people wonder why I tell them I am committing suicide before i ever get that bad.
I had a buddy in high school who was very cool, smart, liked science. Out of absolutely nowhere he became a Christian fundamentalist after high school, a REALLY radical one, and started displaying some rather severe sexual hangups.
Someone I know right now is going through what can only be construed as a midlife crisis, which involves, among other things, going from one of the most honest guys I’ve ever know to being one of the most dishonest. I dunno if “dishonesty” consitutes a psychological change but it’s very severe in this case.
My brother has changed twice. As a young lad, he was a very tender and caring, overweight science nerd. Consequentially, he was beat up every day and hated himself. During the summer before going to high school, he threw away every single book he owned, lost weight, got a proper haircut, and became a suave lady’s man who would do just about anything to be sociable. As the years turned on, this led to trying every drug there is, being constantly poor because he’d pay for friends to drink and be out partying every week, and eventually became an alcoholic. Since getting clean, he’s become fairly thoughtful and forward thinking–finally achieving something like adult maturity at the age of 30–but gone back to being overweight. He still refuses to read, however, having decided that he’s too old a dog to take up a new trick.
At any stage of all of this he’s been very emotional. He’s easily upset and becomes angry or sad or whatever quite easily. That’s essentially his true core. The rest just happened as a reaction to this.
Getting back to the OP I changed my political opinions pretty quickly after I started working for the government. I had been a card carrying leftist up until that point and my job was the culmination of years of schooling, and I was about to go out and start helping people.
I was so appalled at how inefficiently things were done - we’re talking massive waste and corruption - that I became an agnostic within days, then somewhat of a libertarian.
Since then I’ve varied my opinion many times, from extreme libertarian to moderate libertarian and all that, but nothing too drastic.
But my core values never changed. I’m still a pacifist. I still want to be sure that poor people get a fair shake. I still think democracy is the best way to go. So the ends are the same; I just think there’s a better way to get there.
My brother went from a kind helpful person to an asshole in the period of about 3 years. Most of it due to ‘dating’ internet sluts and whores that where after money that he did not have.
We tried to help. The chip on his shoulder prevented him from listening to any one and he as since disowned the family.
A woman I worked with seemingly changed overnight the day after her 40th birthday. I suspect that she may have ingested some bad drugs at a party. She had been an even tempered, bright, outgoing, athletic person, but the morning after–someone else came into work. It was like she had a psychotic break or something.
She acted like every nerve was exposed; she would stand up and shout at people while on the phone, break out into tears and run out of the room. She wouldn’t show up for work for days–and explain her absence with the most bizarre excuses. She started dressing like a homeless person and wore makeup that made her look like a cheap hooker.
A lot of people tried to help, and tried to get her to get some counseling or something. She refused. Even though people felt awful to see what happened to her, eventually her weird behavior alienated everyone and got her fired.
The 2 people whom I’ve personally witnessed drastic personality changes were both addicts, one to vicodyn and the other to alcohol.
The latter has gotten help and is back to his normal self, albeit divorced now. The former is still in the throes of her addiction and has no idea that her world is about to be rocked. Her husband is just gathering the evidence before he proceeds.
A friend of mine I met in Chile and was friends with for years afterwards underwent a huge change until, after a while, I simply couldn’t stay friends with her. When I met her, she had balanced political views, was pretty centrist, pro-choice, religious but not fanatic; then one day, she was attending anti-abortion rallies, trying to convince me that even birth control was murder and that Jesus was the answer to everything. It was bizarre.
My mom has also undergone a huge psychological change. It started out as pretty subtle - when my sister and I left for college, she started having a drink earlier every now and then. Now, when we visit for Christmas, sometimes we’ll find her wandering around the house with glass of gin at 10 a.m. She doesn’t remember things well anymore, often telling stories three or four times and forgetting entire conversations and phone calls, takes her friends’ political glurge as gospel and has decided that she doesn’t believe in evolution anymore because she can’t reconcile it with the story of Adam and Eve (which she tells me is just a story but she somehow can’t reconcile them anyway). She’s often cruel during conversations, alternating with sloppily emotional and needy, glossing over her more mean-spirited remarks by saying she’s of an age that she can “tell it like it is,” even if doing so means saying something horrible. In some ways, she’s more childish than my three-year old, who she sometimes frightens when she tries to drag him to her for sloppy, grasping hugs and kisses. She’s certainly not the mom I had in high school. Even then she was starting to go downhill, but I never thought she’d get to this point and I don’t see it getting any better.
Flip-flops like the one in the OP, which don’t really change the person at all, I know quite few just in my family.
My mother’s sister used to drink herself under the table and be a pain in the ass to anybody who didn’t drink. She now claims that she’s never touched alcohol in her life and is a pain in the ass to anybody who does drink.
I had a friend in high school that you could describe as a classic sort of All-American guy. He seemed to be good at everything he tried. He was quarterback on the football team, pitcher on the baseball team, A student, sharp and funny. He would have been a shoo-in for either a sports or acadmenic scholarship somewhere. When his parents got divorced, it was like someone flipped a switch. He lost all interest in school and decided that it was more important to become the redneck version of whatever a “man” was supposed to be. He quit school, became a truck driver, and began getting in bar fights. His whole attitude changed. I sat in a bar with him once and noticed that he was looking around to see if anyone would catch his eye. If so, his response was, “What are you lookin’ at, you sumbitch?” Even his speech changed, from an articulate, slightly Okie accent to full blown stereotypical dumb southerner.
Man, I hated losing him as a friend, but we became two completely different people with nothing in common except a shared history, and that wasn’t enough after a while.
I knew a guy in high school who was a straight A student. On the soccer team. Did various other school activities (band, drama, etc).
Then he got hit by lightening on the soccer field. It welded his braces shut. The coach gave him CPR and he made it.
Fast forward about a year and the guy was a total stoner. He quit everything he did in school, started hanging out with the metal heads (which was the crowd I hung out with), was stoned all the time and drank like you wouldn’t believe.
I’ve posted here (several times) about my sisters best friend killing her own husband- seemingly with no provocation and forcing her daughter at gunpoint to dispose of the body, followed by my sister having a breakdown,then several years of mental illness ending in suicide. This was followed by my own breakdown and worsening of my bipolar symptoms enough to eventually be properly diagnosed (after years of therapy) and get meds that helped.
Awhile back I posted this thread about a long-long-time family friend who, when I emailed her, sent an absurd “Do I know you?” reply. We basically grew up together, our families wen ton holidays together and our families would trade off hosting Christmas dinner with each other. My sister and I pretty much consider her and her brother to be quasi-siblings. Her brother has just agreed to be the best man at my wedding.
She was a generous thoughtful kid growing up. Did all sorts of volunteer work (eg/ sorting goods at the food bank) when she got into her early-teens, wanted to save the whales and give all her money to charity - sweetest girl you’d ever met! Then somewhere along the line, toward the end of highschool, she became an uber-materialistic bitch. Like the kind of Queen Bitch caricature you’d expect to see in a teen movie and not in real life. I missed most of this transition phase. So to me, she was Little Miss Ray of Sunshine one day, then I run into her the next and she’s Cruella de Vil wanting to make a coat from the pelts of the homeless.
She’s pretty much estranged from her brother because she thinks he married beneath him. During major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas she opts out of family events when he is the host because she “feels sorry for them” and so “can’t enjoy herself in his home”. That also turned out to be the answer to my old OP linked to above. Her exasperated mother confided in my mother that the reason she pretended not to know me is because she’s embarrassed by the fact that my soon-to-be spouse has a higher income than me.
I have no idea what the hell happened to this woman. That is NOT the way she was raised, her parents were loving and generous people and her brother is one of the most upstanding guys I’ve ever known.
Overlyverbose, has anyone talked to her about getting treatment for alcoholism? There’s a sad myth that there’s no point in trying if the person doesn’t want to get better, but I’ve heard many stories from people in recovery who say it started with a firm push from their family and friends.
My cousin – he had a lot of personal tragedies in his life, that said he was a wretched person in his tweens and twenties. By wretched I mean he was personally miserable and aggressively tried to make the people around him miserable as well. He would go out of his way to insult, demean, put down, etc, anyone who tried to be friendly or help him. I have known a lot of people dealing with depression and this was more than that - he was just mean. I sympathize with the bad shit that happened in his family but it was upsetting and wearying to be around him; I avoided him as much as I could.
A couple of years ago (now in his 30s) he got married, to a woman who had two girls from a previous marriage and honestly my first reaction was “those poor kids.” BUT I was wrong entirely, he is a loving father to the girls, he has a sense of humor about life - no he is never going to be Little Mr. Sunshine but he is completely different in the way he interacts with people, he isn’t spiteful anymore and I really enjoy hanging out with him now at family events (he suddenly seems to be among the saner of my relations, actually). I have no idea how that happened but I’m glad it did.
I’ve gotten onto some anti-depressant meds and my whole world has changed. I see the good in situations. I don’t despair over things I can’t control. Goings-on at my workplace that, a year ago would have caused me to say “Fuck it, I quit” now roll off my shoulders.
I’ve also undergone some pretty dramatic political changes.
Ten years ago I was a proud Reagan Republican. Now I’m almost completely Libertarian. I’m for drug legalization, gay marriage, etc.
Well I feel better, particuarly since I realized I can count myself in this category for positive change. ( I was suicidal most of my life and haven’t been in years)
