As part of the general tightening of security, everyone in the firm must now display a firm photo ID upon entering the building. Fine and good.
I received mine today. It’s laminated, with a gorgeous photo of yours truly, a slot thoughtfully cut into the lamination so I may attach it to sundry objects … and it is 1/2" longer than my wallet is wide. So now the freaking thing is sticking out of my wallet, cutting into my sensitive ass flesh.
Perhaps I’m asking too much, but I am convinced that somewhere, someone has invented a process by which the ID could have been made smaller. Then again, I’ve been wrong before.
Dammit, Sua! Don’t you understand? This is a brand new war, a new type of conflict, an engagement different from any we have ever faced. We don’t know what we’re getting in to, we don’t know where we’ll really end up; all we know is that we need to think outside of the box on this one, to imagine the matter in ways previously undefined. Therefore, rather than focusing upon how to make our ID cards smaller, we must think of ways to make your ass flesh stronger. Harder. Tougher. Cut-resistant. Flameproof, even.
Um, are you sure you’re supposed to carry it in your wallet, SuaSponte? I’ve had ID badges like those, which also included the aforementioned slot cut into the lamination. Except that where those badges were used, a necklace or string was run through the slot so that the person could wear it around their neck, or clippers were attached to the slot so that the badge could be clipped to the front shirt.
Amazingly, I still have my badge from the last place I worked at (I was supposed to turn it in when I left, but [sub]oops[/sub] I forgot and they stopped caring enough about me to ask what happened to it), and it is indeed about a 1/2 inch wider than my wallet. I never considered putting in my wallet, for the simple reason that I had to have in full view on my person at all times when I worked there.
That’s really what the partners of the firm were saying when they created this, Sua.
“We need to think outside the box. Let’s create something that sticks into theirs.”
Atreyu, we only need it to get into the building - we have a separate pass card (credit card-sized) that opens doors within our offices.
Yes, you can (and some staff does) clip it or attach it to a string. I can’t - wearing the ID in such a manner is, I am informed, “unprofessional” for an attorney. So I gotta keep it in my wallet.
John, isn’t the point of our new and amorphous battle against terror so that we can protect our rights to life, liberty, and tender ass-flesh?
The economy’s in the dumper guys, and we need more security. By giving you an up-sized ID badge (bigger is better in America, after all), they get better security, and you have to go out and buy a bigger wallet. The economy grows! Bennies all around!
But, wait…! There are no properly sized wallets out there… That means industry has to design the New, Improved Wallet 2001[sup]tm[/sup] (now with Terror-Guard[sup]tm[/sup]! Guaranteed to prevent terrorists from hijacking your wallet!). In order to be competitive with them damn furrin companies and their gov’t sponsored commie-wallets, we need tarrifs and US gov’t support to industry! Cash grants! Tax breaks! That’s how we’ll get the economy rolling again…!
And to think, it just took one inconveniently-sized ID badge to restore America to it’s rightful place in the world…
There are much smaller devices out there. The place where I work require similar stupid mugshot cards, but when the card is scanned in, a full photo id pops up on the computer in the security booth. The guard then glances at the computer picture and allows me to proceed. I don’t understand why a picture has to be on the id card. I guess so that I know to put it on myself instead of giving it to a stranger…
At the place my wife works she has a key chain with a tiny little sensor pass on it which does virtually the same thing.
If you wear a suit jacket or sport coat you could keep the id in there, otherwise you might want to consider attaching the id to your ass surgically. While it might not sound comfortable at first, your body will adjust while you get the pleasure of mooning anyone who wants to see the stupid id.
What you have is obviously not a wallet, but a billfold (there is a significant difference). You deserve a nice new wallet. I personally recommend the Mont Blanc Meisterstuck Wallet 7 CC, that’s what I have. Your US Passport will fit in it, but it is still slim and easy to carry…
Nothing to add to the OP except that your firm apparently used the same contractor as mine did.
The cards came today. They are exactly too large to fit into a wallet correctly. And, uh, not exactly high security. A quick trip to Times Square could get something as good or better.
But we’re told they’re just temporary, until they can prepare the super-magneto-picture-sending-retinal-scan-number-of-the-Beast cards arrive.
Nitpick: A billfold is just barely large enough to hold bills, but a wallet is usually large enough to hold your passport or a checkbook.
Everyone deserves to own a nice Meisterstuck wallet.
No, but maybe if I’m nice enough, they’ll give me the $7500 Meisterstuck briefcase I’m lusting after. But if it was my money, I think I’d rather have a new car.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but this is exactly the type of thing that burns my biscuits about this guy. So fucking WHAT if Sua said “wallet” or “billfold” or whatever?
Random GQ: What is the average lifespan of a ChimpANzee?
Chas.E: Obviously ChimpanZEE is correct, and without question ChimpANzee is wrong.
Some other Doper: Uh, well according to MW, the pronunciation is as follows: (")chim-“pan-'zE, -p&n-'zE, -'pan-zE sometimes (”)shim- So it appears both are correct.
Chas.E: No, CimpanZEE is the correct way of pronouncing it.
Chill, Dooku, I’m just saying that if your ID card won’t fit in a small billfold, get a wallet, they’re larger. Sheesh! Any leather goods shop will know the difference. It’s kinda like the difference between boots and shoes. If you ask “where are my shoes?” and someone hands you your boots, you’ll be satisfied, but if you go into a shoe store and ask for boots, they won’t show you any low top shoes.
Actually, my best friend just went out and bought himself a good leather shop, and after calling him up I know for a fact he hasn’t the slightest clue the difference.
CHAS, I mean no attack when I say: This is the sort of thing you do that bugs people a lot. SUA says “I need a bigger wallet.” Instead of replying to the substance of that post, even if only to say “sucks to be you,” you say “you’re not talking about a wallet you’re talking about a billfold; there is a significant difference.” So speaketh the wallet/billfold expert, gratuitously correcting the OP’er in a totally unnecessary, nitpickish way.
There may be a functional difference between a wallet and a billfold in your world, but there isn’t in mine – a position obviously supported by the fact that the two words are listed in the dictionary as synonyms. So then you follow up with yet another unnecessary nitpick that is not even supported by the dictionary definitions already listed. Oh, and “boots” and “shoes,” unlike “wallet” and “billfold,” are not synonyms. But more importantly – this has fuck-all to do with the OP. Nada. It is merely you dropping by to correct the SUA in a totally unnecessary and patronizing way (there is a “significant difference” – like hell there is). I’m not asking you to admit you’re wrong – like I imagine that would ever, ever, under any circumstances happen – but surely you can see why people find this behavior aggravating.
SUA, I’m with the DUCKSTER. I’m thinking a nice purse, though – maybe a Dooney & Burke, say in a maroon. With the matching pumps, of course.
