I believe there are a lot of gradations in “transphobe”. And I think if he was interacting with a trans person who wasn’t his child he would use the right name and pronouns. It’s harder when it’s someone you have emotionally invested in thinking of in a certain way. Maybe I’m wrong about him. 
And yeah, I have issues with Libertarians, too.
oh, absolutely. He’s not an idiot absolutist.
When you own horses and want to live on secluded property, your options are limited.
A friend grew up in conditions that led to him being a homophobe. His son, one of the greatest human beings I have ever known, came out in high school. His dad’s behavior led to him cutting off all contact. I helped the father eventually wrap his head around the situation, unfortunately too late. Human behavior is complicated.
I’m reminded of an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry wears the MAGA hat so people stop bothering him.
~Max
Without the OP saying so, I totally believe the guys transphobia about his son is what has him wanting to vote for Trump.
Parents do grieve the loss of their childs birth gender. It takes time. Doesn’t mean they quit loving the human that is their child now. They have to work through it.
If, big if(I know), he’s got into watching the vicious transphobic Trumpers online or on Fox he’s drowning in it.
Maybe @puzzlegal you can throw him a lifeline if you can find some info on how to broach the subject without political nastiness.
You’ll have to be careful with it.
Naw, I’m sure that’s not the issue. I think it’s actually a fear of socialism. And regulation. Maybe a side order of not liking “the woke agenda”. But mostly the first two.
Yup
(5 characters)
Just don’t talk politics and maybe you can stay friends.
The “woke” stuff is fat with transphobic shit.
The “woke” and the Trumpists are fighting everyday.
Have you seen him do that? Or are you just hopeful?
Like I said, each to their own. Your priorities are your own.
Naah. That shit doesn’t fly. I grew up in an area that was deeply religious and rife with machismo, was myself raped more than once, and did not develop homophobia myself. It’s a personal defect, not a social disease, and excusing it as one allows it to continue to fester.
Don’t get me started on Larry David…
I guess I should have said “intentionally wearing” just to forestall endless nitpicking about “what if they’re in a leftist play?” (fine) or “what if they’re wearing it ironically?” (terrible) or “what if their MAGA relative they’re visiting lent it to them so they wouldn’t sunburn at the beach?” (get sunburned) or “What if they’re Larry David?” (unfunny, but see the play above).
Not everyone chooses exactly where they live. Sometimes it happens to you and you make it a happy home for yourself and family and animals. I’d prefer not to live urban. Because I don’t have to. If it makes others happy I’m over the moon they are in their happy place. We all should be. I wouldn’t demean them for it.
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Not everyone has the brilliant, all seeing, perfect sense of who’s right and who’s wrong. Some folks have to figure things out. Maybe go back and learn some kindness and understanding. You missed that chapter.
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Have you ever heard of a play, movie or work of art that might be disturbing? A portrayal of an unpopular or evil person?
There’s only about 2 billion of them.
Larry, schmarry. He’s a comedian. He’s often unnerving. You think maybe it’s an act? 
I’m not a fan of the cynicism in most of the replies. Assuming that something is impossible is the one way to guarantee that it is impossible.
Since we’re not dealing with someone who is MAGA, I think a more logical approach is fine. Libertarians in particular tend to hold themselves out as being “the logical ones.” I’d say to capitalize on that.
The first thing that comes to my mind would be to ask what positions Kamala has that he considers “far left.” It’s very possible that he is just believing Republican propaganda, and doesn’t have many ideas on that. He might also believe things that aren’t true. There’s a whole lot of “socialist” fearmongering from the Republican side.
Yes, there is the stuff where she’s talking about capping the market, but Trump is also very pro-tariff and protectionist. So that should be a wash if discussed rationally.
I do also wonder about their love for their kid. If it is as you say, and something they’ll have to get over, it might be possible to appeal to that love. Trump is promoting several things that are genuinely harmful to trans people, which would harm their kid. Even if they don’t approve of their kid’s “choices,” that doesn’t mean that they’d be okay with someone else hurting them because of it.
Those are just what comes to mind. I can’t say I have experience with this convincing people in this situation.
But I have convinced a loved one to be pro-choice when they were previously pro-life, which seems harder than this.
I can’t live urban. Drives me straight up the wall.
I spent a year driving around the country figuring out where to settle. It wasn’t the people who drove the decision, it was the land and the climate. [ETA: It was partly the people when it came to the details; but primarily land and climate as far as the general region.] (I wasn’t expecting the USA Southeast’s climate to follow me up into the Northeast; but I ain’t going anywhere now, I belong here.)
And even in NYState anywhere rural runs considerably red. A lot of my neighbors are Trumpists, yes. And a lot of my family are libertarians, some of whom I suspect of voting for Trump in the booth. But they’re still my family and still my neighbors, damn it – and I’m still theirs, though they know where I stand. If we lose that – that’s exactly what Trump et al are trying to accomplish, making us lose that.
And I have known a shitload of people who started off homophobic and gradually changed their minds, often over a period of many years. I strongly suspect that a lot of the transphobic will do the same. Call them on it, yes. Cut them off over it – that has to be an individual case by case decision. Not a flat fiat for all relationships.
I have danced with him in a venue that was 30% trans. He was friendly and polite, and used the names on people’s name tags. I’m not sure pronouns came up, but i would have noticed if he misgendered anyone there, as it’s part of my responsibility at the place to help our dancers feel safe, and correct pronoun use is part of that.
(the “safer dances” policy was created largely to have a mechanism to protect attractive young women from excessive attention, but in practice, it’s mostly been used to address pronoun use and and overly firm hand holds. I’ve done a modest amount of pronoun policing.)
Libertarian rarely means anything more than “More, more, more for me!” these days. Everything else is window dressing.
First let me say I’m sorry for what you’ve endured.
So, 55 years ago I was a kid in a fairly liberal Jewish community. The word “faggot” was part of everyone’s vocabulary and we teased kids calling them “gay”. The idea of a “tranny” wearing women’s clothing was typical humor on television.
Over the years that changed. I’m a much different person than I was when I was ten. So are >90% of the people I grew up with.
Is it your belief that we should have all been assumed worthless and given up on?
I’m not talking about ten-year olds, nor am I talking about 55 years ago. I’m talking about middle-aged adults today, still displaying hate.
Sounds like you do have reason to be hopeful he’ll come around on his own child, then.