Perversions or another "Am I Weird?" thread.

I was reading an ER thread in Cafe Society that had a slight side hijack into a Luka or Carter lustometer. I said to hubby: Know what would be really hot? Luka and Carter-- together!" Which earned me a “Geez I married a crazy lady” look from my husband.

Watching hubby wash dishes really turns me on.

I like boobies. I think they are pretty. I like penises (but they are decidedly not pretty.) If I wasn’t married and met a nice guy with boobies, I’d do him.
So, please tell me I’m not weird. Or post your even weirder perversions so I don’t feel so bad.

I don’t know who Luka and Carter are.

It’s hard to imagine myself in your situation, because I’m relatively indifferent to penises, and I love breasts, but from a boy-who-likes-girls’ perspective. But I’ll try:

I would imagine boobies on a man to be hairy. You may have meant shaved or naturally hairless boobies, but you didn’t specify, so I’ll have to go with the image of hairy man-boobs bobbing in front of my face. I can’t imagine a situation where that could possibly be attractive. But to each his or her own. So I say, enjoy your natural, healthy perversion, Biggirl. A little deviance is a good thing.

everybody shake it
time to be free amongst yourselves
your mama told you to be discreet
and keep your freak to yourself
but your mama lied to you all this time
she knows as well as you and I
you’ve got to express what is taboo in you
and share your freak with the rest of us
cause it’s a beautiful thang

–Macy Gray, “Sexual Revolution”

I know a man with a penis and boobies, Biggirl!

Only he’s not really a man anymore, even with the penis. Her name is Tara now, though she used to be Wally. She got her boobies around January and they are very nice, much nicer than mine.

The nice thing about Tara is that she’s is attracted to women, so if you weren’t marriesd, maybe you could do her!

This one is common enough that they should really mention it in health class in high school.

HEY MARRIED GUYS! Want a little lovin’ tonight? Without a word from her, wash the dishes after supper while your everlovin’ watches. I swear, it almost counts as foreplay.

Whenever I’m over at my cousin’s house, her husband is inevitably vaccuuming or doing some other household chore. I just wanna rip his clothes off and have my way with him right on the French tile kitchen floor…and the one time he vaccuumed in his State Trooper uniform before heading out to work, I thought I was going to foam at the mouth.

I think perversions are healthy, Biggirl. They keep the creative ahem juices flowing.

I dated a guy with boobies. He was out of shape. They were not sexy.
Speaking of boobies, I LOVE man-nipples. I like to lick them and play with them. One of my exes thought there was nothing odder or less welcome. I would sometimes get carried away, forget, and lick them, and he’d be grossed out. But - they’re so… FUN to lick! Not slobbery-lick, though.

I like a guy with a little bit of stubble. I don’t think it’s sexy-LOOKING, but I fantasize about what it will feel like Down Under.

I think it’s sexy when a guy gardens.

I say that every week. Unfortunately, E.R. does not share my love for latent homoeroticism. For that I have to watch Smallville.

Other “bizzare” perversions:

Men in convincing drag. Especially if he has an exceptionally pretty face.

I would also date a person with boobies and a penis, if such a situation ever presented itself.

I like gay porn better than lesbian or straight. I really enjoy watching men kiss.

So, no, you don’t seem any wierder than I am.


Hmmm. I never really thought of Luka and Carter gettin’ it on, but hey. It might make quite an interesting episode. :wink: It might actually get me to start watching ER again.

As far as my own perversions, there’s nothing I find sexier than a man who’s barefoot and cooking me a nice dinner in the kitchen, or who’s cleaning the house for me. Whoo! [celestina fanning herself!] I don’t care if I sound perverted or even sexist. If a decent fella wants to get me all hot and bothered, cooking and cleaning for me is the absolute way to go. Of course, speaking to me in a foreign language or in a nice Southern accent, demonstrating that he’s intelligent, and/or giving me a nice massage would do the trick too. :innocent eyes:

I just wanna add one more vote for the boobies + penis combination. Yum!