Affirmative on the incorrect use of ‘sign/s’; neutral on the cork one.
Related word hate, courtesy of election season: ‘surrogate’. Do you mean 'spokesman? Of course you do, copycat media gits.
Bow ties. Hate, hate, hate 'em. I spent two miserable years as a research assistant for an arrogant, petty, insecure asshole of a professor who wore a bow tie every day. I now have a Pavlovian response to them.
Count me in as number 2 about hating when people stand directly in doorways, entrances, hallways, and the head/foot of stairs, blocking everyone else from getting by. When I lived in NYC, there was a special breed who would take one step through the subway doors and freeze, apparently unaware that other people wish to board the CAR OF MASS CONVEYANCE as well. I took great glee in shoving right past them… and, luckily for me, looks can’t kill.
I hate the skin moisturizer commercials that are only lithe 18-year-old women dancing around in underwear. Yeah, like a skin cream is going to make me look like that. Seriously.
I hate people who find justifications after the fact for doing something, and then tell them to you like the actually thought about it in advance. Look, I know you made a random decision, and now you’re giving me a laundry list of obviously after-the-fact rationalizations. Why not just admit to doing something at random? Everyone does it. No one owns up to it.
People in line who don’t progess, who stand there and let a giant chasm open up between themselves and the person in front of them. I don’t know why this irritates me so much, I get to the checker in exactly the same amount of time, but it does.
…and chowder, I’ve always liked you, in fact, you’re a heck of a Doper, but it has always been my policy to hate those who hate dogs. I can’t see a way out, can you? 
This would be me, who doesn’t like standing too close to people… but I actually agree with you… There are people who just stand there with too much room in front of them.
It’s worse when your queue is a single-queue-for-two tills … and the person in front of you is standing at the EXACT spot where he is neither the joint, nor committed to either fork of the queue… So you’ve got that situation where unless YOU join the other fork… someone will come along and stand there not realizing that the queue for that till is behind me…
So you either get dirty looks or someone who’s queued for far less time than you gets served before you.
Groups of people congregating in the middle of hallways at school/middle of aisles in stores. Some of us are trying to get to class/do our shopping. If you want to stop and chat do it elsewhere. At the very least, move when someone says excuse me.
Loud people and sounds. I have hyperacusis. It’s not horribly bad but it does make me sensitive to loud noises. I’ve also noticed repetitive sounds make me irritable.
Music everywhere. I love music. I enjoy listening to it often. But I do not want to hear someone’s distorted bass thumping loudly while I’m pumping gas. Also, why does every store feel the need to blare music from the P.A. system? Are that afraid of being alone with our thoughts?
People who do not listen and cannot follow simple instructions. Thursday in my anatomy class we were dissecting out blood vessels in our cats. The prof wanted one person from each lab group to view a cat she was working on. There is not enough room for everyone to crowd around to see. Most of us sent one person from the group. A few groups decided they should all go. Because of that not everyone was able to see what the prof was dissecting and explaining.
Lobsang, sorry about standing too close behind you the other day.
You see, I hate people who cut across the line in front of me to get to . . .wherever, instead of going around the end of the line. This drives me insane, especially when there’s not really enough room for them to get through and they have to squeeze by or step over my toes.
I don’t mind letting one or two through but it’s usually a situation where there’s a lot of “cross” traffic so I’m constantly getting brushed against or stepping/leaning back to avoid it. Just go around, or you’re going to keep pissing me and Lobsang off (or cause us to get engaged)!
I also hate stock people who don’t acknowledge that the reason they have that job is me. I’m talking about those who are moving merchandise around or stocking it without an “excuse me” or simply cutting me off. Though this should really be done after hours(not going to happen) I understand. Just acknowledge that I’m the paying customer and the reason you have to do the job you’re doing. It’s bad enough when it’s another patron who’s acting this rude, but when it comes to stocking personnel, I’m the reason you’re having to stock. If I, and others, get pissed off and decide not to come back, you won’t have that job to do. This also goes for people who take up positions in the aisle to stock and block through-traffic and roll their eyes when you ask them to let you by.
Shall I add people who don’t have a basic grasp of how conversation works? You know the type – they sit there while you’re talking and either a) try to interject at every breath, or b) just overtalk you completely. The worst part about it is when they ask you to repeat something 3 or 4 times, because they just can’t shut the godsdamned fuck up for 5 seconds so you can talk uninterrupted! I just don’t get it.
People who touch my groceries when I am at the checkout. What the fuck, mate? If my shit is somehow in your way (which would be odd, since I am fucking anal retentive as all hell in using those little divider things), ask me to move it, but do fucking not touch my shit. ESPECIALLY my fresh produce. I swear to Cthulu, you will be my sacrifice when I summon him.
People who bully and intimidate others to make themself look smarter/more knowledgeable/whatever. Case in point – asshole that works at Gallatin Wal-Mart. The self-proclaimed “computer guru.” I got news for ya, buddy – if you were a computer guru, you wouldn’t be working at Wal-Mart. Esepcially with Dell less than 30 minutes up the road. You’re a moron. I do realise that I have tits and that I made the mistake of asking you if you carried a particular thing (a Lan converter for the Wii – since we don’t have a wifi connection) – but to tell me such a thing does not exist? Better yet, to tell me that such a thing does not exist because you cannot convert the signal that runs through a cat-5 cable to a USB signal? FFS, that’s beyond stupid. They do exist. If I hadn’t been too lazy to go dig through our old shit in the attic, I would have dug out the one we have had for about 7 years. But I wanted a new one. Best Buy takes my money just as quickly and easily as Wal-Mart. Oh, and FTR? The guys that work there do seem to know a little bit about computers, and even then don’t call themself the “computer guru.” Cocksucker.
My fucking skin. What the fuck is up with me having acne in my mid-30’s? Seriously, I never got zits as a teen, but now, I look like a fucking pizza woman.
Another agreement. In a former life I was a stock person (we call us ‘shelf stacker’). I was spacially aware enough to know when someone wanted something near or at where I was stocking (If I was already there) and I knew instinctively that it’s only polite to wait until a customer has finished choosing their shopping before I go and stand where they were stood to stock it.
On a similar note, I (as a customer) despise pushy fellow customers (which seems to be nearly everyone) who will barge in front of you while you are choosing something from a shelf. Wait your FFFF…UCKING turn!
I HATE my comfort-radius being violated.
Ah. You know, I don’t like the word signage much either, it’s just a colloquialism in the carwash industry.
Funny. The carwashes I run, they are part of the uniform (and I hate them too, but it does give us that old-timey service station attendant feel).
If you don’t know me, then don’t touch me unless invited. That’s simple enough, right?
I hug friends. There are relatives (and even a few close friends) that I kiss upon greeting. I don’t mind if a friend throws his arm around my shoulders. I shake hands with people. When I’m sitting next to a friend at a theater, I don’t mind if our legs touch. But that doesn’t mean I want a waitress putting her hand on my shoulder. I don’t want the person in line behind me touching me. I also don’t want his briefcase, umbrella, or shopping bag touching me.
This has never been an issue for me. I seem to find interesting people everywhere if I take the trouble to look.
One day, when I take over, all public places and passageways will have a wide red floor-covering going down the center of all corridors, with perhaps 12 inches of non-red running along each wall. Doorways are 100% red. If you’re caught standing in the red, you’re immediately detained and given a Tabasco enema. Eventually people will either learn not to block passage, or they will learn to enjoy having their bowels burned out.
I am not quite sure how this will work in Mexican restaurants, but I figure I’ve still got plenty of time to work on it.
On behalf of readers and writers everywhere, I reserve this level of hate for “verbiage.”
I think I’m going to like it when you take over. If the Tabasco doesn’t work I suggest Apocalypse sauce.
Guess I’ll just have to start cultivating less interesting interests.
What book is everybody reading lately for no really good reason? Does it have Cliffs Notes®?
People who tailgate me on the highway, when I’m: 1) in the right lane, 2) already doing 45 through the portion that’s 40mph 3) going around a curve in the deathtrap that is the highway through downtown, and 4) the freakin’ left lane is open. WHY? MORON! BACK THE HELL OFF OR PASS ME! PASS ME! IT’S RIGHT THERE! If I round the curve and there’s an accident rightthehellthere (which has happened to me on this damn road) I don’t want you visiting me via my back window! TAKE A FUCKING PHYSICS CLASS! Your truck + 40 mph = not able to stop within the 3 feet we have between our bumpers! Everyone in this godforsaken city follows too closely!
And then there’s these annoying car dealer commercials. Fucking Rochester.
I had a similar rant to beanpod’s post that I said to a coworker in my former job. My coworker responded with “You know what I hate? People who drive too slow. I always get really close and ride their bumper until they speed up.”
So…stupid people. I hate them. Especially ones who only hear a small percentage of what you say and piece together their own, completely different, sentence out of it.
I also hate when someone mumbles, and then I say “What?” and they repeat it exactly the same way they said it the first time. I didn’t ask for a re-enactment, I asked for an audible translation. This often happens several times in a row.
Being shushed. This happened to me a lot as a kid. I have been shushed so that someone could hear a commercial. I usually responded with, “No big deal, we can put that fire out later.”
Angry people. It’s a fucking epidemic. Adults are behaving in a way that would shame a toddler.
I, for one, welcome our new tabasco-wielding overlords 